A Source's Existence

My mind feels like it has three options for my future right now. One, either I'm already dead, and Anthony knows we're doing this. Two, Anthony's yet to find out about this whole plan Lim and I have established for two hundred kids here, and are about to die. And three... we're gonna escape this horrid place, and live an amazing life.

Levin, Lillette, Grace, and I, are waiting in the room Lim asked forty guards to meet here. The room is a place where Anthony holds meetings, which is the floor above the lunchroom.

"Are you really sure about this?" asks Levin, leaning against the wall. "How are we even sure this is gonna work?"

"He's not obviously." says Lillette.

"Lillette." says Grace annoyed.

"What?" says Lillette, like there was nothing wrong with what she said.

"Lim works in Second in Command Assistance. He's in charge of any guard that doesn't specialize in that. The guards are gonna come here, they're gonna listen to Levin's mind control, and get us the hell out of here within a couple weeks. He even disabled some of the point of views for the security cameras, so none of this would get caught on camera." I say. I hear Lillette scoff.

"Whatever," says Lillette. "Am I the only one who has doubts about this? There's a reason why only two hundred kids are in on this escape. It's too good to be true."

"Because it's the truth we should've heard several years ago, Lillette. Now can you just... not?" I tell her. She rolls her eyes, as we continue to wait.

I wonder what Sawyer's up too. I've been focusing on this for so long I haven't touched my phone in days, making me feel a little guilty for not answering if she's texted me.

I'm one of those people who responds right away to texts. I just always get so worried it may be something needed at that moment.

I really miss her. I'm so not used to being away from her for this long. Living in a place that doesn't give you freedom, your free time is always socializing... one of the reasons why pretty much everyone here knows I'm queer.

But something that's hard about being that way, is when you develop feelings for someone, a thought that never leaves your head is, are they this way too?

Tyler. Ugh wow. I know Tyler has friends, and I've seen him hang out with girls. All the popular kids go to the secret parties held here by kids, and usually my friends come back saying that saw people like, I don't know, making out in closets.

And Tyler, is literally one of the most popular kids here, because he's so fun to be around. Sawyer's always suggested that I should approach him and talk to him, but every time I'm around him I just can't even get any words out, and my cheeks feel like they're on fire.

What I know most about him, is so many girls have a crush on him. That's what stresses me out.

Here are all the boys checking out girls, and I have the same interests as the girls... it really is something that I've kept to myself.

"Jamie!" exclaims Lillette. I snap out of my train of thought, looking over at Lillette. She hands me the radio that Lim gave us to speak to us. "Lim's talking to you!"