Fighting Bleeding Losing | Yeongyu / Beomjun

-18-

"Really !?" She fastly took her phone and after a couple of seconds of aggressively typing on her screen, she showed her phone to Yeonjun.

The music video started and a sweet voice resonated in the familial house "I'm a loser, I'm a loser" Then Changmin's face showed up on the screen, making Yeonjun's eyes widen in shock. Yeonjun tried to see who was the guitarist because he knew it was his sister favorite member but everytime he was on screen, only his red electric guitar could be seen.

Until his face showed up on the screen. And it made Yeonjun feel breathless. It was him. It was Beomgyu. Then Yeonjun remembered what Yena said. He got beaten up by his father while he was doing a live. And Yeonjun understood ; that was why maybe Yeonjun hated music.

"이길 수 없던 fighting, bleeding, losing" 'Shit' The boy thought. 'Even his voice his fucking incredible.' He couldn't breath as he watched Beomgyu playing the guitar with passion as he was singing. Beomgyu was like shining, Yeonjun could only see him.

"Yeonjun ? Do you hear me? Eh oh~" Yeonjun's sister laughed as she waved her hand in front of Yeonjun's face. 'Shit' "Wow they're cool... Beomgyu is really good at singing" He complimented but it only created a silence.

Yeonjun understood that he fucked up when Yena spoke again "Beomgyu ? How the hell do you know his name" She exclaimed with wide big eyes. "I-Hum how can I say that... I guessed it ?" He awkwardly spoke, earning an interested nod from his sister.

Yena watched him suspiciously but before she could reply ,the door opened and then their mother's voice could be heard.

"Yeonjun my baby ! How are you ? Are you feeling okay ? Did you take your meds today ? You took them right ?" She bombarded him with questions without letting him answer. "Calm down mum! I'm okay!" Lie. He lied. But it was for his mom's sanity.

Still, he tried to make an effort today, he didn't smoke or drink ! Well... it's only noon but he did his best.

"You're still seeing your therapist right ?" She asked, already knowing she will earn a negative answer. So he didn't reply, hoping his chatty and noisy sister or his talkative and loud father would save the awkward situation.

"Anyways ! Are you going to come for Christmas this year... I know last year was kind of-" Well, Yeonjun would have preferred if Yena didn't speak. "Yena." Their mother warned, cutting Yena off.

"It's okay" Yeonjun reassured. 'No it's not'. " We don't have to act like it never happened. It won't change anything." He continued while his mother sighed. "Do you want to eat ? I can make dinner for the four of us if you want" His father asked, he was always a good cook but it didn't feel right for Yeonjun, he felt suffocating.

"No I just came to visit you fastly. I will go back before dinner." Yeonjun breathed. Drug. He needed drugs. He feel breathless. He was in need of drugs... Or Beomgyu. He needed Beomgyu.

"Sweetie ? Are you okay ?" The small woman asked when she saw her son starting to hyperventilate. "I'm okay. I'm okay. It's just hard to come back here" He said through his fake small.

Yeonjun's parents felt useless, again, they couldn't help their son in his struggles, again they felt like they were losing him to his demons. "Breath in and breath out Junnie" Yena tried to comfort him and after seconds, she succeeded. Yeonjun could breath again.

Yet, the boy felt like shit. He just looked like a mess in front of his family. Again, like if it was his fate.

☆  ⸺   🎸🛹   !

Soobin

"If you don't love me anymore just tell me ! I know I promised you that I won't be drunk anymore and I know I broke this promise but Hyuka broke it too and you forgave him ? So why don't you forgive me too? Did I do something else ? Please tell me if I did something. Did you lose feelings ? Do you not love me anymore ? Or do you just never loved me ? So that's why you never told me 'I love you' back ?" Soobin broke down in tears as the boy in front of him stared at him without moving.

"Soobin what the hell are you saying ? I l-like you a lot ! I have feelings for you ! But it's just a lot... I feel so powerless. You are still losing weight and I can't do anything for that and I'm so worried ! And I'm slowly losing all of my friends because most of them don't accept that I like boys and I'm in a poly relationship a-and after your drunk confession I'm so fucking worried for Beomgyu because I just know that Yeonjun will hurt him. And Wooyoung is giving me hard times ! Yeonjun is always stoned. And I can't do anything for any of this situations it made me so fucking stressed and I know that I'm powerless!" Taehyun yelled back, making the tall weak boy flinch.

"So if it's an accumulation of things, why are you cold with me ? Why aren't you saying that you love me ?" Soobin couldn't fight the tears anymore so he let them run on his rosy cheeks again. "I do Soobin. I do love you. Do you hear that. I'm fucking in love with you and Huening Kai. And I'm so scared to lose you... Because I see you losing weight everyday and I can't even help you." Taehyun whispered in despair, loud enough for Soobin to hear.

"Because you think that ignoring me will help me to gain weight ? You're an idiot ! You made it worse ! I thought you didn't find me attractive anymore because I'm too fat and-" It was now Soobin's turn to yell but he only got cut off by Taehyun who hugged him tightly. "You're perfect Soobin. You're so fucking pretty as you are" Taehyun mumbled in Soobin's ear before kissing his cheek.

Suddenly the door opened with a loud noise, Huening -who was downstairs with his sisters- got alarmed by the scream upstairs so he ran there, only to find his two boyfriends hugging each other, the taller of them crying in the tight embrace.

Without thinking twice, he ran to hug his two boyfriends. "I don't know why the both of you are arguing and I don't want to know... J-Just promise me to never hurt each other again" The youngest said in a whisper. "I love you both so much" He added.

"I love you. Even if I don't say it much, I love you" Taehyun replied, squeezing the two boy's small bodies.

☆  ⸺   🎸🛹   !

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