Spark in the Dark

Chapter 181

"This might be the last time you get to come visit," she said. "Next time you're here you could be taking her home."

"I know!" Shawn said excitedly. She lifted Ally out of the bassinet and held her for awhile. They rocked and Shawn talked to her about going home. When it was time, Shawn fed her and then changed her first diaper. She decided to walk around with her for a bit when her phone began to ring. Shawn pulled it out of her back pocket and saw Lyla's name. She answered, assuming Lyla had some question about Diosa and the conversation would be quick.

"Hey, Ly."

"Hey," she replied, sounding uneasy. "I'm at Diosa and Juice is here looking for you."

"Oh. Tell him I'm at St. Thomas with Ally."

"Yeah, I think you should probably come here instead. He's pretty upset. I think he might be high."

"Shit," Shawn said and then felt bad for swearing while holding her daughter. "I'll come get him."

"I'll have him go lay down in a room while we wait for you."

"Thanks, Lyla."

Shawn put the phone back in her pocket and returned Ally to her bassinet. She kissed the baby's hands over and over as she said goodbye. She waved to the nurse on her way out and tried to hurry to Diosa. She walked in the front door and saw Lyla and Gemma at the bar.

"Hey," Gemma said. "Unser with the boys?"

"Nope. I figured they're old enough to hang out on their own," Shawn said sarcastically, but sounded distracted. She looked at Lyla. "Where is he?"

"Room 4," Lyla told her and watched Shawn walk away. Gemma looked annoyed. "You know she's kidding."

"Yeah, sarcastic little shit," Gemma said and smirked.

Shawn walked down the hall until she reached the right room. She opened the door and looked inside, but Juice wasn't in bed. Stepping into the room, she noticed him in the bathroom with his back to her. He had taken his shirt off and was leaning over the sink. She dropped her purse on a table and walked up to him.

"Babe?" Shawn said to get his attention as she slid her hands up his bare back. He turned around to look at her. "Hey. You okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fi-," Juice started, but cut himself off. He wasn't fine and lying to Shawn would get him no where. "I don't know."

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"We helped Clay escape yesterday. This cop started shooting at us and hit Bobby. He was going to keep on shooting so I-" Juice hesitated and he became increasingly upset. "I ran him over."

Juice started to sink down onto the floor. Shawn knelt with him. He leaned towards her so he could rest his head against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him and held him.

"Jax killed Clay," he told her next.

"I know. Nero told me."

"I should have said no. We voted on it. It had to be unanimous. I should have said no."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I thought if I did, then Jax would never let me go. He'd keep me here as punishment. I let someone get murdered for my own selfish reasons."

"This isn't your fault, Juice," Shawn told him sympathetically. "Clay brought this on himself."

"You know he thanked me? Right before he figured out what was going on, he came over and thanked me for being such a good brother. He said he was going to miss me," Juice told her. He sat up so he could look her in the eyes. "I can't do it anymore. I can't be this person."