sim.jaeyun → agent 003

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He stopped, turning back around. The silence between us spoke volumes.

"Why?" I even dared ask, I was for sure going to punch myself tomorrow morning, no doubt, I was clearly lacking something in my mind to have the guts to say anything like this.

Let alone reach for his hand and stop him from leaving. Now this is probably the lowest I've went.

"Hikari, I don't want you hurt." I could tell Jake didn't want to say this too, I could tell his tone of voice was one of disappointment.

"But how will you hurt me?" I still couldn't fathom anything - clearly - I just needed someone to hit me unconscious before I start talking more nonsense.

Jake gave a small sigh, approaching me once more, crouching down and looking up at me.

"Because I know I will. There's no further explanation, it will happen. And I don't want it to." Jake gave a small kiss on my forehead before heading out once again.

The sound of the door shutting wasn't enough to snap me out of my daze, I simply leant back on my bed, staring at the pitch black ceiling.

So how exactly am I supposed to sleep with all these thoughts running through my mind?

It took a few tosses and turns, rolling around on my bed, putting my pillow on my head and throwing it off the bed.

Eventually, I gave up, standing up and opening the balcony door, just to get some fresh air.

Clearly, I wasn't still my usual self, since I wasn't having a hard time over what embarrassing things I just did.

I leant on the balcony, staring out into the acres of land, the cool wind caressed my face. With my mind so active, I wasn't sure if I was even going to sleep at all.

But after a while of brooding on the balcony, I head back inside, laying back down, and surprisingly, managing to fall asleep significantly quicker than before.

-

I woke up, sure did wake up. And the first thing that ran through my head was panic. Pure panic.

I sat up in an instant, a horrific flashback of the completely down-bad things I did last night. My eyes widened, and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to try and mask my shock.

Oh hell no, I did not just do any of that.

I hoped it was a bad dream, but it was all too real to even remotely resemble a dream. I held my hands at either side of my head, then to my cheeks.

Genuinely, I had to give Jake a concussion so he'd forget and I wouldn't have to live with this embarrassment.

Honestly, I wasn't even sure if it was worth it, stepping outside of my room to go down to grab something to eat - maybe it'd be better if I just hibernated in here instead.

I'm pretty sure my body was in too much shock to even move for the first five minutes of waking up. Now this is one thing that'll haunt me for the rest of my life.

Usually, I'm okay with alcohol, and my tolerance is average, but yesterday? Clearly not.

I checked my phone, and it was pretty late in the afternoon, so without a doubt, in a moment someone may check on me to see if I'm even alive.

I had to distract myself immediately, so, without any thought, I changed, rushed myself to get ready, and ran the hell out of my bedroom.

I'm going to take one of Jake's cars, for sure, and drive somewhere to literally try and make myself feel better.

I was aware at every voice I heard downstairs, whether it was one of the maids, or one of the guys speaking. I crept past a few rooms, putting my ear to the door in Jake's room to see if he was maybe in there.

I couldn't hear anything, but did that mean he's not in there? No. I had no idea, maybe I should risk it, maybe I shouldn't.

His door was unlocked anyways, so, testing my luck, I pushed the door open and peered my head inside. He wasn't in his main bedroom, but the sound of the shower was on, so with panic running through my veins, I grabbed the first car keys I saw scattered on his desk and dashed out of there.

I sped my way downstairs, as if my life depended on it, and even bumped into Heeseung.

"Oh, you're in a rush?" Heeseung chuckled as I just gave him a fake laugh back.

"Just need to sort something out real quick." I nervously threw a few chuckles back, proceeding to run past him and make it to the garage.

I pressed the unlock button on the keys, and one car in the garage lit up, with no time, I head straight towards that car, sitting inside and pulling out of the garage immediately.

I had no idea where to go, or what to do, but I was not about to sit in there right now.