I Don't Like This World, I Only Like You (我不喜歡這世界，我只喜歡你) by Qiao Yi (喬一)

The Person in Front of Me is The One I Love.

I don't even remember how I answered back then. Maybe I hurriedly made up a lie that was full of holes.

When I left, his mother gave me a jar of homemade rose cookies, smiling and saying, "Come visit again next time."

I also smiled and nodded, but I knew I would never come back.

I really liked his house, liked that big window, and liked his mother, but I couldn't go back because I couldn't lift my head in their presence, I would feel ashamed.

Yes, the most filthy thing in the world is a person's sense of self-esteem.

My teenage years were like this — full of inferiority, twists and turns, and sensitivity.

For a long time, I couldn't understand why he liked someone like me.

We didn't keep in touch for a long time, and later when I graduated from university, I started working in Changsha. When my alma mater celebrated its 60th anniversary, I returned to my hometown for a reunion with high school classmates and learned that F had come back as well.

The class leader called him and said, "We're at XX KTV, are you coming?" I had a feeling he would come, and sure enough, not long after, the class leader went out to pick him up.

I was so nervous I couldn't sit still, and eventually, like a coward, I hid in the restroom.

I spent more than ten minutes in there, giving myself all kinds of psychological support and comforting myself. Then I fixed my hair, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.

In the crowd, I saw him right away.

It was strange. We hadn't seen each other for four years, the lights in the KTV were so dim, the room was crowded, and he didn't even sit in the center, but the moment I stepped in, I saw him right away.

His hair was shorter, wearing a black sweater I had never seen, looking much thinner, and much more mature.

He looked up, made eye contact with me for a few seconds, then nonchalantly turned his gaze away, showing no intention of greeting me.

Since there was no empty seat, I reluctantly sat next to the karaoke machine, pretending to be busy by selecting a song. F sat two people away from me.

Since he appeared, I didn't know where to put my hands or feet, and my heart was in chaos. I had to find something to do to pretend I wasn't bothered by his presence. There was a can of Coke on the table, and I grabbed it like a lifeline, but when I tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. I awkwardly put it back down.

To my surprise, as soon as I put it down, F grabbed the can and opened it with a pop.

He casually opened the Coke and placed it in front of me, while talking to the person next to him, never once looking at me.

I suddenly felt like crying.

After that, our relationship eased a bit, and we started to reconnect. It's interesting, when we broke up, we didn't argue; when we made up, there were no tears. We never confessed when we got together, and later, when we married, there was no formal proposal. Everything just happened naturally... It was as if we both knew it would happen, and the moment had arrived.

After that, our relationship warmed up, and we started reconnecting. He went to work in Beijing, and I stayed in Changsha. One time, he came on a business trip, and I invited him for a meal.

That day, when I came out of work, I saw him from a distance, wearing a black trench coat, standing alone under a streetlight, smoking. The autumn wind was chilly, and he looked troubled, his brows furrowed, and behind him were the dazzling neon lights that made him appear even more solitary.