Sebastian's Perspective
Today has been filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. Don't get me wrong, everyday has been downright awful so far, but I just knew this one was going to be the worst.
It's the first Friday of the school year. This weekend has typically been an exciting one for me, but not this year. I used to love this day because there is always a great party and there is Quidditch try outs, but it is overshadowed by the pain I feel in my heart. Y/n still has not spoken to me since our conversation after Potions class. Why would she? I was not there for her when she needed me most.
I have most of my classes with her again this year, but she has not been to many of them. She has shown up every so often, but she has missed more classes than she has attended. I cannot help but worry about her. I spent a lot of time the past few days pacing in front of the hospital wing thinking she will turn up in there, but she never does. If she is not sick, then what is wrong?
I know I started to annoy my friends, especially Natty and Poppy, always asking if they could tell me anything about what is going on with Y/n but I was met with the same answer every time - "It is not my place to tell. I am sorry."
I went to Imelda to see if I could find out something. She is Y/n's roommate, so she will know exactly what is going on. I just needed to know that Y/n was ok. Imelda could see how desperate I was for an answer and I guess she decided to tell me something out of pity.
"She is fine Sebastian. She is not sick, just dealing with some things."
Things? The answer she gave me did not help at all, but at least I know she is healthy. I just wish I knew what things meant. More than anything, I wanted to be there for her. No, I needed to be there for her, but that was proving to be near impossible.
Our friends safeguarded her like she was the bloody queen. I could not get near her. She did not sit at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. She would always bounce in between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table. Poppy, Natty, Samantha, and Imelda would always keep her back to me at meals and surround her like her own personal security. For Merlin's sake! Those girls are my friends too! Why are they doing this to me?
One of them was always sitting near Y/n in class one the rare occasion she did show up. The growing distance between Y/n and I was quickly caught on by the other students.
"Did you see Y/n give Sebastian the cold shoulder?" Arthur Plummey whispers.
"Oh man, she is properly biffed. Guess they are broken up" Lenora Everleigh whispers back.
Fucking Hufflepuffs!
"Wait did you say they broke up? So she is single now?" Eric Northcott cuts in.
For fucks sake! Does every guy in Gryffindor have a crush on her?
Hearing people whisper about my relationship with Y/n just added to the torture. At least I have Quidditch try outs and I can take my mind off of all of this and just focus on the game.
Or at least I thought I could.
I stand on the pitch stretching a bit when I notice something that causes the air to leave my lungs. Y/n is coming on to the field! I did not think she was actually going to try out!
I freeze in my position and stare in her direction. I can tell she has been having a lot of long nights. She has tried to cover up the dark circles under her eyes with make up, but you can see the dark color peeking through the cover up. She was so tan just a few days ago, but she looks paler now, like the life has been sucked out of her. I can tell she hasn't been eating either because she is skinner. It is most obvious in her face. The sight breaks my heart. Did I do that?
I turn my head when I feel a hard smack on my shoulder. The last person I wanted to deal with right now. Malfoy.
"Damn Sallow! Looks like you did a number on her. Even I haven't fucked a girl over that hard, but don't you worry, I will fix it" he chuckles in a sinister manner.
I feel that familiar rage build up in me again and I cannot control it. With everything that has happened, how can I control it? I have lost everything, so why try and practice restraint?
I grab him by the collar of his jersey, picking him up off the ground. "How many times do I have to hit you or shove your face into the ground before you get the picture? It will never fucking happen Malfoy! Over my dead body. You try and hell will come down upon you so fast, you will not even have time to squeal for help. I see right through that fucking act you put on. I can see that inside you are just a scared little boy stuck in daddy's shadow."
Imelda comes over and tries to calm me down before the other teams get to the pitch. "Sebastian, please. He is not worth it. You are better than that."
I look out of my peripherals and see Y/n watching us dumbfounded. I instantly feel regret. I was trying to prove that I am growing into a better man for her. A better man would not behave like this.
I lower Alliser down and let go of his collar. He gives me a devious smirk like he has won. I step closer to him and whisper in a harsh tone. "I wouldn't look so happy if I were you. That captain position is open this season because you decided to switch to a Chaser. That was a bad move on your part because I am going for captain now, and when I get it I will make your life a living hell on this team."
I pick up my broom and walk away from him. I take a side of the pitch away from him so I do not have to look at him, but it does make me closer to Y/n and I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
I continue my stretches while the other houses start to filter onto the pitch. I kneel down on the ground and tinker with my broom trying not to look at Y/n while she stretches.
My head finally turns completely to her when I hear a voice calling her name. Weasley, of course.
"Y/n! I have barely seen you. You didn't come to the Three Broomsticks, you don't come to class hardly ever, and you haven't responded to my owls! What is going on with you?"
At least I can take some comfort in the fact that she has not been talking to Weasley. I do not understand her though, she flirts with Garreth in front of me and ignores him when I'm not...
Merlin! I am dense. How did I not notice that in the first place? She thought I was flirting with Nellie, so she flirted with Weasley to make me jealous.
I look back at my broom and smile a bit. Just like Y/n to do such a thing. It worked though, so I must commend the effort.
The tension in my body relaxes a bit when I finally realize she is not actually into Weasley. I can handle them being friends, I actually came to respect Garreth a little bit because he was a good to Y/n. But I cannot handle them together romantically.
I tune out the rest of their conversation and walk over to the rest of the Slytherin team. Madam Kogawa blows the whistle and starts try outs.
They say out Professors do not show a preference to certain houses, but that is utter bull shit. Despite Kogawa having most of her favorite players and students on the Slytherin team, she still holds our house try outs last. Complete rubbish.
Sitting in the bleachers waiting for our turn proved to be more useful than I originally thought. After a house finishes, Kogawa makes the team announcement and they all get to leave. This gave me the opportunity to see how the house looked this year and who exactly was going to be on the team and what position they would be.
The sun was starting to set and it was finally our turn to take the pitch. My mind was so focused on the snitch I did not realize I was walking down to the pitch with Y/n. I finally noticed when lavender started to flood my senses and it brought me crashing back down to reality.
I do not turn to look at her, I merely look out of the side of my eye to see her. Merlin, even when she is tired, she is still breathtaking. I try to keep my focus as we start to take our places on the pitch, but I feel a gentle nudge on my arm.
I turn to see her softly smiling at me. "Can't wait to see the famous Seeker everyone has been talking so much about." She gives me one last smile and walks over to her place.
Am I dreaming? Did that just happen? Not only did she speak to me, but she smiled at me. It wasn't a fake smile, it was a real one. That's it. I am going to show her the famous Seeker then. I want to blow her away.
I climb on my broom with a newfound determination and wait for the whistle. The second I hear it is the second I take off. I speed around the pitch searching high and low for that damn snitch.
It only takes me seconds to spot it and I start to race after it. The other person trying out to be the Seeker notices me rushing towards it and starts to follow me. I noticed this kid when I was stretching. He is a small third year who has barely made it through puberty. He is trailing far behind me and his broom starts to shake a bit. I cannot help but feel a little bad for him.
I slow up a little a bit just to give him a chance to catch up and give him a little bit of thrill.
We race along side each other for a moment until the snitch is just arms length from me. I let him take the lead a bit and try to grab it.
His broom shakes underneath him and he starts to lose balance. He looks at me with sheer panic on his face. Suddenly his broom starts to turn and he hold on for dear life. I move quickly right to his side and wrap my arm around him. I pull him onto my broom and watch as his drops down to the ground.
He holds on to me and I bring my broom down to land. I gently let go of him and dismount the broom.
"Thank you so much. You saved me!" He looks behind me to the rest of the house playing. "Do you think anyone saw that?"
I turn around and look at the others before turning back to him. "They are too busy playing to notice. I think you are safe. You have some pretty good talent, you just need to work on your broom control. I was the same way when I was your age. The best thing to remember is that you control it, not the other way around. You remember that and you will be a Seeker in no time."
He instantly perks up. "Really? That would be awesome. I remember watching you my first year and thinking you were so cool! All Seekers are cool."
"Well I would be happy to teach you anytime."
His face brightens at the idea, "You would really do that? But, shouldn't you be upset with me? I made you lose the snitch."
"That old thing!" I scoff. "That is no big deal. Those come around all the time. I had to make sure you were ok! You are going to take my spot my I graduate, and Slytherins need to have their Seekers in one piece."
"Spoken like a true leader Mister Sallow" Madam Kogawa calls out walking over to the third year and myself. "Why don't you go sit down over on the bleachers Lance and I will have Nurse Blainey make sure you are alright."
"Yes ma'am. Thank you again Sebastian."
I smile watching Lance run over to the stands. Once he sits down I turn my back over to Kogawa.
"I am sorry that I did not catch the snitch ma'am. I know that will effect my position on the the team, but I could not let that poor kid get hurt."
She smiles at me, "It most certainly will effect your position on the team."
She turns from me and blows the whistle to signal the other students to come down. Great, now I won't be captain and Alliser is going to rub it in my face. Or worse, he is going to get captain again and he will rub it in my face even more.
My nerves start to go crazy waiting for Kogawa to make the announcement of who is on the team and what position they are. The last few students land and join the group. I watch Y/n descend and walk over. Much to my surprise, she walks over to stand next to me.
This is definitely a dream.
Kogawa starts to list off the team and their positions. I start to hold my breath hoping that not only I make captain, but that Y/n makes the team.
"Imelda Reyes, Chaser. Alliser Malfoy, Chaser. Y/n Y/l/n, Chaser."
I turn to her and see her face light up. That smile. I have missed seeing that earth shattering smile. That smile gives me a reason to get up every day. I have waited for what feels like ages to see that smile again.
I gently nudge her with my elbow to congratulate her. She turns to me smiling even wider. It is like I could see the life go back into her. Her skin no longer looked pale and her eyes looked so much brighter.
My attention stays on Y/n even though Kogawa is still listing the team. The world around me disappears while our eyes stay locked onto each other. I stare at her with adoration and for the first time in a long time, look is reciprocated.
She quickly breaks the eye contact, leaning in eagerly to listen to Kogawa. Shit! I should probably pay attention too.
"Finally, for our Seeker and your new captain, Sebastian Sallow. You may think not catching the snitch hurt your chances of not being captain, but it was the opposite. You displayed true sportsmanship and proved that you care about your team. It was truly a selfless act and that is what a leader is, selfless." She takes a step away but turns back to me. "Besides you and I both know you could have caught that snitch the second you saw it."
She walks away and we all celebrate. I smile and pat some of my teammates on the back before I find myself standing in front of Y/n again.
Maybe it was force of habit or maybe she meant to do it, but either way I was shocked and so was everyone else around us. Y/n throws her arms around me and hugs me. It took me a second to realize that she was hugging me, but the moment it registered I quickly wrapped my arms around her lifting her up off the ground.
We both laugh while I hold her up in my embrace. I could hear the others whispering, but I did not care. All I cared about was having Y/n in my arms again. I held on to her like my life depended on it. I have been so lost without her touch and now that I feel her again, I never want it to go away.
I place her down and let go of her worried I may be too much. I look around to see that the rest of the students are walking away, leaving Y/n and I standing alone under the night sky.
Looking at her and having the cool crisp night air blow through us makes me feel so alive. I can practically feel my damaged heart start to piece back together before her.
"I saw what you did out there. That was pretty incredible Sebastian."
I missed hearing her say my name like that. The last time she said my name it was said with such venom, I did not know if I was ever going to be able to get it out of my head. But hearing her say my name so warmly, it immediately replaces the memory.
"I was not going to let the poor kid get hurt over a silly little snitch. I think anyone would have done the same in my position."
She smiles wide, "No, not everyone would, but you did."
I cannot believe we are talking to each other like this. Was this Ominis's doing? Did that cheeky bastard actually fix this? I could bloody kiss him I am so thrilled.
I take the sight of her in. I have not been this close to her in a friendly manner since Feldcroft. I have missed moments like these dearly. I do not know how I went so long without admiring her. She is so beautiful. Everything about her takes my breath away, but the most beautiful thing about her you cannot see, you can just feel it. Y/n has the most beautiful heart. It perfectly matches her.
She looks down at the ground and fiddles with her thumbs in her hand. "S-so are you going to the party tonight?"
I chuckle at her question. "You know me, I am never one to turn down a party."
She looks back at me and her eyes fill with excitement. "I think you got the words mixed up. I think you meant to say trouble" she laughs.
"Ah- yes well that too. Will I see you there?"
"You most certainly will."
"I will make sure we keep the whiskey for you then."
She chuckles at the comment, "So kind of you."
She pats me on the shoulder and turns to walk away. She only makes it a few steps before she turns back to look at me. "See you there then, captain."
I grin like the damn Cheshire Cat at her words and watch her take the Floo Flame. Once she is gone I look up at the stars and smile. I never thought this moment would come, but I feel on top of world again. I have not felt this good since our date last year. I still cannot fully believe that this is real.
I worried endlessly that I had lost Y/n completely. While she is no where close to being mine, the relationship between us is on the mend and that is all that matters to me right now. Just to have her in my life again would make my world start to spin again. I may have lost my family, but I will be damned if I lose her too.
__
I lay on my bed staring at the canopy above me. I can feel the vibrations of the music underneath my feet.
The party has been going on for hours and I have been ready to go for just as long, but something in me is making it difficult to get up. I could not place the feeling. Was it fatigue? Was it sadness? Anger? No. It was none of them.
Y/n is going to be out there. I know why I cannot move now. I am anxious. I am anxious to see Y/n. She has spoken to me today, but I do not know how I should act around her now. I do not want to take it too far and push her away.
This is going to be very different from the last time we were at a party together. I close my eyes and think back to that night.
Her tight bum rolling in a seductively slow speed on my growing erection and her fingers tangling themselves in my sweaty hair. Watching her turn around to face me as she locks eyes with me. Her hooded lids entice me to snake my arm around her waist, pulling her pelvis deeper into my arousal while I grind it against her.
The bulge in my pants grows and I lazily run my hand down my body. I tightly grip my length and think about Y/n in front of me on her knees holding my member in her hand, mouth open.
"Oh fuck" I hiss stroking myself over my trousers.
Her mouth felt so good wrapped around me, her tongue swirling around the tip as she hums in satisfaction on my shaft.
I stroke faster thinking about the smile on her face before swallowed my load.
"Y/n" I moan.
I can feel myself throbbing in desire for her in my hand. I cannot get the sounds of her sweet moans out of my head as my fingers plunged into her slick opening.
Fuck this. I am cannot hold in this desire. I sit up and unbutton my pants. I pull my trousers and boxers down a bit and take myself in my hand.
I stroke myself thinking about all the encounters we had. I think about her sweetness as I lapped her up. I remember her knees trembling while my tongue circled the sensitive bud in between her thighs.
She was so wet for me. Just for me. All for me.
"Sebastian!"
I quickly sit up and pull my pillow over my lap to hide my erection from the unexpected visitor. Of fucking course someone had to come in at the worst time possible. I was just about to finish too.
Frustration takes over and I whip my head over to the door ready to yell at whoever disturbed me.
I relax, "Ominis."
"What are you still doing in here? You said you would be out hours ago" my friend slurs.
It is good to see Ominis cutting loose. It is such a rare sight to behold, I always treasure it when it does happen. He smiles more and he actually finds my jokes funny when he has had a few drinks. I smile at my tipsy friend.
"I will be out in a moment. Just give me a minute."
Ominis tries to stand firmly in his place, but he stumbles a bit. He catches himself and crosses his arms. He stands confidently in front of the door and does not move. Well so much for finishing.
"Calm down Ominis" I pull up my pants discreetly and button them before standing up. "You are going to burst a blood vessel. You win, I am coming."
Not the coming I was hoping for.
He smiles at me and I place my arm around his shoulder to help him walk out of the room. We proceed down the hallway and make it to the common room.
The room is packed. It is not just Slytherins in here. I scan the room studying which other Houses are in attendance. I see Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and a surprising amount of Gryffindors.
I see my group of friends standing by the makeshift bar a few prefects put together. I notice Garreth Weasley is with the group, which did not surprise me that much, but seeing Eric Northcott stand beside him is a what I find truly shocking. Who the fuck let him in here?
"Y/n please get down! You are going to fall" a sweet voice yells.
I see Poppy on the edge of my group of friends looking up. I look back at all of my friends and I notice they are looking up shocked. The only one who does not look shocked is Eric, and he is just grinning like a damn idiot.
My eyes follow theirs and I see what they are looking at. Y/n is on a table that is behind the bar and she is dancing quite proactively. She has a bottle of whiskey in her hand and she cheers as she rolls her hips to the music.
The arousal that I tucked into my waistband twitches at the memory her dancing brings.
Fuck! Relax Sebastian.
I grab Ominis and I push my through the sea of students to my friends trying to wrangle Y/n. I hand Ominis over to Andrew and Natty and stand next to Poppy.
"How much has she drank?" I ask.
"Oh there you are! She has drank enough for both of us. She has been asking about you though" Poppy says sweetly.
She has been asking for me? She wants to see me. I try to hide my giddiness from Poppy's words. I just smile at Poppy and turn to Y/n.
I look up at her dancing. Merlin, she looks perfect. She is wearing tight leather pants and a deep blue corset as a top. The corset shows her cleavage and perfectly extenuates her tight waist. Her body is incredibly fit and it drives me absolutely mad.
My eyes stay on her chest for too long, but her breasts look so good in that damn corset. The heart and emerald around her neck catches my eyes. I stop focusing on her cleavage and I hyper focus on the necklace. It is not tucked away, it is on display for all to see.
She looks like herself again. She looks happy and full of life. She doesn't have a care in the world. Nothing is holding her back anymore. You do not see the weight of Ranrok, Rockwood, and ancient magic holding her back. She is free, she is just herself.
I extend my hand out to her and call out. "What do I have to do to get you off the table Y/n?"
She stops rocking her hips and looks down from the table. She stands there and smiles warmly at me. "S-seb... Sebastian!" Y/n slurs in excitement.
She stumbles a bit from standing still and I hold both of my arms out preparing myself to catch her. She catches herself and stands back up straight. "Why do you want me to come down? I thought you liked watching me dance" she flirts.
She is properly out of sorts. I would love to flirt back with her, fuck I would love to do more than flirt. I want to pull her off the table and feel her body against mine again. I want to feel her roll her hips against my crotch again. But I cannot do all of that. She just started talking to me again, and I do not want to push it too far.
"You do have great moves. Why don't you come down here and teach me some dance moves?"
She takes my hand and jumps down. The jump must have been further than she thought because she was not ready when her feet hit the ground. She loses her balance and her knees buckle a bit. I wrap my arms quickly around her waist to keep her from falling. Her fingers are tightly wrapped around my shirt. Her eyes come up to mine.
She smiles at me and I can see her cheeks start to redden. She looks angelic. I love having her this close to me in such a way. I wrap my arms around her tighter pulling her into me more. "So I heard, you were asking for me. How can I be of service to you?"
The red spreads from her cheeks to all over her face. She turns her head and grabs a bottle of whiskey from the bar behind us. She hands it to me. "Well I was just wondering why you were not guarding the whiskey like you told me you were."
I take the bottle and take a swig. She is doing this teasing flirtatious tone and it is killing me. I decide to drop my arm that is wrapped around her waist and I give her some space before I lose my self control. "Ah- well I am here now, aren't I?"
She looks around at the bar like she is looking for something and I start to worry that she is looking for someone else. Maybe she does not want to be here with me right now. Maybe she would rather be with someone else. I could not help but wonder what she is looking for.
"If you are looking for someone Y/n, you can go find them. You do not have to stay here with me."
She whips her head back over to me and looks at me shocked. "What? No! I am not looking for anyone and I am not trying to leave. I was wondering where I could get water. You would think they would have it at the bar."
Thank Merlin! That is a bloody relief. I am so glad she wants to be around me. I grab a glass from the bar and smile at her. "Do not go anywhere. I will get you some water."
She smiles at me in appreciation. I smile back and walk away to go fill the glass in the bathroom.
I smile the entire way to the bathroom. There is an obvious tension, chemistry flowing between us again. I want to keep this momentum going. I want to spend this entire night with her.
After filling the glass, I carefully navigate through the drunk students making sure not to spill a drop. I can finally see her right where I left her, but she is talking to someone now. She is smiling.
I get closer and see the person who she is talking to. I did not need to see his face to know who it is. He has his back to me, but that painfully blonde hair sticks out like a sore thumb. Alliser.
I stand there for a moment and just watch. They seem to be having a normal and civil conversation and that is what worries me. This could be his game. Act charming and interested in her just to get her in his bed. I could not let him do this to her. I could not let him use her. Most of all, I cannot let him take her from me. She is mine, as long as she is still wearing my necklace, she is all mine. That necklace shows that her heart still belongs to me and mine to her.
I hastily walk over to the two of them talking. I stand in front of Alliser and push him back. "Here is your water."
She cocks her brow up at me and looks at Alliser behind me. She gives me a subtle smile and takes the glass. I feel a hand come down on my shoulder with an aggressive force. I partially turn my head to the side knowing it is Alliser. I do not want to give him my full attention.
"Well, well our new fearless leader. Did not see me standing there mate?" Malfoy says sarcastically.
"Must have missed you. Sorry about that" I say back with a snarky tone.
"Well Y/n and I were talking and it was actually quite stimulating. So if you don't mind" he walks around me and to her side.
He stands painfully close to her. Too close to comfort for me. I can tell that Y/n does not know what to do in this moment.
"Y/n how about we go somewhere... more private to speak" he says while smiling at me.
I snap. I cannot let him do this. He is trying to push me. He is trying to get me to hurt him. I don't know what his motive is for that. I may be giving him what he wants, but I do not care.
I get in his face and raise my wand to his neck. "I know what you are trying to do Malfoy. Y/n is not going to be one of the girls you just fuck and treat like trash the next day!"
Y/n puts her hand on top of mine and lowers my wand. "Sebastian! What the hell are you doing?"
"Yeah Sebastian, what did I do wrong? I just wanted to talk to my new teammate" Alliser smirks at me.
"Malfoy, I swear if you keep this attitude up, I will make you regret it! I have shown you three times now that I can over power you. No money can save you from the pain I will cause you. I told you time and time again to stay away from Y/n! I will not let you use her!" I yell.
Y/n grabs my arm and pulls me away. She pulls me outside of the common room. We stand in the stone corridor only lit by the torches on the walls. She looks furious at me.
She tries to stand still, but she is still tipsy. It is hard to take her seriously when she is like this. I lean against the wall and cross my legs in front of me putting my hands in my pockets. I try hard to hide the amusement of her trying to hide her drunkenness. She is angry and I know if I smile she will only get angrier.
"What the hell was that Sebastian?"
"He does not have good intentions Y/n. You have to know that from last year's party. He has made it clear that he does not respect you. He just wants to fuck you!"
"We were just talking! He never made it seem like he wants to fuck me!" Y/n yells at me.
"He has told me multiple times that he is trying to fuck you Y/n! How can you be so naive?" I yell back.
"I am not being naive! It was just a friendly conversation about Quidditch!"
"I cannot believe you are trying to defend him right now! Maybe you do want to fuck him!"
"What are you saying? I am not defending him. I am telling you what was going on. You just had to overreact and assume the worst. Why would you even do that in the first place?"
"Do what? You are the one who pulled me away."
"I pulled you away because you were seconds away from hurting him. Why? Why did you feel the need to step in like that?"
"Because Y/n, I just did ok! Drop it."
"No Sebastian! Tell me why you thought you had to do that."
She is infuriating me and turning me on at the same time and it is causing my body to react without thinking. I do not have self control anymore. My need for her takes over and I do not try and stop myself from what I do next.
I walk towards her. "Because I promised to protect you and I will always protect you. I do not care if you do not care about me. I do not care if you hate me. I will always protect you, with my dying breath." I step closer so her chest is pressed against mine. I pick up my hand and bring it to her throat. I trace my finger down her throat to the necklace resting on her chest. I pick the pendant up in my fingers.
I look at the necklace, but images of Alliser kissing her flash through my mind. My head throbs in pain thinking about him pleasing her in ways that only I should be able to. I feel more anger bubble to the surface.
I clutch the pendant in my hand making a fist. My knuckles turn white from clutching it so hard in my palm.
I finally speak again in a low growl. I didn't mean to speak like this, but I could not get the image of Alliser thrusting into her out of my head. "You are mine Y/n. You are all mine."
Her breath hitches. She looks from my eyes to my lips endlessly. I can feel her heart beating against her chest and it is playing in perfect rhythm with mine.
She bites her bottom lip and gently pulls her hands up to my chest. She rests her palms on my chest and her eyes stay fixated on my lips.
I drop the pendant and lift my hand to her cheek. I cup her cheek in my palm and lean closer. My lips hover over hers, our rigid breaths dance over each other's face.
"Y/n" I whisper softly. I can't fight this anymore. I will pay for the consequences of this later, but I cannot stop this now.
I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck and wrap my other arm around her waist. I finally crash my lips into hers.
I expected her to pull away. I fully expected her to slap me and run off, but to my surprise, she is kissing me back. More than that, she parts her lips for me.
I slide my tongue into her mouth and I'm immediately greeted by her tongue. They tangle together as we deepen our kiss.
I have missed this so much. Her kiss is my sanctuary. I have craved her intimacy for months. I missed her touch, taste, smell, just all of her. I love this woman. She has me completely. My heart is hers forever. I am devoted to her and I will spend my entire life showing her that.
We stumble back towards the wall. I push her against the wall and drop my other hand that is on her cheek and wrap it around her waist.
Our tongues dance together in a perfect tango. She snakes her fingers in my hair. She gently tugs on my hair and I groan in arousal.
"I missed this" I whisper in between kisses.
A soft moan escapes her lips from my words. My lips leave hers and make their way down her neck. I find her sweet spot below her jaw.
I nip and suck at her exposed flesh. "Sebastian" she gasps. "I missed you so much."
Her fingers leave my hair and she digs her nails into my back. Fuck I need her. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. I push her back up against the wall again.
She gasps when her back hits the wall. I worry I hurt her from the force I pushed her back into it. "Did I hurt you?"
"No" she gasps. "Don't stop please."
I bring my lips back to hers and immediately run my tongue over her bottom lip. She parts her lips once again for me. Our kiss is feverish and hungry.
We have starved each other from our touch for so long that we are devouring each other. Fuck I want to rip her clothes off of her. I want to spin her around and pound into her from behind.
My erection is positioned right in between her thighs and I know she can feel it pressing into her. She pulls herself down on my arousal.
"Fuck" I hiss. My lips leave hers and I throw my head into the crook of her neck.
Her legs unwrap around my waist and she lowers herself down to the ground. She holds my hands in hers and looks up at me.
"Do you want to come to my Room of Requirement with me?" She whispers seductively.
I lean down and gently kiss her. That's when it actually hits me. I didn't notice it before because I was so caught up in finally touching her again, but now I notice it. I smell the alcohol and taste it on her lips.
I know if I go back to that room with her, we will do things that she may not remember in the morning or she may regret in the morning. I want her to really want this and be fully here to make this decision.
I place my hand on her cheek and caress it with my thumb. I give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. I place my forehead on hers and whisper.
"I'm sorry Y/n. I can't."