Please Don't Go

     I didn't sleep a wink that night. I thought of Cole, his mother's words, and James. I felt so guilty on how I treated him. He's been nothing but kind this entire time and I was a total jerk.

     I didn't think of how he's feeling. He lost his best friend and he's only thought of me. I sobbed. I was a horrible person.

TWO WEEKS LATER

     After so many sleepless nights, I finally decided that I would go through Coles things. I couldn't put it off forever. I didn't think I would be able to do all of it, so I decided I would at least do his room today.

     I brought a few boxes, one for keep, donate, and discard. I hesitated when I reached the door.

     Can I really do this? I sighed.

     I put the key in the lock and opened the door. I immediately smell Cole. I wished I could bottle up the smell and take it with me. I turned to close the door and saw a picture of us on the back of the door.

     That wasn't there before. I placed my hand on the picture.

     "I miss you." I whispered.

     I tore myself from the picture and headed for his room. I just wanted to leave, but Cole, for some odd reason, wanted me to go through his things.

     Surprisingly, everything in his room was tidy. What was I even supposed to do with his stuff? I didn't want to get rid of any of it, but I couldn't keep all of it either. I figured I would start with his closet.

     I knew I would keep a bunch of his shirts. I didn't have any use in pants or shoes, so I put those in the donate box. Cole had a habit of keeping shirts even if they had holes in them. I smiled. I thought of the time when I tore one of the holes at his chest open.

     I wasn't thinking because he was shirtless after that. Of course, I blushed instantly at the sight of his abs. I didn't do it again, as much as I wanted to. I put most of the shirts with holes in the discard box. I kept a few of his all time favorites.

     Cole was a legit hoarder. He had so much junk. I filled up an entire box full of garbage. I didn't want to throw anything out, but I also had to be practical. After I finished his closet, I moved onto his dresser, I would get his nightstand after his dresser was done.

     It was mostly his undergarments. Most of that dresser went in the donate box. All of the pictures on top of the dresser, went into my keep box. There was no way I was getting rid of any pictures.

     I stared at the picture of our first date. He took me to the amusement park. That was the same day he threw up on some poor dudes shoes. Cole wanted our first date to be special. He didn't want to do the normal, dinner and a movie.

     That date was most definitely far from normal. I started giggling and soon ended up crying. The perfect things in life always disappear. Why did he have to go? I was jarred from my thoughts when my phone rang. It was James.

     I quickly wiped my tears.

     "Hello?" I managed

     "Where on earth are you? I've been pounding on your door for the past ten minutes."

     Crap! I forgot to tell James I was going through Coles stuff today!

     I planned on going alone anyways, but I meant to tell James so he wouldn't worry.

     "Please tell me you aren't doing something bad are you?"

     "No James. I'm just going through Coles room. I wanted to get his bedroom done at least."