It's Complicated

"What is it?" I ask with a raised brow. "Nick was totally out of line saying those things in front of everyone like that, I understand. But I fear that if I don't tell you everything now I'll never get the chance to tell you again."

"Jason you're stating to freak me out" I say. He takes a seat next to me and holds both my hands in his. "Alex I love you, I really do and I was going to tell you this after I took you out again but because of Nick I guess I never will get the chance" he said.

Another heart attack, two in one day could definitely not be good for my health. "So could you please give me the opportunity of getting to know you better?" He asked hopefully.

First Nick now Jason too, Cami was right. She was right I over looked all the signs, but I've only thought of the two of them as friends and nothing else. "You don't even know what love is" I found myself replying to him, "what?" He asked me confused. He stood up from his seat next to me.

"You heard me Jason, you don't know what love is. You're just intrigued by me, you don't know me enough to call it love" I stood up and walked back into the ballroom, leaving Jason standing by the fountain alone.

"Alex you okay? What happened you just ran off?" Nick asked coming towards me, "sorry Nick I just need a minute" I said holding my hand up to him and trying to side step him. "Okay but Alex I want you to know that I meant every word I said up there. I do love you" he said.

"Like I told Jason, you don't love me. You guys don't even know me, I gotta go get my head around things" I said and walked away. As I was leaving the ballroom Cami saw me, "Wow how about that huh?" She asked pointing back at the stage that Nick was just on.

I didn't say anything to her and worry flashed in her eyes, "hey are you okay?" She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Nick and Jason just declared their undying love for me" I bluntly said, "Wow" Cami's eyes widened and she took a step back from the shock.

"I guess you were right, I was only looking for a friendship and they wanted something more. I kind of feel bad for letting them have feelings for me, and I didn't specify what I wanted from them" I sighed. "Honey it's not your fault nothing is, you can't control how a person feels about you. However my question is, do you feel the same way about them?" Her voice taking on a serious tone.

"I..." I wanted to say no, that I only liked them as friends. But both of them were fun to be around and they were there when I needed them. I cared deeply for both of them but I just didn't know how far those feelings where going.

"I'm gonna get out of here, I need some air and time to think. I'm sorry for leaving you on new years eve like this" I said apologetically to her, "it's fine babe seriously I'll be okay. I'll just get a couple drinks and face time Romeo for the count down then head to my room. You take all the time you need" she brushed me off.

"Thanks" I hugged her then turned and was on my way, I went up to my room and the first thing I did was get a bottle of vodka from the mini fridge. I downed half the bottle in one go then slammed it down on the table with a sigh.

I pulled my shoes off and put my hair up into a messy bun, before taking the rest of the alcohol out of the fridge and sitting on the terrace.

A few minutes more to midnight and I had finished almost all the bottles of alcohol from the fridge. I was nursing the last bottle and it was already halfway, I was a little more then tipsy at this point.

I couldn't wrap my head around how I had gotten myself into this situation. I had one guy miles away who I wanted to be with, but who had himself to set straight first. Then there's Nick the billionaire playboy who's mind I somehow managed to change into having a family and settling down. And don't even get me started on Jason the party animal who's willing to get to know me more.

My thoughts halted as I heard people shouting the count down.

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"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" They cheered as fireworks went off. "Happy new year" I said to myself as I leaned against the railing and downed the rest of the alcohol I had.

My phone rang behind me, I turned and looked at the caller ID. I was a bit disappointed to see it was just Cami calling, most probably to wish me well for the new year. I watched my phone ring then the call get sent to voice mail, a few seconds later Nick's name popped up on my phone. I did the same thing to Nick's call that I did to Cami's, just watched it ring. A few minutes later and Jason's name popped up.

At that point I switched my phone off and sat back down on the chair and watched the fireworks.