Spark in the Dark

Chapter 194

"Just like he said," he began, "You need something, you call."

"I know. We will," Juice assured him and turned back to give him a hug. When they stepped away, Happy carried his stuff over and put it inside his locker. He left the garage as Juice's phone buzzed, telling him he had a text. He opened it to see it was from Shawn.

Kids are all in the car. We're on our way.

Juice sent a quick text back and looked over to where Tig had been silently watching. Juice could tell he was waiting for Shawn to show up.

"She'll be here soon," he told him.

"Better tell him," Tig replied. Juice nodded and entered the office.

"Shawn's on her way with the boys," he told Jax, who nodded and stood from the desk.

"Close the door," Jax told and moved over to the couch as Juice did as he requested. "Sit with me for a second."

Juice sat down. For some reason, he felt nervous. He leaned over so his arms rested on top of his legs and he stared at his hands.

"I'm having a lawyer sell my house and Gemma's. The money will go to you guys. Help you out while you're getting settled."

"Okay," he nodded. He raised his head to look Jax in the eye. "I'm going to take care of them, Jax."

Jax smiled a small, sad smile and nodded. "When I first met you, if someone had told me I'd one day be willingly handing over my kids to you for you to raise, I would have never believed it."

Juice chuckled and shook his head. "I don't blame you."

"You've really changed since then. You were just a goofy kid. Now, you've really come into your own. I like to think the club is to thank for that, but I think we both know that's not true."

Juice nodded. His relationship with Shawn had changed him, in a good way. There was something about having a real family, something Juice had so desperately craved most of his life, that made his perspective on life change.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," Jax said. "I need my boys to grow up hating the thought of me. Shawn will struggle with that. I need you to be there for her. Let her know it's okay. Remind her it was what I wanted."

"Why, though?"

"As much as Shawn doesn't want to see it, I've become a monster. You may not want to admit it, but you know it's true. I need to keep them from becoming me. The cycle needs to end," he explained. Juice watched as Jax's eyes began to turn red. "Let Shawn know it's okay if they start to call her Mommy. I don't think Tara would have minded. She'd want them to be comfortable with Shawn like that. And, if one day, my sons look at you and call you Daddy-"

"Jax, I would never-"

"It's okay," he assured him. "Really. It is. You're going to be more of a father to them than I ever was. And I need you-"

Jax stopped himself as he became more emotional. Juice couldn't help but start to cry, too."

"I need you to love my boys like they're your own," he finished, his voice breaking.

"I will, man. I will," Juice said and stood. Jax followed and they hugged. Juice saw Shawn's car pulled into the lot through the office window over Jax's shoulder. "They're here."

Jax and Juice separated and they both took a moment to compose themselves. They stepped out of the office to see Shawn getting all three kids out of the car with the help of Tig, who had left the garage as soon as she had pulled in.

"So," Tig began to Shawn as he held Ally's carrier, "I guess this is it."

"You make it sound like you're never seeing us again," Shawn told him as she unbuckled Thomas's car seat harness. She pulled him from his car seat and moved to the side so Abel, who had been sitting in the middle between the two car seats, could get out.

"You ever planning on coming back to visit?" Tig asked in between baby talking Ally.

"Not sure Jax wants us to."

"Then how am I wrong?"

"You can visit us, too," she pointed out.

"We're going to be pretty busy around here for awhile," Tig said.

Shawn felt a lump form in her throat. "We'll see each other, again. And we can call each other all the time."

"I know, I know. Just not going to be the same without you around here, though, Shawnie."

Shawn nodded and blinked a few times. She didn't want to cry now, not in front of the kids. She noticed Juice and Jax headed their way. Abel ran for Jax, leaping into his arms.

"I wish I could give you some last minute advice, but you know I'm no good at that shit," Tig told her.

"It's okay, Dad," Shawn said. "I was scared before, but now? I think I got this."

"I know you do," he replied and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Love you, baby."

"Love you, too."

"I'm going to take a minute with her," Tig said and motioned over his shoulder with his thumb. Shawn nodded and watched as he carried Ally away.

She turned back to Jax and Juice as they got closer. Jax was now carrying Abel. He set the boy down in front of Shawn and knelt down to talk to him.

"Be good for you Aunt Shawn, okay? She's Daddy's very best friend. I know I told you before it was Uncle Opie, but I was wrong. It's her. And you're Uncle Juice. What they say, goes."

"Okay," Abel agreed. Jax leaned in and hugged him. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, son," Jax said and kissed Abel's cheek. He stood and reached for Thomas. Shawn handed him over. Jax kissed the baby next as he whispered to him. "I love you."

"C'mon, Abel, let's get strapped into the car, okay?" Juice said, sensing Jax wanted to have a moment with Shawn.

"You guys are going to be okay," Jax told her. "You're a good mom, Shawn."

"Thanks," she said quietly as she looked down. "I was trying to think of something to say to you before we left, but now I can't think of a damn thing."

"You don't need to say anything," he told her. Juice came over and offered to take Thomas. Jax sadly handed him over for Juice to place in the car.

"If you see him," Shawn said, her eyes filling with tears as her voice broke, "tell Ope I said hi."

Jax's face crumbled and he nodded before stepping forward to hold her tightly. They cried together for a few seconds, but pulled away to compose themselves, again. Juice had been silently waiting behind Jax. As Shawn looked over to him, he held out her sunglasses. She nodded in thanks as she took them and put them on to hide her red eyes from the kids.

Tig was coming back with Ally. Shawn walked over to take her carrier. Tig shook his head. "I got it."

He put Ally in the car and gave Shawn one more hug and kiss before she and Juice got into the car. He started the car and began to pull out of the space. Shawn looked through the window at Jax. He nodded to her before turning to head back to the garage.

Shawn was grateful for the sunglasses as her eyes became teary, again. Juice reached for her hand and brought it to his lips to lay a kiss on her knuckles. "I love you."

"I know," Shawn nodded. "I love you, too."

Juice smirked and nodded back. "I know."