A Source's Existence

43 - Eli

I stare at her, grateful.

"You... make me feel like I'm home. And... I've... never really felt that before..." she mutters. "I've always been stuck in this place I've never belonged, but now I'm here... with you..."

I stare at her.

She tilts her head down, looking embarrassed again.

I have something to tell her too.

"Sawyer...?" I say.

She looks back up at me.

"Yeah?" she says. I stare at her for a while, feeling tension to tell her, but a sudden wave comes over to me, and it feels like I didn't even hesitate.

"I think I'm falling in love with you..." I mutter. She looks at me, after a few seconds smiling.

"For real?" she asks. I make a smile so happy its crooked.

"For real." I say nodding.

She stares, her eyes watering from happiness, as her head slowly inches up towards mine.

I close my eyes, as I slowly do the same, but downward.

I think it's about to happen after a few seconds, but too long has passed.

I open my eyes, and Sawyer has brought her head back down.

"I'm sorry..." she says shaking her head, her eyes closed. She opens them and looks up at me. "Can we go back to your house?"

I'm confused at first, but maybe it's because she wants to do this in private.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." I say. We unlock hands and she starts walking over to the direction of my house.

We walk to my house, she quickly runs up the pillars on the wall to my house, as I follow after her. I close the door behind me and walk over to her.

"Is everything o─?"

"I haven't been honest with you." she says swiftly turning around, fidgeting with her hands.

"What do you mean?" I ask. I walk towards her. She looks ashamed.

"I want to show you something... but it might... make you uncomfortable..." she says with a laugh, but no happiness in her face. "It involves... with me showing you my back, which means I have to take off my dress...!"

I raise my eyebrows, not expecting her to say that at all. But her back... I remember seeing this stuff on her back... that looked like... Oh my God...

"Do it if you really want to." I say, trying to make my voice soothing. She smiles, as if she was thanking me.

Her hands reach to the back of her dress, unzipping it. She slowly slides each strap off her shoulder, and slides the dress off her body onto the floor. Now in only her bra and short spandex, she slowly turns around.

She parts her hair out of the way,  as what I see shocks me deeply.

From the bottom of her spine to her neck, is rough, blended burns. They look like patches of ink spread out everywhere, some bright pink and some dark red and black.

"How did this happen to you?" I ask. I hear her sigh.

"My father..." she mutters. I exhale, disturbed. "Ever since I was ten years old, he's done this. All because I tell him I will never join him and be on his side. And when I say no, his power burns me from under my skin, sending the worst pain I've ever lived in my entire life. All this time I've been so trapped, unable to tell anyone or he says he'll do it more. Maybe the real reason why he sent me on this trip was to try to get me to love him.

"But there are times where I think to myself... what if I'll end up like him...? What if I become him because I'm his daughter? Or what if I'm messed up and don't know it? Or what if I'll have no choice but to join him or what if...?"

"Hey hey..." I soothe walking towards her. She turns around, I pick her hands and hold them tightly. "You're nothing like your father... okay?"

She stares at me, saddened.

"The man you just described, is not you..." I say. "You are the best person I have ever met...! You're extraordinary, and brave, and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone..."

She thinks to herself, and looks at me again.

"Sawyer what makes you nothing like him is because you're good... part of being a good person is wanting to be a good person, and that's not like him. You're you. And I know you... and you will always be you..."

She looks into my eyes.

She brings her hand up to my face, resting it there, and putting her other hand on my shoulder. I move my fingers up to the edge of her face, brushing away a strand of hair in front of her eyes.

Before we know it, our heads inch closer and closer, giving me butterflies.

Everything turns off all around us as our mouths connect for the very first time. I kiss her again, and she kisses me back, a flurry of emotions settling between us.

I hold her face as we continue to kiss, her moving her arm up through my hair. I kiss her once again. We hold it for a few more magical seconds, until we stop, taking a moment to look at each other.

She puts my hands on the sides of my face. We stare at each other, and slowly smile passionately. She tilts her forehead to my chin, pursing her lips.

She must be so happy, and so relieved.

So am I.

She looks up at me again. She moves her head closer to my head, and we instantly kiss again... and again, and again.

Her hands place on the buttons of my shirt, unbuttoning each one, desperately fast. She gets to the bottom button as I throw arms out of my shirt, throwing it to the floor.

I hold her face again, and start to take off my shoes with my feet, as she throws her flats off.

We stay close together, as we head to my bed. She sits down on the bed, pulls me close and kisses me. I lean down farther, laying her down to her back.

We kiss again, and again, until we look at each other.

We both stare as she brushes her hands on my face, moving her fingers. She smiles briefly, and looks at me the way before.

"I think I'm in love with you too..." she says through breathes. I smile down at her, snickering. She's so beautiful... I can't get over how beautiful she is...

I lean down and kiss her. She kisses back a few more times, stopping briefly, as she snickers too.

This is by far, the best night of my life... a celebration, a girl that I've fallen in love with...

I never in a million years thought this would come, but it has.

I guess a miracle only comes when you don't expect it to...

And she damn right is the real miracle I've always waited for... as we kiss more and more, before we do it all...