Simon's P.O.V.
We all had finally finished packing up our things and it was now time to leave to go to the airport.
"Mom I need to go do something." I said as I walked away from the car.
"You aren't going to go see Josh. You need time away from one another." She said as I nodded.
"I just want to leave him a letter. I don't want him to think that I am mad at him. I want to tell him how I feel. I have to do this mom. Even if it does fuck up everything." I said as I ran to Josh's house.
I ran and ran and ran not looking back once. All I could think about was going to that hospital and kissing him and telling him all of my emotions and just share the world with him, but I know that wouldn't be right, I can't do that to him. We need time and that is what I am going to give to him.
I finally arrived at his house. No one was home and I knew exactly where the spare key was. They always keep it in the same exact spot all of the time.
I walked inside and went into Josh's room and sat at his desk. All I could think about was that time where we played geometry dash and how we would jam to that music but get so frustrated at the game.
I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started to write:
Josh,
I'm sorry that I left you without saying anything. I'm sorry that I haven't been treating you well. You are so amazing and I truly don't deserve someone like you. I constantly feel like shit when I'm without you, but I think we need time apart from each other. To think over everything.
I don't want to leave you. I don't want to say goodbye, but I know this is for the best. I know that this is the write decision.
I love you Josh, I love you so freaking much. I don't like Lewis, I feel uncomfortable sometimes when I'm near him. I love you and only you and I am so, so, so, so freaking sorry that I am leaving you.
I love you and I always will. I know that we will make our way back to each other. I love you Josh, I love you so much and this fight isn't over yet.
I love you with all my heart,
Simon
I then got up out of the seat and put the letter down right on his bed. I sat on the ground right in front of his TV. I sat down and remembered all of the things. I remembered sitting here and watching different scary movies and jumping into Josh's arms and he would just hold me. I remember playing truth or dare and how JJ dared me to have my first kiss with one of the guys or I would have to tell each and everyone of them what I think of them. So I kissed Josh. It was really awkward because it was just a fast peck and we said that it didn't count. I just remember the way it felt and it was so weird because I had all these different emotions, and then when I kissed the first girl I ever liked I felt nothing.
All these things flowed back and I couldn't imagine having to go away from this all, to never be with him again. I know that won't happen, I hope that won't happen.