Went to Lao Feng Xiang to buy bracelets for Mom and my mother-in-law. The ones I picked weren't cheap. At the checkout, I suddenly remembered that F's niece was nearing her 100-day celebration, so I added a longevity lock to the purchase.
My wallet felt instantly lighter. I turned to Guanchao and said pitifully, "Bro, how about we split the cost of Mom's bracelet?"
"Have you not woken up yet?"
"Are you even my real brother?"
"Nope. You were picked up off the street. We didn't tell you because we didn't want you to feel inferior." He lied solemnly.
"Pfft! You were a freebie from topping up a phone plan!"
"You're the last-place prize in a scratch-off lottery!"
"You're the free gift that comes with a toothbrush!"
The saleslady giggled. "You two have such a great sibling relationship."
"In what world?!" we shouted in unison.