Strings Of Perfection

23

Pero gagsti, hindi ko dapat iniisip 'yon.

"Ayan, ganyan lang." His voice was softer now, almost like he was talking to someone fragile. And it pissed me off.

I swallowed harshly, trying to ignore the way my throat ached. "'wag mo akong tratuhing bata."

Sylas raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "Then don't act like one." He scooped another spoonful and held it up again.

Tch. Gusto ko siyang sabihan na kaya kong kumain mag-isa, pero given the way my limbs felt like lead and how my head was still spinning, I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

"One more."

"Gago, ang clingy mo."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Just---"

"Ang tagal mong 'di kumibo tapos ngayon ganyan ka?" I forced out a laugh, kahit na ang bigat sa dibdib. "Ano na, Pres? Akala ko ba hindi mo ako papansinin?"

Sylas's jaw tensed---just for a second, just enough for me to catch it.

"If I don't take care of you, then who will?"

Bigla akong natahimik.

I knew he didn't mean it like that. I knew he was just frustrated, probably fed up with my stubbornness. Pero tangina, bakit parang may ibang tama 'yung sinabi niya?

I looked away, suddenly feeling too exposed.

"Akin na 'yan," I grumbled, reaching for the spoon, but before I could even touch it, he pulled it back.

"No."

"Pres---"

"Creu." His tone was final. Walang pakiusap. Walang pasensya. "Finish this first."

I clicked my tongue, annoyed. Pero wala na akong energy makipagtalo. I let him feed me, ignoring the way my chest ached in a way that had nothing to do with being sick.

He didn't say anything else, and neither did I. But the silence between us felt heavier than before.

Parang may kung anong dapat sabihin pero pareho kaming walang lakas ng loob na magsalita.

Sylas exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair like he's been holding back the urge to pull at it. "I hate you "

I forced a smirk kahit pakiramdam ko sinasampal ako ng migraine. "Damn, do you?"

Pero hindi siya natawa. Hindi man lang nag-react. His eyes just stayed on me, sharp and searching, like he was trying to find something I wasn't saying.

Then, barely above a whisper, he muttered, "You scared me, Creu."

Putangina.

Parang lalo akong nanlumo.

It took me a full five seconds before I forced out a laugh, weak and awkward. "Ang bigat mo namang kausap. I just passed out---"

"That's not the point."

Mas dumilim 'yung tingin niya. His voice was tight, controlled, but there was something raw underneath it.

"You act like you're fine, then you just... collapse. Like it's nothing. Like it's normal. Do you even realize how---"

He stopped himself, jaw clenching.

Napakagat ako sa loob ng pisngi ko.

He was mad. But not in the usual irita way. Not in the gago ka talaga way.

"Does it ever cross your mind na may mga taong nag-aalala sa'yo, tangina?"

May kumirot sa dibdib ko.

Nag-aalala siya. Magugulat ba ako sa fact na 'yan o dahil nag mura siya?