Tyler's POV ~
I was going to tell Josh I really was but I couldn't not after the dream I just had. It wasn't sexual or anything its just in the dream I told Josh and he got pissed and started calling me disgusting names and said he didn't want to be my friend anymore. I know Josh would never actually do that but ever since Josh caught me staring at him blurrys been back. He's not loud but he's there..he's always there.
"JoSh WouLd NeVEr LikE yOu LiKe THat EvEn iF hE waS GAy" as much as I wanted blurry to be wrong he's probably right.(but he is wrong ... If only you knew Tyler) Thats why I couldn't tell Josh that I like him or that I'm gay.... I know I said I wasn't but I've done some more thinking and I'm definitely gay. (lol obviously Tyler) Theres nothing wrong with that tho.
I tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn't so I decided to watch Netflix instead. I scrolled through Netflix til I came across Supernatural (lol thanks for the suggestion Tia[aka my fren])and decided to watch that.
I passed out about 6 episodes in. It was probably around 3am or something.
When my alarm went off I started to regret staying up to watch supernatural because now I'm super tired. I got up to get ready tho. I got dressed, ate, brushed my teeth and texted Josh. It was raining out and I knew he had to walk so I thought I'd pick him up.
Me: Hey Josh want a drive to school?
Josh: yeah sure
Me: cool I'll be there in 10mins
Josh: ok
I hopped in my car and made my way to Josh's house. Once I got there Josh came running out of the house and to the car trying to get out of the rain as quickly as possible.
"Hey" I said kinda awkwardly. I was hopping he forgot about our conversation last night " h-hey...." he trailed off a bit before talking again. "Um so a-about last night..." oh no he remembers
"What about it" I said as if I was completely oblivious to the situation
"Umm are you going t-to tell me what was going on?" he asked as I started to drive away from his house. "What do you mean?" I laughed nervously
"T-tyler you know what I mean." his voice became stern. I looked at him and swallowed harshly. "O-oh that... Um that was nothing"( sure tyler suree)
He just stared at me with a eyebrow raised and a bored expression on his face. "What?" I asked "you keep saying t-that its nothing when its obviously bothering you!" he snapped
"I'm sorry" I said quietly. " no I'm sorry Tyler... F-for snapping ..I'm just really worried about you" he sighed trying to regain himself. " I really want to tell you Josh...." I said as I pulled into a parking spot at the school and parked the car.
"S-so tell me" I took a deep breath then let it back out "i....I can't" he looked at me then looked down at his lap "o-ok" he sounded defeated.
Josh slowly got out of the car and made his way to the door of the school. I followed behind him.
When the bell rang we made our way to band. Josh hasn't said anything since the car. Did I upset him? Maybe he thinks its something he did or that I don't trust him or something. I mean I do trust him. I'm just scared to tell him.
I sat down at the piano and watched as Josh sat down at the drums. He looked up and briefly made eye contact with me before he looked away and concentrated on a piece of sheet music that lay on the stand.
He started to slowly and softly play the beat. He messed up a few times and would start over. After countless Tries he called max over and pointed to something on the paper and I'm guessing max explained what it was.
When the teacher came in we did the usual and played the piece he wanted. toward the end of class I could feel someone staring at me and I turned to see Josh playing the drums but his eyes were now locked with mine.
It felt as tho I couldn't look away. For the rest of the song me and Josh's eyes stayed locked on each others and we continued to play. I'm surprised I didn't mess up.
After the song ended people started packing up their instruments and such but me and Josh didn't move. We just kept staring at each other. That is until the bell rang and we both looked away. I then quickly made my way to history.
History went by pretty fast as did the first half of math. So it was now lunch. I made my way to the lunch room and looked around for Josh. I spotted him at the same table as yesterday and made my way over to him not even bothering to get any food.
"Hey" I said as I sat down. He looked at me with a blank expression for a few seconds before speaking "h-hi" he said quietly as his eyes locked with mine again. Why does he keep doing that?
"Are you okay?" i asked 'hi' is the only thing hes said to me since the car. "Yea I'm fine e-everthings okay" he said still keeping his eyes on me. "I can tell somethings wrong so tell me" I said . "I-i can't" he says as he looks away and takes a bite of his burger.
"Why not?" i asked sounding confused. He then looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "Sucks doesn't it." he says quietly. What sucks?...... WAIT HE JUST TALKED TO ME WITHOUT STUTTERING! HE DIDN'T EVEN STUTTER ONCE. "Josh" i whispered. "What" he asked a little confused " you didn't stutter... This is the first time I've heard you speak without stuttering"
He looked at me then looked away like he was trying to figure out if he did or not "your right" he said softly " i didn't stutter.... Wow" he went quiet for a second and a smile formed on his face. He looked up at me "I didn't stutter!" he said more excitedly
A smile made its way onto my face as well I could tell that his stuttering was something he's been trying hard to overcome.
I was staring at Josh again he looked so happy. Next thing I know his arms are wrapped around me. I could feel my cheeks heat up and when he pulled away I tried to hide my face.
" you know.." he started "your the first person besides my mom that i ever talked to without stuttering" my smile grew larger as did the heat in my cheeks.
The rest of lunch we just talked a permanent smile was on Josh's face. After lunch we went back to our classes. The rest of the day went by fast as well and next thing I know I'm making my way (downtown walking fast faces pass and I'm home bound NA NA NA NA NA NA[if you say you didn't sing that your lying])) down the hall to go home.
I spotted Josh at his locker and ran over to him "hey!" i said once i got to him he jumped and looked at me with wide eyes " tyler you scared the shit outta me" he said while laying his hand on his heart. "Sorry"
We then walked down the hall together "hey tyler?" he looked at me " yeah?" i said while opening the door and holding it for him " thanks and want to sleepover or something today?"
"Sure i just have to stop at my house first" i said while both me and him got in my car and made our way to my house.
Once there I grabbed some stuff I would need. Pjs, toothbrush, charger, etc. When I was sure I had everything I would need I told my mom where I was going and we left.
At Josh's place we played mario kart for a bit then got something to eat. While we were eating I remembered that at lunch Josh said 'sucks doesn't it' but he never told me what sucked.
"Hey Josh? I asked taking a bite of my chicken " yeah?" he said while taking a drink "at lunch you said 'sucks doesn't it'.... What did you mean by that what sucks?"
He slowly put his drink down "it sucks when you can tell there's something wrong with someone you care alot about but they won't tell you whats wrong so then your just stuck to worry about them" he said quietly while looking at me then he spoke again "you don't know whats wrong so you start worrying that something really bad happened or that you did something so you ask again cause you just want to help but they keep telling you their fine when they clearly aren't"
I looked at him realizing he was talking about me and sighed "I'm sorry.... I'm just scared to tell you.... I mean I trust you and everything but there's always the possibility that you'll take it in a bad way."
"Tyler I promise you I won't take it in a bad way please just tell me ... I want to help you" he said looking very concerned
I took a deep shaky breath before I blurted it out not even thinking when I did or realising I even said it.
A/N ~its killing me to leave it here but this chapter is already so long also my cat (the one that tried to steal my sandwich) is asleep on my tummy right now and he's so adorable when he's asleep . i mean hes adorable when he awake to but sometimes he can be a real ass.mmmmmkay love you! Bye❤
~Squish