Spark in the Dark

Shawn looked around. The entire wedding had stopped and was staring at them. She saw Gemma first, who looked pissed. Opie and Lyla were next, followed by Jax and Tara. Tig had stood from his seat at a table. His hands were on his hips as he waited for her to answer. Last, she saw Juice, who was standing at the bar with Chibs. His face had an absolute look of devastation.

Shawn looked back down at Brent, who was impatiently waiting. "No."

"What?" Brent asked, dumbfounded.

"I am so sorry, but no."

Shawn pulled her hand away from him and walked off the dance floor. She started down the aisle Lyla had made her entrance on, trying to rush to the bathroom before losing control. Lyla was about to follow, but Gemma stopped her and went instead.

Brent rose from his knee and put the box back in his pocket. He walked through the crowd and over to the bar. Opie and Jax tried to subtly follow him to make sure there would be no trouble.

"Can I get a shot of whiskey?" Brent asked the bartender. "Actually, make it a double."

Brent got his drink and downed it.

"You okay, man?" Jax asked him.

Brent didn't answer his question. He didn't even look up at them, but continued staring at the bar.

"Will you guys make sure Shawn gets home alright?"

"You're just going to leave her here?" Opie asked, disapprovingly.

"Yeah. I am. Will you make sure she gets home or not?"

"Yeah," Juice told him harshly. "We'll take care of her."

Brent finally looked up at him. "I'm sure you will."

He walked away from everyone to head back to his car. Jax looked at the other guys.

"Oh, shit," he said. "Alright, we got a lot of shit to do tonight. Let's not get distracted."

The guys nodded at their VP's words. Chibs patted Juice's shoulder and they walked off. They also had to get ready to leave.

Gemma reached the bathroom door and knocked. "Shawn, sweetheart? Can I come in?"

"Sure," Shawn answered. Gemma opened the door and saw Shawn sitting on the floor, breathing heavily. "I feel like I'm having a heart attack. My chest hurts and I can't breath."

"You're having a panic attack, baby. Just try to relax, okay? Take deep breaths."

"Why did I do that? What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Gemma insisted. "You do not have to marry someone just because they ask. You don't owe him anything."

"That's not what I meant. I should have never been with him. Now, I've hurt two people."

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't worry too much about him. Brent was a prick. And if Juice loves you even half as much as I think he does, he'll understand and forgive you."

"What if I can't forgive him?"

"You know that's not going to happen."

Shawn took a few deep breaths and tried to call down. The pain in her chest was beginning to subside. "Why didn't you tell me you thought Brent was a prick?"

"Would you have listened?" Gemma asked.

"Maybe. I'm not a teenager anymore."

Tig walked into the bathroom and pulled Shawn up off the floor and into his arms. "I am so proud of you, Shawn."

"You are?"

"Of course I am. That was really brave."

"Really? Doesn't feel brave after running away to hide in the bathroom. How am I going to go out there and face him now?"

"You don't have to. He left," Tig informed her.

"He did?" Gemma asked. "Jesus, he really is a prick."

Shawn was trying to take deep breaths, again, like Gemma said, but was having a hard time. Tig gave Gemma a look.

"I got it," Gemma told him and he nodded.

"You take all the time you need," Tig said and kissed her forehead. "I got to get back out there."

Shawn nodded and he left. She looked over at Gemma. "You really think Juice will forgive me? You don't think I made a mistake?"

"I saw the look on Juice's face, too," Gemma told her. Shawn closed her eyes as she tried not to cry. "Do you regret saying no?"

"No."

"Sounds like you made the right choice then. Take a deep breath, put on a brave face, and let's get back out there. Everyone here loves you and just wants what is best for you. No one is going to think anything of it."

Shawn nodded and let Gemma lead her out of the bathroom. Some of the guys, Jax included, were near a large truck. He saw them coming and said something to the driver before going around to the back to say something to the guys inside the back of the truck. Shawn looked up at them and saw Juice inside the truck. He had put on a black hoodie and knit hat. They only looked at each other before the door to the truck closed and they left. Jax walked over to Gemma and Shawn.

"Where are they going?" Shawn asked.

"Club shit," Jax explained casually. "You alright?"

Shawn nodded. "Nothing a drink can't fix."

"That's the spirit," Jax said and put an arm around her shoulders.

Shawn managed to somewhat enjoy the rest of the evening. She even danced the last slow dance with Tig, which must have been something to see, since neither of them had much rhythm.

Gemma drove her home at the end of the night and Shawn took a long, hot shower. She decided to let her hair air dry and she would just deal with it in the morning. She put on a pair of comfortable shorts and a tank top and climbed into bed, but even after hours of laying awake, tossing and turning, she couldn't fall asleep. Annoyed, she grabbed her phone to see what time it was and groaned when she saw it was 2 in the morning.

Shawn whipped the blanket off her and went downstairs to the kitchen. Lyla had gotten Shawn into tea and she was hoping a cup would help her nerves enough to get some sleep. She had bought herself a kettle a few months before, so she grabbed it now to fill it with water and set it on the stove.

She sat on one of the stools in her kitchen to wait for the water to get hot. She was rubbing her temples when she heard the sound of a motorcycle out front. Shawn groaned, not wanting to have to assure Tig, again, that she was okay.

She rose from the stool and walked over to the front window. Her heart lept into her throat when she saw Juice getting off his Dyna. He walked over to the front step and sat down. He didn't know what he was doing there. He knew he should have just gone back to the clubhouse, but it sounded too depressing to him. This was the only place he had that really felt like home to him.

Juice felt like shit. He had shot at people before, but never knew if he had ever actually hit anyone. Now, there was no doubt in his mind. He shot a man, in the back no less, and killed him. He had thought it would be easy. He had told himself that they deserved it and that it was for the club, but the guilt had overcome in the moment the man's body hit the floor anyways.

Juice sat on the step as Shawn watched him. Wondering why he was there, wondering why he didn't just knock on the door, and wondering if she should open the door even without him knocking. Suddenly Juice stood, like he was going to leave, but bounced on his feet instead. It was like he knew he shouldn't be there, but couldn't bring himself to leave. Shawn walked over to the front door and put her hand on the doorknob. She took a deep breath and opened the door.