Rubik's Cube (Joshler)

Josh's POV ~

I still feel horrible about what happened with Tyler a few weeks ago. I don't know why I did it. I just really wanted to do something for some reason. Tyler says it's okay but its not, I feel like he hates me now.

"Tyler?" I say for the millionth time today. "Is this about the incident? Cause if it is I don't wanna hear it. I told you It's okay now drop it please." he said not even bothering to look away from the tv. "I can't Ty. I fricking violated you. You could sue me right now if you wanted to. Tyler I could go to jail for that. Oh my god. What if someone finds out and tells the police and then I actually do end up going to jail?! Tyler I can't go to jail! I wouldn't survive!"

"Josh calm down. Your thinking to much into this" he said finally looking toward me. "Tyler listen what I did is not okay!" I yelled causing my mom to come into the living room to see what the yelling was about.

"What did you do?" she asked. "Nothing it's fine momma dun." Tyler said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Tyler! It. Is. Not. Fine!" I screamed gripping onto his shoulder roughly and shaking him. "Josh please stop with this nonsense I'm okay. I forgive you now stop."

"But Tyler what if I didn't stop? What if I kept going? What if it happens again? Oh god! Tyler what if I do it again and I can't stop my self and I hurt you then you leave cause you hate me then I go to jail and-and- " I felt my chest start to get heavy with panic and started breathing at a fast pace. "Josh what on earth are you talking about?" mom asked.

"I did something bad to Tyler mom." I started crying. She looked wide eyed at Tyler then back at me. "I wouldn't stop mom I-" a loud sob fell from mouth. "I wouldn't listen. He wanted me to stop but I wouldn't-"

"Josh stop." Tyler said sternly. "No! Tyler! I could've hurt you! Stop acting like its not a big deal! it's a huge fucking deal!" I screamed my lip quivering. "Josh! language! Also your going to throw yourself into a panic attack if you don't calm down sweetheart. We can figure this out." mom sat next to me. "But mom you don't understand I feel like a fucking monster."

"Your not a monster Josh stop it. I forgive you okay?" Tyler said calmly, wiping my tears away and leaving a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. I nodded slightly and looked at the floor trying to catch my breath and calm down.

"God dammit!" I screamed standing up abruptly after not being able to calm myself down, I only managed to make myself more upset. I ran my ran down my face and looked at Tyler. "Ty-tyler I can't. I can't. Fuck!" I hit my fist against the wall not hard enough to put a whole in it though. "Josh calm down right now or so help me." my mom said standing up.

I start crying, no bawling. Tyler ran up and hugged me lowering me to the ground. "Shh. Josh your okay. Everything's okay. Stop worrying. I forgive you but you need to forgive yourself okay?" he said in a hushed tone, pushing my hair back.

I hid my face in his chest. "I'm so sorry Tyler my god I'm so sorry. I'm so so so fucking sorry." I cried. "Shhh. Stop apologising. It happened weeks ago. I've told you countless times that I'm okay. You had no idea that I didn't want to do that cause I didn't mind it during previous times so you thought it was okay. It was a last minute decision I made because I didn't really feel ready at that moment but that doesn't mean I never will be ready okay? Eventually I'll feel ready then we can. So please stop with this."

I nodded weakly feeling my eyelids get heavy. I leaned into Tyler more just wanting to sleep. A few seconds passed before I was out.

°~°

"Josh." Tyler whispered in my ear sitting on my stomach. "Hmm what?" I asked sleepily my eyes still shut. "It's just me and you here." he said tracing his finger over my bicep. I hummed still in a sleepy state.

"Josh..."

"Hmm?"

".... I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I'm ready." he repeated

My eyes shot open and I stared at him. "A-are you s-sure? Don't feel pressured because of what happened earlier. Please wait until your positive that your ready." I said worry lacing my tone. "I'm positive." he said. "Are you sure?" I asked again. "Yes."

"..Okay... But you need to tell me if you want me to stop. If your uncomfortable in anyway tell me to stop. I'm going to listen this time I promise and if I don't slap me or something. Fucking deck me if you want to." I said seriously. "I'm not going to hit you Joshie."

He cupped the side of my face gently, leaned down and kissed me. I kissed back. Carefully flipping us. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip and he parted them, letting me roam his mouth.

Tyler gripped onto the hem of my shirt tightly before he started to pull it upwards. I detached myself from him letting him take it all the way off. I copied his action and pulled his shirt off as well, taking a moment to admire how beautiful he is.

"What?" he asked probably feeling self conscious, he started to cover himself with his hands. I grabbed his wrists and moved them away. "Don't cover up. Your too beautiful." I mummer leaving tiny kisses across his chest.

"I'm not. I'm ugly. I have scars and stuff." he said. I frowned and grabbed his wrist. "Don't. Be. Ashamed. Of. Your. Scars."(<IMPORTANT!!) I said placing a kiss on everyone single one of them, then moved to his lips. "and don't say your ugly cause your not."

He blushed wildly and pulled me in for another kiss. I Wedged my knee between his thighs and moved my lips to his neck sucking softly causing him to let out a small moan which only encouraged me. I sucked harder leaving a small purple hue.

I smirked and kissed down his chest and happy trial, leaving the occasional hickey, stoping when I got to the waistband of his PJ pants. I looked up at him, he nodded. "Are you sure? I need to know if your 100% sure."

"Yes Josh.. Just...please." he said desperately lifting his hips slightly. I bit my lip and hooked my fingers underneath his pants and slowly slid them off leaving him in just his boxers.

°~°(A/N ~AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay be honest who hates me for leaving it here? XD)

Me and Tyler laid under the covers close to each other. Tyler had fallen asleep but I'm staring at him and thinking about how beautiful he is.

I heard a knock on the door and quickly pulled the sheets up higher. My mom came in. She looked like she was about to ask something when she stop and starred at us. "Is Tyler sleeping?" she whispered. I nodded. "Okay well were going out for supper and then going for Ice cream after if you two want to come."

"Yeah sounds good just uhh... Give us a few minutes."I whispered. "Okay." she said then left. I didn't want to wake Tyler cause he looks peaceful but I'm hungry so.

I licked up the side of his face. He groaned and looked at me with a disgusted face. "Why did you do that?" he asked. "Because I needed to wake you up." he answered. "You couldn't just shake me or something?" I shook my head no. "It's not fun that way."

"Okay.. Well want do you want?" he asked. "Mom said were going out for supper and ice cream so get up." I said crawling over him and throwing on some clothes. "Ugh finne."

He stood up and walked over to the closet looking for clothes. Me being the little shit I am smacks his ass and runs away. He yelped and threw the closest thing he could find at me. It happened to be a pillow so I'm happy for that.

"Sorry I couldn't help it." I laughed. He smiled and shook his head going back to finding clothes.