Toss a Coin ? THE WITCHER ONESHOTS

"Jaskier. For the love of all things beautiful-" You started to speak, pulling at your hair.

Jaskier squeezed a small remark between your words. "That's me."

"-Please, shut the fuck up." You finished.

"(Y/N)! Language! There are children present!"

You shot him a glare, "What children!?"

He pointed towards your horses, covering the ears of the one he rode. "They are quite sensitive creatures-"

"I'm serious, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I will come over there and choke the shit out of you."

"Please do." He purred, winking at you as you growled in frustration. "Why are you so tense this morning?"

You could feel the headache brewing in your skull and the taunt feeling of your muscles. "I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of nights." You grumbled.

"Well, I don't recommend wishing on a djinn." Jaskier stated. "An old buddy of mine just really needed good sex to put him out. Perhaps-"

"I literally do not want to hear whatever is about to come from your mouth."

Jaskier quickly stopped his sentence, changing the direction to something a bit more pleasant for you. "Uh, maybe some alcohol? Get right drunk and pass out?"

"Tried that."

"Count sheep?"

"Sheep, horses, goats. Nothin."

Jaskier sighed, running out of ideas. "We should be close to the city, maybe a real bed will help."

You bobbed your head in response, a yawn rising from your lungs. As if your day couldn't get any worse, a heavy rain started to fall.

"Oh, SON OF A-" Your string of angry curses were drowned out by rolling thunder.

***

The sound of hooves clopping were drowned out by the rain as you raced into the city. You and Jaskier were soaked to the bone. Mud speckled your legs, flung up from the horses. You griped the enter ride, cursing anything and everything. When you finally arrived at the inn, you hopped off your horse, stabled it, and stomped into the building. Jaskier followed at a safe distance behind you.

Once you paid for your room, you trudged up the stairs and kicked open the door. Peeling off your clothes, you dried your hair and tried to clean up your skin. Jaskier entered the room, his face turning crimson at your appearance. His cool, flirty demeanor vanished as he babbled in the doorway, trying to produce a comprehensible sentence.

"Close the damn door." You snapped, covering yourself with your hands.

"Right. Right, the door. The door. Yes. Closing it." Jaskier sputtered, quickly shutting himself in the room with you.

"You act like you haven't seen a naked body." You shrugged, slipping into fresh clothes. Jaskier didn't reply, he simply stood to the side, his eyes lingering on anything except for you. "What are your plans for the evening?"

Once he was sure you were dressed, he turned towards you. "Figure I'll go sing a few tunes, try to round up a bit of coin. What about you?"

You pointed your finger towards the bed, ripping back the sheets without a word as you slipped into it.

"Right. Well, uh..." Jaskier shuffled around. "Sleep well, I'll see you in a bit." He grabbed his instrument, then quickly left the room, leaving you to yourself.

...

......

..........

"I can't fucking sleep." You growled in annoyance, rising from the bed and pulling on your shoes. You muttered the entire way down the stairs, all the way to the bar, where you sat and ordered the strongest drink they had on hand.

The bar maiden produced a vile concoction of alcohol that you drowned quickly. You continued buying rounds for yourself as you watched Jaskier sing and dance.

As the night passed on, your frown deepened as your eyes became increasingly more bloodshot. The dark circles under your eyes made you look like someone had punched you in each socket. You rested your chin on your arm, a tankard handle gripped firmly in your fist.

Jaskier finally finished singing for the night, making his way over to you with pockets full of coin. The look you gave him sent a chill down his spine.

"Oh my, (Y/N). You need a nap, you look awful." He noted, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face.

"Fuckin' tell me about it." You whined. You then stood, grabbing Jaskier's wrist as you stumbled towards the stairs. "Let's go."

"What are you doing?" He asked as you continued to drag him towards your room. You remained silent until you were in the room, the door closed and locked behind you. You then pushed Jaskier onto the bed before you started to undress. He frantically shook his hands, urging you to wait. "Hold on, what are you doing!?"

You shrugged, unbuttoning your trousers. "Bout to try good sex. You said it worked for your friend."

"(Y/N), you're intoxicated! I can't and I won't!" He replied, standing from the mattress and maneuvering around you.

"I just want sleep, Jask." You stated. "Please? If it makes you feel better......"

He waited for you to continue as you took a seat on the bed. "What is it?"

"Hm? Oh... I'd still sleep with you. If I weren't insmoxidated."

"Intoxicated?"

"Whatever."

Jaskier sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'd feel like I were taking advantage of you, and I won't do it."

You nodded slowly, accepting his answer. "Will you, uh.. Stay with me? Hm?"

"Sure, of course."

Jaskier made sure you were comfortable before he sat on the bed next to you.

"Lay with me." You requested, arms outstretched to him. He moved awkwardly, unsure of what he should do. He ended up laying next to you, his arms wrapped around you while you rested your head on his chest. "This nice..."

"It is." He mumbled, rubbing small circles on your back. For the first time in several days, you were able to relax. A smile snuck across Jaskier's lips as he heard a soft snore come from you, realizing that you had finally gone to sleep. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Sleep well, (Y/N)."

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(A/N)

Awe, funny and cute. That's what I love about writing Jaskier!

-moss