How Do I Find My Way Back To You? -minizerk AU- (sequel)

Josh's P.O.V.

Minibog: oh my god, I thought you would never talk to me again and I was so scared never do that again, I love you so much

Josh: I think we need to break up

Minibog: what?! Why?! What did I do wrong?! Is it because I am in America?!? I'll leave America and come here to you

Josh: Simon don't you dare do that, school is more important than I am

Minibog: Josh I can't live without you, you don't understand. Josh please I'll do anything. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Josh: I'm sorry I just think it is for the best. We need some space from one another. I'll talk to you every once in a while, but I just think that this is what is needed.

Minibog: no it's really not, can we meet up?

Josh: no I can't do that I'll break down in tears and then I'll feel horrible and I'll see your beautiful blue eyes and then i won't be able to break up with you. No Simon, this is literally for the best. Can we both be honest in the fact that we aren't happy without one another, so why make this so painful. Once things get better we will be together I promise

Minibog: Josh I don't want to break up, this is only our first fight its nothing okay we are going to be okay I know we are. Please don't do this. Please let me just talk to you in person. You haven't gave me a real reason, please Josh.

My heart was breaking in two. How could I do this to him? His grandpa just died. I'll just make this worse with the news about Cal.

Josh: yeah, sure we can meet up

I know what is going to happen. In an instant I am going to look in those eyes and love him and not be able to break up with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I finally got to the hill that Simon wanted to meet at. I saw him sitting underneath the tree. My heart broke into a million pieces. My body felt numb and cold, I was confused and scared of what to do.

He got up as I walked over. Everything about him is beautiful. They way he moves, the way he walks, the way his eyes shine in the moonlight.

We hugged and I was overwhelmed with warmth and love. How am I suppose to do this? How do I just let go? I don't want to, but I have to.

We both sat down and I grabbed his hand as we looked into each other's eyes. Every time I look into his eyes I feel alive for once. This has been the most active and healthiest time of my life since Simon has left.

"Simon, I can't do this. I can't live a life without you. When you are gone I'm not myself. Cal and I have been getting really close, and-and..." I let go of his hand as I felt myself start to break down. I wasn't able to express myself.

I was so confused and lost.

"Josh, it's okay, we can make it through this." He said as I looked up at him and I knew I had to tell him.

"Cal kissed me while I was asleep, I didn't realize it was him so I kissed back thinking it was you. I didn't mean to, it just happened and once I saw it was him I pulled away and demanded him to get out. I'm so sorry Simon, I know I am a horrible human." I said breaking down crying as he just grabbed my hand.

"It's fine, why did he kiss you though?" He said the words I was regretting most.

"I-I, he is in love with me and I think that I have feelings for him-" I said before Simon pulled away his hand from mine.

"You like him?!?! After everything we've been through you like him. Fine do you want the fucking truth, I think that I like my new roommate back in America. Apparently this relationship means nothing to you. Have fun fucking Cal in the anus, I'll be having fun with Lewis." Simon yelled as he walked away.

"Simon....." I said in a faint voice.

Everything broke down, why was I so stupid why did I tell him that, I love him, not Cal. I fucked everything up and for what? So that I could maybe date Cal? I don't want to, I want to be with Simon. I have to show him that.

Why do I do this to myself? I fuck up everything and for nothing. How could I fuck things up with Simon? I had finally got the chance and I fucked it up. I lost it all for nothing and it's all over.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I ran back home which was the hugest mistake of my life. It started to rain and my body went numb. I felt lost and out of control of my own body. I felt my organs start to almost collapse. I could barely feel anything and I couldn't hear a single thing. My body was collapsing and I could do nothing but lie in the middle of the road. I didn't have my phone, I had nothing to help me. Maybe it was time for me to go. I already ruined my life and I've just been a pain to everyone that I love. Goodbye world, goodbye my friends.

Most of all, goodbye Simon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I just wanted to say that this is hurting me as much as you. This is my fudging OTP, so I am crying on the inside as much as you guys.

Also I got my hair dyed

I think it looks fudging amazing and I am so happy. That is kind of the reason why I wasn't able to upload this chapter yesterday, so instead I am going to post another one today (see what I did there, see ;))

Okay I am going to shut up with my stupid jokes, I also wanted to ask if you guys thought that this:

Was like good idea for my covers. So they would all have like black and white flowers with like a little bit of color. I don't know, I like it and it gives it a certain style. I know it isn't the fanciest and I wish I knew how to edit it better, but I think it is better than my other covers, so yeah.

Anyway that is all, I'll be upload the next chapter in a little, love you all, bye!