i trusted you and you ...

Clarke***

Math was done. I'm hoping for a passing grade.

"And how did it go?"

I turned toward the voice and saw Lexa, who looked at me encouragingly. I wondered why she was here and not with Costia. I could have used her help, but I wouldn't tell her that.

"It went okay."

Lexa draped an arm around my shoulders and hugged me. "You'll be fine."

"Lexa!"

Couldn't she have come later? Lexa and I turned around. My heart ached as they kissed.

"What should we do today? Since it was the last exam, we should celebrate."

Costia looked at Lexa questioningly. Why does Lexa look like a storm is about to break?

"Cos, I was planning something with Clarke, Raven, and O today. We haven't done something together in a while. I thought that would be okay and that you'd understand."

I tuned out their conversation because I just didn't feel like dealing with it.

But someone grabbed me roughly and pulled me away, snapping me back to reality.

Lexa pulled me toward the exit. I didn't mind; it just meant she wouldn't be with Costia this time. But her grip hurt.

"Lex, please let go, you're hurting me."

Lexa stopped and let go of her arm. She looked at me sadly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hold on so tightly. I just wanted to get away. This relationship is driving me crazy. I should never have listened to you about trying this out. It's just not me."

She wiped away the tears running down her cheek. I realized I was doing exactly what I hated when people did it to me—trying to change someone.

I hugged Lexa, my heart breaking as she started to sob.

"Lexa, I'm so sorry. I thought it would be better for you than always having other girls. I should never have pushed you to do something you're not."

After Lexa calmed down, we got into the car and drove to my place.

"Do you think I should break up with her?"

Could I even answer that question, given that my personal feelings might influence my answer?

"Lexa, I can't tell you that. You have to figure it out with yourself and her. Do what your heart tells you, and no matter what you decide, I'll always be on your side."

I squeezed her hand, and she smiled at me.

"Why can't we just be together? It would be so easy."

I didn't know if she had just voiced her thoughts aloud. I didn't respond because those were often my thoughts too, but I kept that to myself.