Forever and Always (Sciles)

59: It Hurts Like Hell

I continue to cry into my pillow, which is now very damp, but I don't care. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, but the image of Stiles doesn't leave my mind, as much as I want it to just vanish. Why does this hurt so much? Why does each second hurt more than the last? Why did this have to happen? I really thought that we were going to last, even with the whole arranged marriage situation. I think I still even had the idea that Stiles and I would get married one day. That dream never really faded away completely, even when Thalassa and Moselle came along. I still can't believe that Stiles had missed our anniversary date because he realized that he was completely besotted with Moselle and even had sex with her! At least I know where I stand now. However, my heart still feels like it has been ripped out of my chest and has been torn to pieces and stomped all over. Actually, there's a part of me that feels like it is missing... Or even dead. I'm guessing that is because I don't have my soul mate by my side anymore. I mean, Stiles will always be my soul mate, whether I like it or not (which is kind of a given by the name of the term), but I guess that I was never Stiles' soul mate. Or true love. He is mine, though. Stiles has stolen a piece of me and I don't think I'll ever be getting it back. Do I even want it back? I just want this pain to stop, but I know that it won't be fading anytime soon. And I know that the hurt and heartache will never completely leave me.

I just wish that Stiles and I could have been together for the rest of our lives, gotten married, adopted kids and so on. That's the life I wanted, yet I guess it's not meant to be. I hope that Stiles can have that perfect happy life with Moselle. I can see them getting married, having kids, ruling both of their kingdoms together and so on. I hiccup a little as the tears continue well up in my eyes and dampen my pillow even more. I was never right for a Prince of Atlantia. I can't really offer the kingdom anything, but Moselle can. Perhaps this is for the best. I might be in agony and feel lost, alone and hopeless, but at least everyone else can be happy. At least the two underwater kingdoms can thrive and prosper, the relationships between the two of them strengthening because of Stiles and Moselle's love. Ugh, it makes me sick to think about those two in love. I already want to throw up. I know that is just the jealous and protective boyfriend part of me speaking, but still. I wish that Stiles and I could have had our happily ever after.

After a couple more hours of crying and sobbing, it starts to calm down a little bit and my breathing slows, my body relaxes and I feel exhausted. My sobs turn into cries which then turn into whimpers, but the tears continue to drip down my cheeks and onto the very wet pillow. Slowly, but surely, I eventually fall asleep, still whimpering and crying with tears running down my cheeks.

Kara POV

I wake up early the next morning, my phone's alarm blaring annoyingly loud in my ear. I groan in annoyance and quickly sit up, grab my phone and turn the alarm off. I blink rapidly, trying to get rid of any remaining sleep. I glance around my room in a daze, feeling disorientated. Oh, that's right. I have school today. That's why I have an alarm. I groan in annoyance and flop back down onto the bed. I do not have the motivation or energy to go to school today. I just want to lie here in bed all day, without a worry in the world. That would be nice. However, I know I should get up. I have to go to school and I really don't want to be late. I'm not sure if Stiles would leave without me or not if I was still in bed by the time that we are supposed to leave and I would really rather not walk all the way to school.

I sigh in annoyance as I sit back up and slowly get out of bed. I walk around the room, collecting all my school things and stuff them into a bag. I then walk over to my drawers to choose my outfit for the day. I decide on some black jeans and a pink woollen sweater. It's quite a light sweater, meant for spring and autumn, not keeping in too much warmth, but it's not exactly a tank top either. I get dressed quickly, slip on some shoes and give my hair a brush, making sure that all the knots are out. I glance at myself in the mirror and nod in satisfaction. I then head downstairs towards the kitchen, where I make a bowl of cereal. Once I've prepared my breakfast, I walk into the dining room and sit down at the table and begin eating. I notice that Stiles is already in here too, fully dressed for the day. He's got that stupid dreamy and dazed look in his eyes again. I roll my eyes and try to ignore it. However, it becomes hard to ignore Stiles as he keeps sighing heavily to himself. I glance up at him and glare at him in annoyance.