Snippets of Madam Sirr (S1)

*** This chapter starts after KS hands over her resignation to Haseena exploring the impact of KS on the MPT members. ***

Haseena's POV

Haseena stands in her cabin tracing KS's resignation letter with her hand, her heart gripped with unspoken emotions.

"Pushpa Ji" she said, sniffling. "I need to be alone for some time. Please close the door on your way out."

Her brow furrowed in concern as she stared at Haseena, her mind itching to comfort her daughter. She reluctantly stepped aside knowing very well the weight of unspoken emotions. Haseena watched her leave with the corner of her eyes and felt herself break down.

She sat down her hand still caressing KS's letter. An overwhelming mixture of emotions raged through her mind. Haseena was furious that a capable officer as KS was resigning and she also regretted the fact that KS didn't think of confiding in her best friend but what hurt her the most was the pain, the feeling that the MPT and especially Haseena's life would never be the same without the presence of KS.

She kept the letter on her table and held her head with her hands, an unbidden teardrop escaping her eyes. Her mind rose and fell to the sway of emotions, the memories unwinding before her as if her life flashed before her eyes. She lifted her head and looked out the window, the gleam of the sunlight glistening in her glassy eyes. She got up and stood in front of the window, feeling the memories infiltrate her mind. She subdued and fell back into a trance welcoming the familiar rush of warmth.

Her mind replayed their moments together as her eyes squirted tears. She led her way to the challenging first days of her posting when she and KS were in constant clashes and confrontations resulting from the difference of ideologies. As the time marked its place, both Haseena and KS silently acknowledged the other, their respect lengthening in unwavering bounds. Haseena recalled the anguish that swam through her heart when KS accused her of a traitor. Her eyes sparkled as she saw KS doing sit-ups while holding her ears in front of the public when she apologized to her. Haseena laughed, the lament in her heart gnawing as pieces of her fell off into an unknown abyss.

She awoke to the past, the bitter rays of the sunlight drawing KS's silhouette on the ground beneath her. Her heart felt heavy as unbridled emotions fluttered to rise inside her. Haseena herself was conflicted. She thought back to KS desperately yearning to justify KS's decision yet Haseena could find no justification in her mind.

She paced through her cabin, constantly cracking her knuckles. Her steps were slow with her legs buckling under her grief. In her mind, a memory arose without hesitation as she heard a voice, as clear as day.

"Madam Sir....." KS voice echoed. "I'll never leave you. I'll always be with you."

Haseena banged her fist on the table hard that the glass-top pierced her skin. Raw welts on blood pooled on her knuckles as she kept pressing her fist onto the table, her teeth gritted. She let out a scream, silent and muted, the drawstrings of her heart snapping with each yell.

"KS, you told me that you never broke promises but what about the promise you made to me?" she whispered to herself, her voice fraying as she applied more pressure to her fist. She released her hands and succumbed to her chair almost wincing in pain as she saw the blood marks, raw and fresh around her knuckles.

KS had made her decision, Haseena thought. A fire burned down her body as shards of glass pierced her throat. She felt her heart collapse on herself, jumping out of the ribcage. Haseena had no choice but to accept her decision. Haseena's jaw clenched as their friendship and camaraderie replayed in her mind but Haseena knew that as her friend, Haseena should support her despite her decision. She desperately reassured and convinced herself yet her words fell through the cracks as grains of sand. Haseena pinched her nails deep into her palm, the pain momentarily grounding her as she flickered between hope and hopelessness.