It was Christmas time in Point Place, and the gang had all gathered in the Formans' basement to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas on TV. The song carried throughout the room as the character stole the toys, making Fez smile.
"Man," Donna breathed, leaning forward on the couch to get a better look at the screen, "The grinch has a big butt."
"Yes. Nothing says Christmas like a big, green, Grinch ass," Fez agreed.
Liz sighed, reaching over to grab an ornament out of the box Hyde was holding. The two of them, along with Eric, decided to put up the family's old, silver Christmas tree in the shower. They had only put the lights on so far, but it was already happily glinting.
"Hold the ladder for me?" She asked Hyde.
He nodded, placing his free hand on the cold metal, making sure it wouldn't fall over as she started up.
"Eric, Liz, what are you guys doing Christmas Eve?" Kelso asked, turning to look back at them.
Eric glanced up from his spot on the floor, where he was rummaging through another box full of old ornaments. "Well, our parents are having the same, lame Christmas party they have every year. All the adults. 'Hey, neighbor, is that mistletoe?'" He mocked in an older voice before viciously miming a make out session.
"Alright. How does that look?" Liz asked, finally resting her ornament on a high branch.
Hyde turned, glancing right at her butt due to the height of the ladder. A smirk grew on his face as he continued to admire. "It looks great, Lizzie."
Liz glanced down, finally realizing he wasn't even looking at the tree. Despite it, she couldn't help but bite back a smile. "Hyde, the ornaments are up here."
"Oh, yeah." Hyde smirked even more as he finally looked where she was pointing. "It looks great."
She rolled her eyes, slightly slapping his arm as she descended down the ladder.
"Look at my sister's ass one more time, and I'll hurt you," Eric warned with a glare.
"Fine," Hyde huffed before going over to sit in his chair.
"Oh, I just love Christmas," Jackie gushed, unable to stop smiling. "It's all about good tidings and cheer. And shopping."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus was going for," Hyde deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Hey, I give, too," she defended herself. "Every year, my friends and I deliver gift baskets to the unfortunate."
Donna turned to shoot her a look. "I think you mean less fortunate."
"Okay, whatever. Bums." Jackie shook her head before turning back to the TV.
Kitty came strolling down the stairs, immediately noticing what they were watching. "Oh, what are you guys doing watching cartoons? Holiday Inn is on." She raced over to change the channel, smiling and starting to sing along to Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" that started to come through. After dancing around a little, she grabbed onto Eric's shoulder. "Eric, come on, help me get the decorations."
"Sure, Mom," he agreed, getting up to follow her into the storage room.
With his absence, Liz took his spot on the back of the couch.
"You know what my favorite Christmas gift of all time is?" Kelso asked, perking up. "Lite Brite. It's fun making things with Lite Brite."
Liz chuckled. "Kelso, I don't think I've played with one of those things since I was a kid."
"Well... it's still fun," he sulked, sinking back down into his seat.
"Man, my favorite gift is cash. That way you can buy whatever you want," Hyde said with a smirk before glancing across the room. "You know what I mean, Lizzie?"
"Uh-huh." She shrugged absentmindedly, eyes glued to the TV.
"Like, let's just say somebody gave you, uh... six dollars and some change, right? You know, to buy a present. What would you get?" He asked.
"Well, Hyde, it doesn't matter how much the gift costs, as long as it's personal and sentimental," she pointed out, finally shooting him a small smile.
"You know what's both personal and sentimental?" Jackie butted in. She turned to Kelso before answering, "Diamonds."
There was a sudden crash and screams from the back room, making everyone whip around. Kitty and Eric raced out of the room before she bolted up the steps without a word.
Liz's eyes grew wide as she placed a hand over her racing heart. "Eric, what the hell??"
"We were going through a box of Christmas decorations and we found the Christmas rat," he explained, pointing back towards the room.
The thought had everyone jumping out of their seat, either taking cover on the couch or just hurrying out the door.
❁
Laurie had just returned from school for winter break, and was sitting at the kitchen table with her parents. The twins, still annoyed with her arrival, kept a safe distance from her by standing near the counter. Not even Kitty's famous hot chocolate and cookies could convince them to settle down.
"So, um, Laurie," Kitty started, almost too scared to ask, "Seeing anyone special at college?"
"Oh, I like to date around," she replied, somehow with an innocent smile.
"Slut!" The twins coughed together.
Laurie turned to glare, but it was Red's steely gaze that had them hold up their hands.
"Well, bless you," Kitty said to no one in particular.
Eric was quick to take it. "Thanks, Mom. Hey, uh, Dad? Instead of being at your party this year, Liz and I were thinking of throwing a party in the basement. I mean, I think we're old enough."
Kitty laughed at the thought.
Red, however, merely shrugged as he shoved another cookie into his mouth. "That's fine."
"Fine??" Kitty and Laurie echoed together.
"Well, every year the two just mope around here like it's the end of the world, anyway."
Eric grinned, giving his twin a subtle high five. "Alright. Thanks, Dad."
"Yeah, thanks, Daddy." Liz walked over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"So, now who's gonna sing the high parts on 'The Little Drummer Boy'?" Kitty asked, getting up to discard her dirty plate in the sink.
Laurie felt an evil smile crawl back onto her lips. "Well, traditionally, it's the man who can't grow facial hair."
Eric was easily able to brush her insult off. "Hey, um, Dad. One more thing about the party. Um... I need some money."
"Alright, Eric," Red surprisingly agreed, getting up to grab his wallet. "I want you to pick out this year's tree. And, uh, whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party."
"Really?" Liz breathed in disbelief, already reaching for the money herself.
Eric, however, still didn't like the deal. "Okay, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree—"
"Haggling is part of being an adult," Red cut him off, handing the money over. "Here's forty dollars."
"I want fifty," Eric tried anyway.
"Knock it off!"
"The forty is great!" Liz was quick to snatch bills from their father's hand before he could change his mind. "Thank you, Daddy. We really appreciate it."
"You're welcome sweetheart." Red pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before pointing at Eric. "Pick out a good one."
The twins let out internal sighs of relief when he left out the back door. They started to turn around, Liz handing the money over to Eric, when their mother stopped them in their tracks.
"Okay, fine. Throw your party," she finally conceded. "But can I at least make you some punch and cookies?"
Liz couldn't help but smile back at her. "Sure!"
"No," Eric was quick to interject, despite the look his twin shot at him. "Mom, no."
"Just punch?" Kitty offered.
"No, Mom," Eric hissed, brushing past her to head to the basement.
"Well, you can't have a Christmas party without punch! That's just insanity!" She called after him.
Liz stepped up to her, placing a hand on both her shoulders to calm her down. With a sweet smile, she whispered, "You can make us punch, Mom. It's okay."
❁
"Whoa..." Liz breathed as she stepped outside. Eric, Kelso, and Hyde had just piled out of the Vista Cruiser, which was holding up the biggest Christmas tree she had ever seen. "That thing is huge! Where'd you buy that?"
"Oh, y'know... just that little Christmas tree farm a few miles down the road," Eric lied, busying himself with cutting the ropes off the tree. He hoped she wouldn't suspect anything if she could barely see or hear him.
Liz turned to Hyde, who stood next to her, watching the others haggle with the tree. "I hope you still have money left for the party after that monster."
"Oh, don't worry. We have plenty of money left." Hyde shot her a smirk.
"Yeah!" Kelso cried as they finally got it onto the ground. "Now we got forty bucks for beer!"
Liz's mouth fell open as she realized what they had done. Eric and Hyde immediately shot up, eyes darting back and forth between her and Kelso.
"Kelso!" Eric hissed.
"What?" He asked before noticing that Liz was standing there. "Oh..."
She rushed over next to her brother. "You stole it??"
"I would hardly say we stole it, Lizzie," Hyde cut in. "I mean, it was just growing on the side of the road. It's not like it belonged to anyone."
Liz crossed her arms across her chest, shooting him a look. He merely shot her a sheepish smile.
"Look, Liz, please don't tell Mom and Dad," Eric begged.
"Oh, please. I'm not a snitch." She almost seemed offended, but then concern brimmed her eyes. "Though, you could seriously get in so much trouble for this."
"It's fine. No one saw us," Eric assured her, starting to pick up the tree with the help of Kelso.
Kelso was back to grinning, knowing they were in the clear. "You know what else we should do? Not get any presents!"
Liz and Hyde laughed as the tree fell over, taking Kelso down with it. Despite just landing on the hard concrete, he sprung back up to help again.
"No presents!" He continued. "That way, we got more money for beer!"
"Okay! Shut up!" Eric hissed, noticing Kitty and Midge by the door.
It wasn't long before the two women came walking out, mouths falling wide open at the marvel before them.
"Oh, Eric. Oh, this is the most beautiful tree I think we have ever had. Oh, and it's just, it's so fresh!" Kitty admired, touching a few of the branches. She then jumped back when a bird flew out, squawking at them all.
Liz sighed as her mother and Midge went rushing back into the house. "Oh, God. There better not be anything else lingering in that tree. That rat scare the other day was bad enough."
"Yeah," Eric agreed, glancing up at it. "Kelso, maybe we should check this thing one more time."
Just then, Laurie came strolling out of the house, a smug grin on her face as she took in the size of the tree. "Oh, you did not get this from a lot. You stole it."
"I haggled," Eric responded, staring down at her.
"With who? Smokey the Bear?" Laurie pulled a face. "You stole it."
"How the hell would you know?" Liz defended her twin, crossing her arms.
Laurie merely scoffed. "Oh, please, Liz. I know you're smarter than that."
"Well, I mean, you're one to talk," Eric challenged, "You're flunking out of college."
The smugness immediately melted from Laurie's face. "How'd you know?"
Eric perked up at his discovery. "I didn't."
"Ha! Who's all high and mighty now?" Liz spat with a mischievous smile.
"Shut up!" Her sister hissed.
"Shut up," Eric repeated.
"You shut up!"
"You shut up!"
The three of them grew silent, all staring at each other in an unspoken agreement.
Slowly, Laurie started to back away. "Okay."
"Okay," the twins agreed together, holding up their hands.
And with a slight nod, Laurie took off back into the house.
❁
The next day, the twins were down in the basement, getting it ready for the party. Hyde and Fez were also over, but excused themselves to go upstairs for drinks. In the kitchen, they were met with Jackie and Kelso having a conversation, a group of cheerleaders standing nearby.
"Michael, I want you to drive me and my friends around Christmas Eve," Jackie said to him.
His eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"
"To distribute gift baskets to the less fortunate bums," Jackie repeated her idea for probably the fifth time that week.
"Okay," Kelso finally agreed. "But we better be back in time for the party."
"Yes. Perhaps you lovely ladies would like to join us?" Fez offered, smiling over at Jackie's friends.
The one shook her head. "I don't think so."
"Well... we are supposed to be helping the less fortunate," the next one pointed out.
"Okay," the last one finally agreed.
Despite the insult, Fez grinned.
Across the kitchen, Hyde hid over in the corner. He noticed Jackie sorting through the fridge, and while he would've preferred to talk to Donna, figured he was running out of options. Making sure to keep his voice low, he called out, "Hey, Jackie. C'mere."
She spun around, surprised to hear her name even uttered out of his mouth. "Why?"
"Just come here," he hissed, gesturing her over.
"Hyde, if you wanna make out with me, the answer's probably no," she said as she walked over.
He shot her a look, but let it drop. "Yeah, okay. Look, Jackie, I know this girl, right? And I wanna get her a Christmas present."
"Oh my God, it's Liz!" She exclaimed with a slight laugh.
Hyde tensed up, but shook his head. "It's not Lizzie."
"Okay, it's not Liz," she said, seemingly unconvinced. "So, how much do you have to spend?"
"Six dollars."
Jackie's mouth fell open. "You don't deserve a girl like Liz for six dollars!"
"I'm not trying to get Lizzie," Hyde hissed, glancing towards the open basement door.
"Good, 'cause you won't for six dollars." She shook her head.
Hyde drew his lips together before setting down his soda. Grabbing onto her shoulders, he spun her around and guided her towards the door. "You know what? Thanks a lot, never mind, bye-bye."
"Ooh! We'll see you tomorrow, babes!" Fez called out as Jackie left with her friends and Kelso. Once he and Hyde were alone, he walked over to him. "May I ask you a question?"
"Sure." Hyde shrugged.
Fez smiled thinly. "What the hell are you doing?"
"What?" He asked innocently.
"Buying Liz a gift. You know she's Eric's sister."
"I know, man. But, what does it matter? I've known her my whole life, and—"
Fez held up his finger. "Still, you are Eric's best friend, and Liz is his sister. In my country, I would string you from the tallest tree."
"We're not in your country, Fez," Hyde pointed out.
"Right." Fez grinned, smacking his friend's arm. "So, good luck with Liz."
❁
Christmas Eve had finally arrived, and Liz walked down the basement steps with a plate full of cookies her mom had made. She almost hurled, though, when she saw Eric and Donna practically sucking faces over by the tree.
"Hey, hey, hey!" She called down, making them jump apart. "Please do that some other time. Preferably when I'm not around."
Eric watched with narrowed eyes as she went over to the table, but didn't get the chance to say anything when the back door opened.
"Hey, Eric." Kelso grinned, holding a case full of beer. Hyde was two steps behind him, a paper bag in his grasp. "Where do we put the beer?"
Liz shot them both a look, waving for them to shut up and hide it as Kitty and Laurie started down the steps. Fortunately, they got the hint and scampered off.
"Okay, now, here you go. Punch and cookies, just like I promised," Kitty said, walking over to place another dozen cookies on the table.
Eric scowled. "No, Mom! Mom!"
"Eric!" Laurie cut him off, shooting him a pointed look. She waltzed over with the punch bowl, handing it over to Kitty. "Mom made it for you guys. The least you could do is drink a lot of it!"
"You know, you three," Kitty started, pulling her kids into a tight hug, "You are just the best Christmas present a mother could have."
Laurie reached her hands around to slap the top of Eric and Liz's heads, who in turn swatted right back. Kitty frowned as her moment was ruined, pulling herself out before it could get worse.
Kelso walked out of the back room, noticing Laurie's presence. In a not so smooth action, he raced over, jumped over the couch, only to stumble into the table. Even though the punch and cookies almost flew off, he shoved his hands into his pockets to pretend it didn't even happen. "Hello, Laurie."
"Kelso," she responded.
"So... um... cool." Was all he could manage, making himself chuckle.
Fez entered through the back door, holding a bag full of presents. He shot Liz, Eric, and Donna a wide smile, greeting, "Merry Christmas." He then started over to the table, noticing the goodies. "Ooh, punch."
"Yeah. Can I pour you some?" Laurie offered.
"No, thank you." Fez declined. "But, if you would like, you can bend over and put my gifts under the tree."
"Whoa, gifts?" Kelso jumped at the sight. "No, no, I thought we said no gifts."
Liz shook her head. "No, Kelso, you said no gifts."
"What's Christmas without gifts?" Donna asked.
"Yeah, man. Where's your heart?" Hyde added, sitting up onto the freezer.
Kelso threw his hands up into the air. "Nobody tells me anything around here! Now I gotta go get something for Jackie. She'll kill me!"
"Hey, cheer up. Have some punch." Laurie held out a glass with a smile.
"I don't want any punch! I gotta get a gift for Jackie!" Kelso started to walk away, but realized he had an opportunity. Turning back around, he added, "Who I'm breaking up with."
Laurie smirked and nodded, watching as Kelso took off out the door. Once he was gone, she walked over to her baby sister, holding out her glass. "Punch?"
Liz merely shrugged. "Sure. What the hell?"
❁
The party was starting to slow down, and Liz was seated all by herself on the couch. After three glasses of punch and about a dozen cookies, she started to feel kind of lightheaded. Fortunately, sitting still and enjoying her quiet time seemed to make it better.
Hyde glanced over from his conversation with Eric, noticing her all alone. Figuring it was his best opportunity, he excused himself to grab his present for her and start over. "Hey, Lizzie," he greeted, settling down into his chair. "I got you something. It's no big deal, but, y'know, Christmas."
"Aww, Hyde," Liz cooed, turning the newspaper wrapped present in her hands. With a flushing face, she shot him a hesitant smile. "Suddenly you're getting bashful?"
He merely shrugged, watching as she started to unwrap it.
Her mouth fell open at what was underneath. "Oh, wow. This is great!"
"Hey, what is it?" Eric asked, suddenly peaking over her shoulder.
"It's a picture of me and Hyde." She held it out for her brother to see, an uncontrollable smile tugging at her lips.
"Yeah." Hyde smirked. "It's me and you in fifth grade. I've had it in my drawer forever, so I just framed it."
"Awwwww." Liz's eyes started to well up with tears. "That is so sweet, Hyde!"
"Yeah, that is so sweet," Eric repeated, shooting his friend a wary look.
Liz suddenly gasped, moving the picture closer. "Oh my God! You can see my training bra through my shirt!"
Hyde couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah. I remember that training bra."
"Hyde. Hyde." Eric's tone grew more stern, his look becoming pointed.
"Oh, sorry, man. I'm just joking around. I mean, it's nothing, really—"
"It's not nothing," Liz cut him off, her face and eyes only getting more pink. "This is so thoughtful. This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever given me. Seriously, Hyde. I love it so much!" She leaned forward to press a quick kiss to his cheek.
Hyde initially smiled, feeling his face warm as well, but it started to fade when Liz pulled away, giggling uncontrollably. There was also something about the way her breath smelled...
"Lizzie, are you drunk?" He asked.
"Pshhh, Hyde!" She started to rock back and forth with laughter. "Come on, you know I don't drink!"
"What the hell?" Eric scowled, reaching out to place a hand on her forehead. "Liz, did you have any beer?"
"Eric." She tried to shoot him a serious look, but she only started to crack up again. "Beer is nasty. Beer is gross. I don't drink that shit! I only had one... two... or wait, maybe three cups of punch!"
Before either could react, a stern voice called down from the steps. "Eric. Elizabeth."
Everyone in the basement immediately stopped talking, turning to watch Red walk down the steps. "Before you explain the beer, maybe you can tell me why there are two state troopers in the living room, confiscating our Christmas tree?"
"Daddy!" Liz's face lit up as he entered her vision. "Hi, Daddy! Oh my gosh, look at what Hyde got me!" She held up the frame, but the picture wasn't even pointed his way. "Look, look! Isn't it so cute? Isn't he just the sweetest??"
Eric was quick to stand, moving himself in front of his very obvious drunk sister. "Oh, that, um... funny story, and a true story. You're gonna laugh—"
"Get to the point!" Red scolded.
"We cut down a tree off the side of the interstate." The words tumbled out of Eric's mouth.
"Shh! Eric, we're not supposed to tell Dad that!" Liz hushed him, tugging on his hand.
"Well, that's just great, Eric," Red said with a sigh. "Now, care to explain to me why Elizabeth is currently drunk?"
Liz gasped. "Daddy, I'm not drunk! I refuse to drink underage!" Once the words left her mouth, she only started to giggle again.
"Yeah, I actually can't explain that one." Eric pointed down at his sister.
Red merely shook his head. "Now, the party's over, you're grounded, and I want what's left of my forty bucks."
Kelso shamefully walked up behind Red, making Eric gesture to him. "Kelso, give it to him."
"Oh, no." Red rolled his eyes, turning to look at him.
"Yeah, I sort of spent it on Jackie's gift," Kelso admitted.
"Oh, Michael! My hot rollers!" Jackie cried, obviously drunk as well, rushing over to pull him into a hug. "You got in trouble for me, Michael? Oh, I love you, Michael!"
"Oh, God bless us, everyone!" One of the cheerleaders started to cry, hugging her friends, which made them all cry.
Liz's bottom lip trembled as she violently nodded. "He really does!"
"And Hyde loves Liz!" Jackie pointed at him.
"What??" Red and Eric gasped together.
Hyde was quick to jump out of his seat, racing to the other side of the room. "Whoa! She's crazy, man!"
"Hydeeee?" Liz dragged out his name, glancing over at him with a cute pout. "You love me? Awww, that's so sweet!"
"Eric, what the hell?" Red spat. "Why have these girls been drinking??"
"Dad, I swear. All they had was Mom's punch." Eric gestured to the almost empty bowl.
Red started over, picking it up and taking a sip from the ladle. He immediately scowled at the taste. "Lousy with hooch!"
"You see? You see, Red?" Hyde jabbed a finger in Jackie's direction. "She's drunk, man. That's drunk talk! False!"
"Come on, Jackie. I'll take you and the 'sob sisters' home," Red grunted, walking towards the steps. "Eric, the rest of that beer goes in my refrigerator. Donna, take my daughter up to her room before joining your father upstairs. Steven, you help Eric clean up. And, Kelso... go home!"
"Eric, do something! Your father's taking my women!" Fez cried before racing up after them.
Donna sighed before starting over to Liz. "Come on, Liz. Let's get you upstairs."
"I don't need help, thank you very much." Liz scowled, trying to swat her friend's hands away.
Eric drew his lips together. "Liz, you're drunk."
For the first time all night, the words finally seemed to sink in with her. She blinked a few times as Donna helped her to her wobbly feet. "Huh. Is that why I feel like I gotta hurl?"
"Shit," Donna cursed, hurrying her up the stairs.
❁
Christmas Day was a nightmare for Liz. Not only was she bedridden with a hangover that had her head throbbing, but she had to listen to her grandmother blame her mother for it all morning. Laurie obviously thought it was the funniest thing ever, which Eric figured out was because she laced the punch with booze.
If Liz hadn't felt so sick, she would've beaten her older sister into the ground.
It wasn't until late afternoon that her bedroom phone rang, pulling her mind from a sleepy haze. She was tempted to let it ring, but eventually decided against it, as the sound was too annoying to her sensitive ears.
Finally getting the phone into her grasp, she managed to croak out, "Hello?"
"Hey, Lizzie." It was Hyde. "Merry Christmas!"
"Hyde..." she breathed, managing to sit up slightly, "Hey. Merry Christmas."
"How are you feeling? Wait, is this a bad time?" He asked.
"No, no. Not at all. I've been in bed all day."
"Damn. That's a shame. I'm sorry, Lizzie. I wish I would've noticed before you kept drinking that punch."
"It's alright, Hyde. Don't blame yourself. I mean, hey, at least I finally drank, right?" She tried to laugh, but it only made her head hurt.
Liz could hear him chuckle on the other end. "Yeah. Well, I was hoping we'd have more fun for your first time." There was a longer than usual pause before he asked, "I mean, do you even remember anything from last night?"
"No." She groaned, glancing across her room at her dresser. There sat the framed picture of her and Hyde from the fifth grade, angled right at her. The sight brought a sad smile to her face. "Eric told me you gave me that picture of us and that I almost cried over it."
"Yeah. Yeah, you almost did." The smirk was evident in Hyde's voice.
"I'm sorry I don't remember you giving it to me. But, I really love it, Hyde. I have it on my dresser. It's perfect."
"I'm glad you like it, Lizzie." There was another long pause, one that Liz would've thought more of if she hadn't felt like she was fighting for her life. "Did, uh... Forman tell you anything else about last night?"
Liz shrugged, even though he couldn't see her. "Not really. Just that you gave me the picture and that I almost threw up on Donna's shoes. Why? Was I super embarrassing?"
"No, no," Hyde was quick to say. "I've definitely seen worse."
"Good." She let out a sigh of relief.
"Well..." he drew in a breath, "I guess I'll let you go. I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"Thanks, Hyde." Liz smiled. "I really appreciate it. And thanks again for the picture."
"Yeah. Merry Christmas, Lizzie."