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*Erin's POV*

"So, how is it being back?" Kim sat in front of me at the table in the Coffeeshop.
"Why's everyone talking to me, like nothing like this has ever happened? I mean, I'm not the first officer that got abducted. Jay got last year, as you might remember." I answered her.
"Sorry, didn't mean it like that." Kim took a sip of coffee.
"No... I'm sorry... your right... it is different than before, especially yet, while Jay isn't there." I sighed, Jay needed to stay home little longer till his gunshot wound was healed.
"Well... enough from my life, how is it going with you and Ruzek?" I had enough of thinking about my life.
"Ouh, everything is perfect. Lately we've been thinking about having kids... but you know how it is, when you and your boyfriend, sorry fiancé." Kim chuckled.
"Are both cops... I mean, I would love to have a kid with Adam, and I think so do you and Jay. But wouldn't it be unfair for the kid to be alone all day, never knowing, if we'll come back? I really don't know if I want to do that to my kid..." Kim was somewhere in her thoughts.
"I've never talked to Jay about kids... I don't even know, if he wants kids, and if he wants kids, if he wants them with me... I mean, I'm a former drug addict." I sighed.
"As you just said 'former'... you pass that time, Erin."
After we talked a little longer Kim had to go and so did I, because I didn't want to leave Jay the whole night home alone.

*Jay's POV*

I was laying in bed, as I heard Erin's key in the keyhole.
She didn't put the light on, in case I was already asleep.
It took about ten minutes, till I heard her coming into the bed room and then she layed next to me.
"Hey." I rolled over and gave her a kiss.
"I'm so sorry, did I wake you up?" She looked really sorry.
"Wasn't asleep, wanted to wait for you." She smiled at me.
"Wanted to wait for me to do what exactly?" She chuckled.
I didn't say anything more, just pulled her covers back and rolled on top of her, but then I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.
I rolled back on my side.
"I'm sorry." And with that words she went out of the bedroom.
It has been some weeks now, till she god kidnapped, and since than we hadn't slept with each other.
I wanted to give her the time she needed, but I felt like she would have been ready today... Guess I was wrong.
"Erin?" I waited some minutes till I followed her to check on her.
I found here standing in front of the window and starring out in the cold and dark night.
She didn't moved, but I knew that she noticed me.
"Can I come over to you or should I stay here, may call Natalie or Kim?" I still wasn't sure what to do, when she had moments like this.
She held out her hand in my direction.
I walked behind her and placed my arms around her, trying to giving her some comfort.
"I'm so sorry Jay... I really thought it would work this time." The tears came up again.
"Hey, look at me, Erin." I put my hand under her chin so she had to lift her head.
"I didn't propose to you, because I wanted to call someone my fiancé, I did it, because I want to spent the rest of my life with you. And now, here we are, together. That's everything that matters right now.
I'm here for you, you can talk to me, about everything, always. And if you want me to step back, I can do that for you. So what do you need right now?" I hugged her tighter.
"Just be with me and don't stop holding me, because you're the only thing that stops me from shaking right now." She leaned her head on my chest.