i trusted you and you ...

***Lexa

I ran down the hallway from my room and stopped in front of the bathroom. I swung open the door, dropped to my knees, and emptied everything in my stomach into the toilet.

My throat burned, and I held onto the toilet bowl with my hands. I kept gaggeing, but nothing more came out.

My head felt foggy; I could barely comprehend anything except the pounding in my head. I felt hands guiding me into a more comfortable position and others holding my hair.

I didn't know what was happening; I didn't know what had happened. All I knew was that I wanted to shoot myself for what I had done.

"It wasn't me."

"Why can't you tell the truth, Clarke? Why didn't you tell me the truth from the beginning?" echoed repeatedly in my head.

I didn't trust her; I hurt her, abandoned her. I left her...

I pounded my fists against the toilet bowl. I wanted to destroy everything around me.

And that's exactly what I did.

With trembling legs, I stood up, ripped the toilet bowl from its hinges, and threw it across the room. I kicked and punched the tiles.

I tried to destroy everything I could get my hands on. Then, I felt two hands on me, trying to restrain me. I tried to break free, but they wrapped around my waist, lifted me up, and carried me into the shower. I felt the cold water spray over my body, and someone was gently stroking my back.

I wanted to fight against it, continue to lash out, but my strength was depleted from screaming and destroying.

But what I noticed most clearly were the tears running down my cheeks, blending with the water.

"Everything's okay. We're here," they said.

With those words, I let my body go limp and cried and screamed out everything inside me.

"I'm so sorry," was all that could be heard from my lips.