Shirou POV
I kneeled down on the shed in exhaustion "huff...huff attempt 200 was a complete fucking failure I've been trying to use different self-made poems but none of them have worked so far except for the 'I am the bone of my sword' aria part everything else I've tried has resulted in immense pain in both my nerves and head," I muttered with a groan of frustration.
What was I doing wrong? I questioned...and a reply was soon given you keep basing most of the poem as if you were fusing the different variants of Shirou Emiya from their respective routes. I said to you once that the poem must be completely about you, not the other versions of my other variants the bounded lingering will said causing my eye to twitch.
Tch...don't think that just because you helped me means that I am going to stop trying to find a way to get rid of you not to mention the fact that you were one who dragged me into this problem I snarkily thought standing back up arm extended for another try.
A self-poem that works for just me mixing around the different chants of the other versions of Emiya Shirou won't work...because I am not really Shirou Emiya so the question is who really am I as a person?
I closed my eyes most of my former self has faded away because of the void leaving me with limited knowledge of who I really once was.
Sometimes though I would dream of memories from my past life, but they don't stick around for long it's like a puzzle piece that doesn't want to stick.
"I am the Bone of my Sword.
At the end of the day, this body remains a tool for fighting.
Steel is the Vessel and Ambition my own.
This body may be forged of steel, but it burns with my own desires.
I Have Stolen and Forged Countless Weapons For my Forgotten Dream.
I freely admit I've taken techniques and weapons that were not my own all to fulfill the dream I never got to do in my last life.
No longer Bound by Life or Death.
Life and death mean nothing to me now for I have lived, died, and returned for something greater.
These Hands will Seize All That They Can Reach.
I seek to witness all things, to learn from this vast world, not to pursue an empty ideal.
This is the Law I carve into Existence.
These beliefs are my own no other will dictate my path.
My Entire Being is now... Unlimited Blade Works!" and so I imagined the same familiar world of blades shimmering beneath the night sky while letting my mana occupy the space in the shed.
Feeling cold air, I opened my eyes only to be greeted to the same world that I first saw when I confronted the lingering will the only thing missing was the black tree with said bounded will....strange.
"I finally... d-did it..." I gasped out before pain shot through my circuits, I collapsed forward barely registering the cold ground beneath me. This world of mine... I could only hold it for two minutes before my mana ran dry even then I had used a lot more in my first 200 attempts.
Still, I had done it now I just needed to hold this world for a longer time period a flash of light later Unlimited Blade Works vanishes away brining me back to the cluttered shed. Yes it was cluttered compared to how I usually kept it this was because of all the space on the wall were now filled with my originally forged weapons including the discarded NP's that I had taken from the Fuyuki River.
I leaned my head against the wall feeling really exhausted and soon I fell into the realm of dreams viewing a life that had been eroded away by the black void of death.
I could never recall most of the details when I would wake up sometimes I saw faint glimpses of 'myself' doing random jobs other times I could be seen walking through some sort of battlefield which was really weird since I don't think I would ever be out in a war zone.
However I did not dream tonight instead I found myself standing on a glass platform. Looking down I could see half an image of myself in my current body with Unlimited Blade Works in the background. The other half of the image that looked like my previous self was wearing ragged military covered in a brown tattered cloak the world behind him looking desolate.
"Interesting, isn't it? How we ended up like this instead of pursuing our dream," came a calm yet cold voice. I turn my head to face a man with familiar black hair, orange eyes, and white skin dressed in the same look as the other half of the muriel.
"Yeah but the void took most of what made me, or I guess us now...so I can't remember why we turned out the way we did...I am afraid that maybe parts of me that were eroded are being forcefully fused with the left-over shard of Shirou Emiya despite having bounded him," I replied with clenched fists.
My past self-hummed "that's part of the reason why...but the main reason you can't remember is because I haven't given you access," he explained.
I frown at this "why won't you give me access then?" I questioned "I don't think you're ready to see what our life was like...but if you really want to remember then all you have to do is show me the strength of your heart," he said bringing out a pair of futuristic looking guns with blades attached to the bottom they looked very familiar to me probably because I did use them once upon a time.
(Gunsblade pistols)
I try to scan the dual weapons only to get static "ah ah no bullshit cheating allowed here," my past self said.I grit my teeth "Forge on!" I exclaimed flicking my circuits on only to feel a massive amount of mana flooding my body causing me to let out a slight gasp of shock.
"We're in our literal soul you should have expected a higher output of mana during this battle," my past self clarified with a slight smirk of amusement at my shock.
I growl feeling a bit embarrassed "do me a favor and shut up," I said manifesting a pair of plasma blades from my palms since that took less mana than the Kiri and Tsugi blades.
"You do realize you just told yourself to shut up right?" my past self smirked his eyes orange slitted eyes glinting he then twirled his right gun before doing a universal come at me gesture with it "well how long are you going to keep a guy waiting," he teased.
"That's funny was just about to ask you the same thing," I quipped back causing him to shrug "well duh were still technically the same person but enough with the foreplay let's get this started," he said shooting a bullet composed of ice out of his right gun.
My instincts kicked in, body reacting before my mind could catch up "hrahh!" "arghh!" I grunted out cleaving the rapid fire of ice bullets with my plasma palm blades.
I then rushed forward at him reinforcement covering my legs and arms "strengthening leg and arm muscles, alternating weight to be feather light...take this Sonic Blade!" I exclaimed rapidly striking at my past self from different directions my muscles so much lighter and quicker.
"Going have to do better than that 'Shirou'," my past self-mocked blocking most of the strikes with the blade parts of his guns before lunging at me.
Plasma met unknown steel causing sparks to ignite my past self smirked and quickly did a low sweep hoping to make me slip.
I jumped back panting slightly as more bullets of different elements were fired at me my arms moved. The plasma blades glowing with more mana behind it as I ripped the overpowered bullets apart.
What I didn't account for was one of them to explode causing to fly back across the glass platform "𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞! 𝐌𝐨𝐦, 𝐃𝐚𝐝!" the memory of my past self cried out in front of two familiar looking graves.
I groan shaking my head "looks like you managed to get something out of that brief clash," my past self said with some surprise in his tone.
Dispelling the plasma palms, I projected both Kiri and Tsugu my trusty dual swords my past self looks at me this time I see a small amount of grief in his eyes "they were my first loss's, weren't they?" I asked tightening the grip on my blades.
He nodded "we tried to forget it...to bury the pain and throw ourselves into various fantasy as a distraction it's why we also wanted to travel the world so that we could have our 'fun' like adventures like all the hero's we've read/watched about," he explained with a reminiscent look.
I took advantage of that tossing both Kiri and Tsugu at him while attaching thin mana strings on their hilts causing my past self to immediately react to them while I charged at him with another twin projected copy of Kiri and Tsugu "what the?!" my past self let out a confused shout as I swung the blades.
"Steel and resolve, sharp and unbreakable,
Our will cuts the sky," I mentally chanted.
I poured all of my strength into my strikes shattering the blade parts of my past self's gun blades and I continued unleashing more strikes at him the first few at his arms then the legs before I launched him back with a round house kick that sent him flying backwards.
(A bit like this but with two swords)
More memories came back to me with each clash my biological family, their deaths, my time at the orphanage, getting adopted by my greedy abusive parents, discovering anime, reading novels and comics, finishing highschool, and leaving from my adoptive parent's house with a satisfied smile.
I pulled the mana strings attached to the first thrown pair of Kiri and Tsugu which came down accelerating at high speeds before impaling my past self's shoulders "AHHHHH!!!!" he screamed as their effects to sever and bind activated messing his arms up.
"Our blades rend the earth.
Heaven and Hell shall fall," I continued.
The memories continued the world progressed technology evolved, new forms of war were introduced into the word, I finished collage, World War 3 started forcing anyone at the age of 18 or below to become soldiers, every country was at war with one another, I became a solider and endured terrors beyond imagination, super serums were made to combat other super soldiers, America dominated every country, I lost so many friends and filled more graves then I could count, I fought, and fought for my country until I was set up to die.
All sorts of emotions went through me sadness being the most prominent one of them I feel something wet going down my cheeks.
A third pair of Kiri and Tsugu is projected this time I poured enough mana into them causing them to look like Kanshou and Bakuya's Overedge forms.
Pushing through the overwhelming pain my past self barely stood up in time to shoot more bullets at me.
The Overedge forms of Kiri and Tsugu effortlessly tore through his elemental bullets I placed the blade together placing them into a 'X' position "Sonic Blade," reinforcement magic pushes me forward as I released an 'X' slash that tore through him instantly.
"Kiri-Tsugu: Twin Blades of Ruin!" I finished.
I slowly turned back watching as my past self dropped his weapons "heh not bad," my past self said with blood coming out of his mouth as he turned around to look at me.
A look of relief covered his face "hey do me a favor...make sure to live this new life of ours to the fullest don't dwell too hard on our losses it'll only cause you to feel pain that you already went through once no need to hole yourself up on it again," he requested.
I chuckled feeling a bit hollow "trust me I won't...it's just as you said we already suffered in one life I won't let myself go through more in this second one," I replied causing the black-haired man to smile "guess this is it neh...Kouta Yusuke" he said revealing our former name.
Slowly he began to dissolve away the platform that I stood on changed showing just my current self standing in my Unlimited Blade Works while pictures of both Shinji, Sakura, and strangely Artoria Pendragon were also there.
I close my eyes and fade away in a flash of golden light.
-end of chapter ten-
Day 30
I remember everything about myself so much clearly...I feel like succumbing to all the painful emotions that dwell deep in my heart, but I've spent so much of my first life doing that, so I didn't think about the memories that caused me pain.
The dual gun blades were highly developed weapons from my original world that could fire off bullets of different elements that are made from an artificially made recipe that is only known to a few people.
My body was altered by a super solider serum that country of Russia originally developed before a copy of the serum was stolen and reverse engineered by our American government. I was the best out of all my fellow super soldier's mission after mission I came back with a flawless victory. I wanted the war to end to pursue my passion and dream so I did my best to win the war ASAP but alas what can one man do against multiple countries.
The only thing that I got was the meaningless title of hero by the people of my country the more they wanted the more I was pressured into doing. I eventually started to resent the people, the country, and humanity for their endless need of destruction and greed. It all came to an end when government set me up to die and I was at peace with that...until I lost myself in the void.
I think this is why I actually hate the ideal of Shirou and Kiritsugu Emiya so much and why I am actually so much more difficult on the boy's lingering shard.
I can't keep thinking about this any more I've got to go deal with a certain expired bug.
-from the journal entry of 'Shirou Emiya'
And there you have it Our MC has finally recovered everything about himself we learn that on his earth things are very different. Before anyone asks yes the Gun Blades are now in his UBW since those were his former weapons in his past life.