Kian and I are on our way to the river. When I wake up earlier Kian was already waiting for me in the living room. He didn't tell me what time we will go to the river that's why I woke up late.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras syang naghintay. Nag offer din daw si Lolo na ipagising ako pero tumanggi sya.
Nung pagkasakay ko ng kotse na gagamitin namin ay meron ng nakalagay na kung ano ano sa backseat. Such as equipments when grilling, there's also several types of ingredients/foods/snacks and plates, spoon and etc.
He mention earlier na magluluto sya. I won't be taking part of it though. I have no cooking skills whatsoever, my skills are below average. But I can help if he ask me or maybe tulungan ko na. Para ano... may moment kami. Hehehehehe.
"Do you want to eat something else besides the one at the back?" Natigil ako sa pag mumuni-muni nang magsalita ang lalaking nasa drivers seat.
"Hindi na okay na yon." Saad ko sabay tingin sa mga pagkain na nasa likod.
"You sure? Habang malapit tayo sa palengke." Tanong nya ulit na ikinatango ko.
"Yeah." Simpleng sagot ko, tumango naman sya.
You might be wondering why I'm acting quite different. As I mention earlier, naghihintay si Kian kanina sa living room. Nung pagkagising ko kasi ay bumaba ako para kumuha ng tinapay sa baba. Madadaanan ko yung living room papuntang kusina and while coming down Kian saw me.
You might be thinking there's nothing wrong but... there is! My appearance!
Yung mukhang kagigising lang. Wearing pajamas, magulo yung buhok, hindi pa naghihilamos, you know the things na talagang mapagaalaman na bagong gising ka lang talaga. Yung literal na I woke up na get up. Like hindi pa fresh yung mukha.
Imagine, the guy you like seeing you like that is a little bit embarrassing right?
And what's worse is that Kian is unusually quiet today. Usually magsisimula na syang asarin ako but for some unknown reason, tahimik sya.
He's being awfully quiet. Did something happen? Or am I overthinking it?
I look at him at the corner of my eye.
"What are you looking at?" Agad nyang tanong.
I got caught!!!
"Wala, I just noticed you being quiet today." I said in a nonchalant way before looking outside.
"Just... just thinking about something." Sagot nya.
I blink twice in confusion. Maybe work? Or something else? Either way I shouldn't pry. Mukhang ayaw nya din namang sabihin.
"Did you miss my teasing?" Agad nagsalubong yung kilay ko sa sinabi nya.
"Why would I?" I saw from my peripheral vision how his lips curves into a smile.
"I thought you miss it."
Hindi! Period! Hinding hindi!
"Ang ganda mo pala kanina." Napatingin ako sakanya sa sinabi nya.
"..." Nagsimulala nanaman sya. I dont know if he's being genuine or just teasing me. Dapat pala hindi ko na kinwestyon yung pananahimik nya.
"Hindi ko alam na pati pala pajamas at slippers mo ay panda na rin." Hindi sya nakatingin sakin dahil nagdadadrive sya pero kita ko sakanya na parang inaalala nya yung nakita nya kanina.
Yun talaga yung napansin nya???
"From your hair clip down to your fluffy slippers, have panda as a design." Saglit syang tumingin sakin. "It's kind of..."
"Kind of ano??? Sige ituloy mo Kian!"
He laugh at my outburst.
"Do you enjoy getting under my skin all the time?" Naiinis kong tanong.
"Hm? What do you think?" Mas lalong lumawak yung ngiti nya habang sinasabi yon.
"I think you are!" Saad ko bago umirap.
He's being playful again. Tinignan ko sya ng masama at hindi ko tinago para malaman nyang naiinis ako!
"Oh! Your looking at me again." Saad nya habang diretso parin ang tingin. "Is that a sign na gwapo na ko sa paningin mo?"
This guy! He's unbelievable! Saan nya nakuha yung confidence nya? I look at him as if I heard something so absurd.
Oo gwapo sya! But I won't admit it.
"Ang hangin." I look at the widow and act na para bang chinicheck ko yung panahon. "Mukhang babagyo ata."
Narinig ko naman syang tumawa sa sinabi ko. "Just stating facts Athena."
"Mukhang habagat ata." Dagdag ko.
Mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti nya sa sinabi ko.
"Ako lang yung magluluto mamaya, no need to help me." Pagiiba nya.
"Just you?" Tumango sya sa tanong ko habang tinatabi yung sasakyan sa gilid.
"Why? Ayaw mo nang tulong?" Tumingin ako sa labas at napagtantong nandito na kami.
This is the exact place, still the same as ever. From the trees that's been lined up besides the road that's covering what's beyond those shady tree. From the cemented road and to the frogs... I almost flinch when I saw a frog jumping on the road that seems like enjoying it's walk-or rather enjoying jumping.
Nasa loob ka nang sasakyan Blair hindi yan tatalon papunta sayo.
"I heard from Don Alfonso that you almost burn the kitchen when you we're 14 years old." Saad nya bago pinatay yung makina.
I quickly look at him when he utter those words.
Sinabi ni Lolo yon????????
"You were ban from the kitchen after that." He gave me an annoying smile when he turn his head to look at me. "He also said that all you're good at is making things that aren't complicated like sandwiches."
Lolo!!! Why did you tell him that???!!!
I was about to say something to defend myself pero lumabas na sya ng sasakyan bago ko pa man mabuksan yung bibig ko.
He didn't even give me time to explain myself!
Pagtapos nyang bumaba ay umikot sya para pagbuksan ako ng pintuan. Inis ko syang tinignan bago bumaba.
"The oven wasn't functioning well that time." I said as if defending myself.
It's true though, the oven was old so I had a hard time using it. It also have some functions that I wasn't aware of so... that happens. Gusto ko kasing gawan nang apple pie sina Lolo at Lola.
Tumango lang sya habang nakangiti. Binuksan nya yung backseat at yumuko para kunin yung folding table na nandon at yung dalawang folding chair.
I know that look! Hindi sya naniniwala! He don't believe me!
"It's true!"
"Sige paniniwalaan ko yan." He walk ahead while smiling, ear to ear.
Bakit sya nakangiti ng ganyan??? Naalala ko tuloy yung first time naming magkita na halos mapunit na yung labi nya sa kakangiti.
I follow him after picking my bag from the passenger seat and closing the car door.
Hindi na ko nagsalita para i-justify yung sarili ko dahil alam kong hindi sya maniniwala. Sinusundan ko nalang ang bawat paghakbang nya.
I'm annoyed! It feels like i've been wronged! Bakit ba kasi ayaw nyang maniwala?!
I don't know why but sometimes I'm struggling to use some cooking equipments. Parang medyo komplikado syang gamitin para sa akin. I don't know why... i'm smart so dapat hindi ako nahihirapan. May common sense din ako, baka hindi lang talaga para sa akin ang pag luluto. I'll leave that to my future husband.
"Watch your step." He said while walking ahead. "Hindi kita maaalalayan kasi may hawak ako."
Naging maingat naman ako sa paghakbang dahil sa sinabi nya. Medyo mabato kasi yung daanan dito bago makapunta dun sa river.
I was also being cautious incase a frog appears, baka kasi may biglang tumalon na palaka tas dumapo sa akin. Although dumaan lang yung frog last time. But still, better to be safe than sorry.
Nang makalabas kami sa mapunong parte ay bumungad agad sa amin ang magandang ilog.
It's still the same...the water is still like a crystal under the sunlight giving it a sparkly vibe. A few butterflies flying around the scattered flower on the ground. And the wind brushing against my skin was as gentle as the last time I came here.
What a relaxing scenery...
Nilagay ni Kian yung folding table and chair, I think 3 meters away, malapit sa ilog. I walk and head near the river.
Yumuko ako ng konti para tignan yung tubig bago napangiti. The water is clear that you can see how deep it goes.
Yung lalim nya base sa nakikita ko ay hanggang tuhod. Nakikita ko rin yung mga maliliit na isda -baby fish- na banayad yung paglangoy dahil sa linaw at babayad na pagagos ng tubig.
If I can buy have a house on my own in the near future, I want to build a house in this kind of scenery and if better I want to build a house here.
Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti habang papalapit kung nasaan si Kian. My eyes was still in my surroundings.
"You look beautiful when you smile." Narinig kong sabi nya ng makarating ako sa pwesto nya, kung saan nya sinet yung table and chairs.
"Huh?" Napakurap ako sa sinabi nya.
Out of nowhere???
Agad syang umayos nang tayo na para bang gulat din sya sa sinabi nya. Nagiwas sya nang tingin sa akin bago nya tinakpan ang medyo namumula nyang mukha.
"Dapat sa isip ko lang yon." Bulong nya na hindi naman nakatakas sa pandinig ko.
He wasn't suppose to say that??? My heart started beating rapidly because of that. You mean he was thinking about that and wasn't suppose to say it out loud?
He cleared his throat before looking at me.
"I like it when you smile." Lalong kumabog ang dibdib ko sa narinig. How can he say that as if he wasn't being shy just a moment ago.
"Anyway, gutom ka na ba?" Agad nyang tanongp para ibahim yung topic. "May binili akong kakanin kanina... yun nalang muna kainin mo."
Kung kanina kinikilig ako ngayon naman... i'm filled with confusion.
Kakanin? What's that?
"Kakanin?" Naguguluhang kong tanong "What's kakanin?"
"You... you never tried those?" Tanong nya sa akin.
Ano ba yon?
Ahh!
"You mean kakainin? Is it a shorten word?" Tanong ko.
Sumilay naman ang ngiti sa labi nya sa tanong ko. Why did he gave me that expression?
"No it's kakanin, ka-ka-nin." Paguulit nya.
"Is it some sort of snacks? Wait– kakanin, is it a type of rice?" Panghuhula ko. "Or is it some sort of bread?"
"Wait! Is it a fried rice?" Parang naging guessing game nato ahh.
"Fried rice?" He softly chuckled that made me frown. "It can also be a snack yes and also a type of rice, but it's not a fried rice"
"What kind of food is that then?" Naghalo yung inis ko at curiosity habang binibigkas ang tanong na yon.
"Hmm..." Mukhang napaisip pa sya kung pano nya i-de-describe sakin ang sinasabi nyang 'kakanin'. "It can be quite sticky when you eat it. Gawa sya sa malagkit na kanin at gata ng niyog."
Gata ng niyog? Niyog? What's up with those terms? Kahit kay Tianna hindi ko pa narinig yan.
Mukhang napansin nya naman yung pagtataka ko kay nagsalita sya ulit. "Coconut milk"
Napa 'ahh' naman ako.
"It can be a breakfast item or even a snack." His voice sounds amuse while looking at my reactions. "Kukunin ko lang yung mga gagamitin ko. Just wait here."
And when I nod in response he took that as a sign to leave. Naglakad lakad ako saglit. Nang bumalik si Kian. Lumapit ako sakanya na nilalagay yung mga gagamitin nya sa pagluluto. Tumingin sya sa akin saglit bago may kinuha sa isang paper bag at inabot yon sa akin ang isang styrofoam.
"Ano toh?"
Tinignan ko yung binigay nya bago yon binuksan and it was rice. It looks sticky though.
"Kakanin." He continue what he's doing after saying that.
Tinignan ko yung 'kakanin' na binigay nya. I analyze it.
The sticky rice was placed in a type of leaves that I can't quite guess. Medyo oily din syang tignan.
This can be a snack and a breakfast at the same time?
Inabutan nya ko ng fork bago pa man ako ako magsalita para sana mag hingi ng tinidor. I just shrug my shoulder as I try the kakanin.
Oh!
Masarap sya. Too oily nga lang. Pero masarap sya. Umupo ako sa isang upuan na sinet nya kanina. Tahimik ko syang kinakain habang pinapanood kong mag prepare si Kian.
The wind here in the river was kind and gentle. As if the burden I have was being taken by the wind temporarily. And being here with Kian was kind of soothing in its own way. Being with the person you like does make a difference.
After preparing the ingredient he needed, he then started the fire. Naglagay sya ng uling sa pang ihaw atsaka yon sinindihan gamit yung lighter.
Sinimulan nya nang ilagay yung marinated pork isa isa para ihawin. Meron pa syang niluto sa gas stove na sauce habang hinihintay na maluto yung baboy.
Pinapanood ko lang ang bawat galaw nya habang kumakain ng kakanin.
He was moving a lot. Pagkatapos maluto nung sauce, nagsimula naman syang magluto ng ilang side dish. Nang maluto din yung baboy naglagay ulit sya ng panibago.
He cut the pork to tiny pieces using scissors. He move knowing what to do. Mukhang sanay syang magluto.
Plus points! I like people who can cook kasi hindi ako marunong.
Kian was a husband material. Imagine, you wake up late because of exhaustion and saw him in the kitchen cooking. Wearing an apron while he slowly look at you. A smile was formed in his lips before greeting you, *"Good morning, my love."*
Nakakakilig diba?
Nawala ang ngiti ko ng maisip yon.
What is that Athena Blair Sandoval??? Nagiging delusional ka na! Did you just imagine being married with him?!?! Girl, hindi ka pa graduate! 3rd year college ka palang!
Alam kong medyo naginit yung mukha ko dahil sa tumatakbo sa isip ko. Agad akong umiling para alisin sa isip ko ang anumang hindi dapat.
"What's wrong with you?" Tanong ni Kian nang mapansing ang pag iling ko.
"Wala." Agad kong sagot.
He raise his eyebrow at me as if telling me he don't believe it being nothing.
"Pwede bang tumikim? It smells good." Pagdadahilan ko. Tapos ko na din kasing kainin yung kakanin na binigay nya habang pinapanood syang magluto.
"Still hungry?" Tanong nya habang nililipat yung side dish na tapos na nyang lutuin. "Saglit lang, tapusin ko lang toh tapos ikukuha na kita."
Agad naman akong tumayo sa sinabi nya.
"Hindi ako na. Just continue what you doing and i'll get it myself." May ginagawa pa kasi sya. Lumapit ako dun sa spot na may mga pinggan at utensils.
"No, let me." Binilisan nya yung galaw nya at pumunta sa pwesto kung nasaan ako. He gently took the plate I was holding and smiled at me.
"Your not my servant, Kian. Isa pa kaya ko rin naman, may ginagawa ka rin kaya ako na." Sagot ko at kukunin sana yung pinggan sakanya kaso nilayp nya yon sakin.
"I know." He tear his gaze away from me before getting a fork. He spoke again, making a claim to justify his actions. "But let me. Kaya mo, kaya ko rin. I was the one who invited you, so let me."
Umalis sya sa harapan ko at nilagay nang pagkain yong pinggan.
"Here." Nilagay nya yung plato dun sa pwesto ko kanina bago ulit ngumiti sa akin.
My heart was beating for the small acts he put up when he's with me. He always and never fails to make my heart flutters, whether it's by action or words.
Hindi na ko nagsalita because my mind is racing with thoughts, pumunta naman ako sa pwesto ko kanina at umupo. Bumalik sya sa ginagawa nya.
Bumalik ang isip ko sa mga bagay na nangyari at nung unang pagkikita namin. Lagi syang nandyan.
He was always there, taking care of me.
He was always the guy who was there to soothe me with his presence, his words and actions ever since we met. How many times was it? How many times was he there to calm my mind that was in turmoil.
The first time we met, when me and Dad had a fight. The time when I talk with Kyle, he was there and didn't say anything while overhearing my conversation with Dia. The time when everything was a mess... Kian bring me here in the river and let me rest. Or that time when my mind was overthinking when I heard the news that Lola wakes up. Afraid that he might sleep again or... but he calm my mind with his words. Or even the recent incident when he was there when I was abducted, he was there on that place. Hugging me tightly, being in his arms felt like home.
Just like Lolo, Lola and my friends, Kian was one of the people who I can be real with. No filter and everything. They're the people who I can vulnerable with.
I'm always thankful to them.
Kian might annoy me at times but just by being with him, put my mind at ease.
Naputol ang pagiisip ko nang mag salita si Kian na tapos na syang magluto. After setting the food in the table he sat across the table before looking at me.
"You didn't touch it." Bumaba yung tingin nya sa pagkain na hindi ko pa nakakain na hiningi ko kanina when I was daydreaming. "Hindi ba mukhang masarap?"
Tanong nya kaya agad akong kumuha ng cut grilled pork sa pinggan na nasa harap ko bago sinubo yon.
"Masarap!" I give him a thumbs up while chewing it.
Nang malasahan ko ay masarap talaga sya. Super!!! Mas inuna ko lang talaga ang magisip muna bago kumain.
"Parang napilitan ka lang ata eh." Agad naman akong umiling sa kumento nya.
"I was just thinking about something but it's delicious." Sumubo ulit ako para ipakitang masarap. Sumilay yung ngiti sa mga labi nya habang pinapanood akong kumain.
"Sige, sabi mo ah." Naglagay na din sya ng pagkain sa pinggan nya. "Ano bang iniisip mo?"
"Something about work." Pagsisinungaling ko.
"You know, Athena." Tumingin sya sa akin after kumuha ng pagkain.
"Hmm?"
"I'm a very jealous man, though I might not look like it."
"Eh?" Muntik na akong masamid sa sinabi nya. Anong konek non sa pinaguusapan namin?
"Your on a date with me but your thinking about something else."
Date???
Napansin nya siguro yung naguguluhang ekspresyon ko kaya nagsalita sya ulit.
"This is date Athena." He look straight into my eyes. "Did you think otherwise?"
"I invited you with the thought of having a date with you." Binasa nya muna ang ibabang labi bago nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita. "There's a reason why I invited you today."
"Reason?" Halos palakpakan ko na yung sarili ko nang marinig na normal lang yung tono ng boses ko.
"I want to pursue you, Athena. I want to have a relationship with you. Get to know you." He utter those words slow and gentle. "Gusto kitang ligawan. Sinabi ko na sayong gusto kitang i-pursue nung nag confess ako but I never act on it. I was afraid of your reaction. Okay lang kahit hindi mo pa ko gusto ngayon. I'll work on it."
My heart was racing rapidly while my mind was processing what he said. The mix emotion i'm feeling right now is something I can't explained in words.
"I'll wait no matter how long it takes." His cheeks was tinted in pink as he spoke the words that sounds so sincere. "I'll make you fall for me."
I already fell Kian.
"So let me do my part." His gaze was soft.
He was asking for permission. Permission to let him pursue me freely.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari sa akin pero dahan dahan akong tumango sakanya na hindi ko dapat ginawa dahil sa mga mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw. I didn't know I will have the guts to hurt this man infront of me.
I saw how his eyes lit up as his smile grow wider. His nervous expression was replace by a surprise like he wasn't expecting me to agree. My heart leap with joy when I saw that.
His smile was the thing that save me several times... his warm eyes that always brings a warm feeling to me.
Baka pwede na, baka okay lang kay Dad. But what if hindi pwede? What if di pumayag si Dad? What if he'll disapprove?
My mind was occupied with what ifs... I was afraid on what might happen next.
For the following day after Kian's work, we often hang out at the river. With each day he showed me a much sweeter side of him that I didn't know. Each day that we're together makes me fall for him even more. He was busy with his part-time jobs but he always makes time for me.
I was worried that I may affect his work but he told me... "I'll make time for you no matter how tight my schedule is." It made my heart flutter.
I wish our days would remain like this, but I shouldn't have wished for something like that because of what happen the following days.
I wish I didn't agree to him courting me. I wish we only stay as friends and nothing more or even better just a companion. Because I will only put him through something that will hurt him and me.
My Dad drop something that shattered my wishes to be with him...
It was a hard decision to make as Dad involve someone to make me agree. If I didn't do it, Kian will have a hard time.
That's when I know that,
My wishes aren't always granted,
Happiness wasn't on my side,
Falling inlove with him has its risks,
I hate that whenever i'm happy,
The universe is always against it.
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