Fighting Bleeding Losing | Yeongyu / Beomjun

Yeonjun

'Loud scream, glass shattered, wet clothes sticked his skin.' Yeonjun breath was getting unsteady. 'His mother's cry, his sister loud gasps, the emergency siren.' Yeonjun gasped for air. 'His face underwater, the hospital scent, the white room.' Every single memory came back into Yeonjun's head.

Yeonjun felt miserable. It's been a month and Beomgyu didn't contact him, he was getting worried. He knew he fucked up, Taehyun told him. And he for the first time in his life, he felt guilty.

He never meant to break Beomgyu's heart. The melange of the drugs and the alcohol had him so wasted he had no memories of what happened that night.

He promised himself to not drink and smoke during the party, but the social pressure had him weak.

And it was like someone had possessed him, like he wasn't himself during that stupid party.

But he noticed he really loved Beomgyu when he had already lost him.

His depressed state was so deep that he skipped class for the two weeks, he'll probably fail his exams but he didn't care a bit.

Only Beomgyu was on his mind, but Taehyun had forbidden him from contacting the younger male. He felt like a rat in a trap, with only his sadness and sorrows left.

He hated himself for being so selfish and careless, he hated himself for drinking at that damn party, he hated himself for losing Beomgyu.

Actually, he just hated himself.

He already asked himself a million times why the hell did he fuck that girl. He doesn't even remember her name and he doesn't want to remember that futile information.

He never remembered talking coldly to Beomgyu nor telling him to go out of his room. The drugs changed him into a beast.

He threw an accusatory look at the drug in front of him, on the table. It wasn't his fault, it was the drug. That's what he tried to believe.

But then, he remembers that the only one responsible for his miserable life was him.

After, he thought about him. Not Beomgyu. Him. The boy Beomgyu looks alike, not physically but definitely in his personality.

All his problems came from here.

Actually, Yeonjun always knew he wasn't straight, he even had a boyfriend around two years ago. He met him in a café during the summer vacation and spent the whole summer with him. Yeonjun, young boy who never believed in love, fell in love at first sight. And the boy he believed be his soulmate was named Woojae. A boy a year younger than him who loved music, Christmas and Yeonjun. Like Beomgyu.

Woojae was smaller and thinner than him, he had long hair, big doe eyes and those kissable plump lips that made Yeonjun weak on his knee.

They were both young, happy and in love. Two years ago they even spent Christmas together. Back then, Yeonjun was sober, never had touched any drugs, and happy, overall, he indeed was really different from now.

They lived their secret idyll, pretending to be only friends, and everyone believed them.

Then, six months after, as Woojae was in his father's car, and the said father was driving to join Yeonjun at the theatre in case to watch a movie together, something Yeonjun will never forgets happened.

He saw the love of his life waving his hand at him through the car's window as his father was trying to find a parking spot to park his brand new clean car.

Then, unexpectedly, a car driving too fast loudly crashed into their car.

Yeonjun won't ever forget the look on his lover's face, the pure fear.

The impact was so violent that the cars were on fire, gasoline, and debris on the road.

He watched them die and did nothing.

He slightly remembers the sounds of the police and firefighters arriving and the scream of the pedestrians.

Then he blacked out.

He only started to test drugs and alcohol after Woojae's death. Because it was too painful, because he felt like he was coupable of his death.

And only few months after he tried to join Woojae.

But he failed, like he failed to protect his lover.

Like he failed to take care of Beomgyu.

Like he failed to keep his promise to not fall in love again.

☆ ⸺ 🎸🛹 !

Beomgyu

"I genuinely don't understand why you don't like Wooyoung, he changed so much!" Beomgyu said to his new roommate as the two boys were eating a pizza.

"This guy did many things that don't match my values." The other stated. "But I start to... accept him ?" He said with a disgusted smile. "Yeah so you basically like him but don't want to assume it." Beomgyu raised a eyebrow.

"I don't like him I just don't despise him anymore." The boy lied. "His previous friends are weird anyways.i hate them, especially... hum... you know ? Yeonjun." San stuttered.

Beomgyu gagged on his pizza slice. "Don't talk about that bitch." He grimaced. "So you're not sad anymore?" San asked with a kind smile. "I'm not. I'm just mad at him. Because he played with me." Beomgyu explained, his fist tightly closed.

His sad phase was over, he wasn't depressed anymore because he understood he had no reason to be sad, Yeonjun was the one who was lose him and not the other way around. Beomgyu was just angry and talking about Yeonjun irritated him.

"I hate him."

☆ ⸺ 🎸🛹 !

Yeonjun

Taehyun was looking at Yeonjun with compassion. The older looked like shit.

Taehyun came to take care of him since the older boy was so depressed he couldn't manage to get up to eat or even wash up.

"I miss him." Yeonjun cried, his heart clenching uncomfortably. "Don't make this more complicated than it is already Yeonjun. Let him live his life. Without you." Taehyun said, pressing a wet towel against Yeonjun's dirty and bruised skin.

To be honest he had never noticed all the scars Yeonjun has before today. But he chose not to say anything about that to Yeonjun. It wasn't the right time.

"I want to see him, or at least to apologize." Yeonjun sighed, letting tears out of his red eyes. "Let him move on and be happy Yeonjun stop being so fucking selfish!" Taehyun raised his voice and pressing the towel hard on his skin, making Yeonjun sob even louder.

Again, he was forbidden to see Beomgyu.

He felt his heart fall apart.

☆ ⸺ 🎸🛹 !

Only a few chapters left :D !