Shockwave: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Bumblebee: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Soundwave: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel.
Skywarp: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Thundercracker: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
~~
Shockwave: Are we really going to let Bumblebee keep Soundwave?
Skywarp: We kept Thundercracker.
~~
Shockwave: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Bumblebee: 'Prettiest Smile'
Soundwave: 'Nicest Personality'
Skywarp: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Thundercracker: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
~~
Shockwave: You're a loose cannon, Bumblebee.
Bumblebee: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Soundwave: I think you play by your own rules.
Skywarp: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.
Shockwave: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Bumblebee: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Thundercracker is a loose cannon.
Thundercracker: *smashes a chair*
~~
Shockwave: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Bumblebee: Rude.
Soundwave: That's fair.
Skywarp: Not again.
Thundercracker: Are you going to want this back?
~~
Shockwave: Good morning.
Bumblebee: Good morning.
Soundwave: Good morning.
Skywarp: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Thundercracker: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
~~
Shockwave: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Bumblebee: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Soundwave: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Skywarp: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Thundercracker: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
~~
Thundercracker: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Skywarp will and will not eat.
Bumblebee: Grass? Yes!
Thundercracker: Moss? Yes!!
Bumblebee: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Thundercracker: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Bumblebee: Worms? Sometimes!
Thundercracker: Rocks? Usually nah.
Bumblebee: Twigs? Usually!
Thundercracker: Shockwave's cooking? Inconclusive!
Soundwave: How did you... test this?
Thundercracker: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.
Soundwave: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Shockwave: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
~~
Thundercracker: What does 'take out' mean?
Bumblebee: Food.
Skywarp: Dating
Soundwave: Murder
Shockwave: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.
~~
Skywarp: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Soundwave: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Bumblebee: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Thundercracker: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Shockwave: My moral code, is that you?
Skywarp:
Skywarp: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
~~
Skywarp: I'm an idiot.
Soundwave:
Bumblebee:
Thundercracker:
Shockwave:
Skywarp:
Soundwave: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
~~
Skywarp: You kidnapped Bumblebee? That's illegal!
Soundwave: But Skywarp, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Bumblebee, or destroying our dreams?
Skywarp: Kidnapping Bumblebee, Soundwave!!!
Thundercracker: Skywarp, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!
Skywarp: What, to kidnap people?!?!
Thundercracker: To work together!
Skywarp: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!
Shockwave: Skywarp, we all agreed a celebrity is a not a people.
~~
Skywarp: Nothing in life is free.
Soundwave: Love is free!
Bumblebee: Adventure is free.
Thundercracker: Knowledge is free.
Shockwave: Everything is free if you take it without paying.
~~
Skywarp: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...
Thundercracker: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!
Shockwave: In your pantry!
Skywarp: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?
Thundercracker: Is your friend here?
Skywarp, motioning to Soundwave: Yeah.
Thundercracker, to Soundwave: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(
Bumblebee: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-
Bumblebee: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!
Bumblebee: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN
Everyone else: No.
Bumblebee, to Thundercracker and Shockwave: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS
Thundercracker: YAAAAAAAAY!
Shockwave: THE PRESTIGE!
~~
Skywarp: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Bumblebee: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Soundwave: Socks are Feetie Heaties
Thundercracker: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Bumblebee: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Soundwave: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Thundercracker: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Shockwave, annoyed: You are disappointments
~~
Thundercracker: Anyone d-
Bumblebee: Depressed?
Shockwave: Drained?
Starscream: Dumb?
Soundwave: Disliked?
Thundercracker: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
~~
Thundercracker: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Bumblebee: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Thundercracker: Three of us saw it, Bumblebee. How do you explain that?
Bumblebee: *points at Shockwave* Sleep deprivation. *points at Starscream* Paranoia. *points at Soundwave* Delusional personality disorder.
~~
Thundercracker: What's something you guys are better than Bumblebee at?
Shockwave: Mario Kart.
Starscream: Yeah, video games.
Soundwave: Emotional vulnerability.
~~
Thundercracker: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Bumblebee: ... Your what?
Thundercracker: My friends.
Shockwave: Are they saying "friends"?
Starscream: I think they're being sarcastic.
Soundwave: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Thundercracker! All of your friends are in this room.
Thundercracker: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
~~
Thundercracker: Favorite horror movie?
Bumblebee: It
Shockwave: Saw
Starscream: Annabelle
Soundwave: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics
~~
Shockwave: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Bumblebee: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Soundwave: More or less, I guess...
Starscream: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
Skywarp: I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Thundercracker: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!
~~
Shockwave: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Bumblebee: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Soundwave: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
Starscream: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Shockwave: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
~~
Shockwave: Bumblebee isn't answering their phone
Soundwave: I'll call
Shockwave: Starscream and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Bumblebee: Hello?
~~
Unicron, about Bumblebee: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.
Soundwave: Are we stealing them?
Primus: New or used?
Unicron: Wonderful responses, both of you.
~~
Unicron: You know those things will kill you, right?
Bumblebee, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Soundwave, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Primus: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
~~
Soundwave: Why is Unicron so sad?
Bumblebee: They took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
Soundwave: And...?
Bumblebee: They got Primus.
~~
Unicron: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Bumblebee: What?
Soundwave: That you're a child.
Primus: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
~~
Soundwave, banging on the door: Bumblebee! Open up!
Bumblebee: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Primus: No, they meant-
Unicron: Let them finish.
~~
Soundwave: Bumblebee, I'm sad.
Bumblebee: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Primus: Unicron, I'm sad.
Unicron, nodding: mood.
~~
Soundwave: *Screams*
Bumblebee: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Primus: Should we do something?
Unicron: No, I want to see who wins.