i trusted you and you ...

***Clarke

I hated this school. People shouting, throwing things around, smoking in the halls, and the teachers didn't care. The worst part was, I was one of them.

Three years ago, everything was fine, and now I'm stuck in this damn school. How did this happen? I'm not going to talk about it, and I'm not thinking about it either. I've forgotten everything, or at least I try to tell myself that.

After the incident, I had to work for a year to pay off the fine they slapped me with. My mom said she wouldn't pay for it, and honestly, I think that's fair. If you mess up, you should take responsibility, but if you didn't do it, that's another story.

Now I'm back in school to redo my graduation. This is my last year, then I'm done. Unfortunately, the graduation is split over two years. But to mention the most important thing, it wasn't just any school, no, it was a school for troubled youth.

Well, it wasn't easy. First, I didn't fit in with them, and second, I just wasn't like them. Have I changed in these three years? Definitely. Even though I tried not to get caught up in it, I now smoke, which is stupid but it calms me down. I get angry quickly and look for fights, at least on bad days. What can you do? Somehow, I have to fit in here.

I had math class now. I hate math. Since this year, we have a new teacher, and she reminded me of someone I just want to forget.

I didn't care about my graduation because I couldn't do anything with it anyway. My mom said it was important, so I'm doing this crap here.

When I entered the classroom, I went straight to the back row and sat in the seat by the window. I put my headphones in and tried to sleep.

Man, what shit I've been through. In the first year, I had three jobs:

at the grocery storebartenderwaitress at a strip club

Of course, my mom only knew about one, and I don't need to say which one, right? The money came together quickly. In the strip club, older men often touched me, and a few times it got physical, but hey, it was a well-paying job.

I didn't get along with the people at school because I didn't want anything to do with them. Maybe they thought I was better than them, but they have no idea.

Why would I do anything with them, build a friendship? Friendships are useless; they bring nothing and only hurt.

I have one person I get along with. Although I didn't let him get close to me, hey, we can pass the time nicely together. His name is Roan.

"Hey, the hour is over." Someone pushed me off the chair so that I hit the floor hard with my head.

"very funny, Ben," I said, got up again, and packed my things. The others just laughed at their stupid joke. Yes, it happens more often.

When I had all my things together, I quickly left the room. But I didn't get far because someone dragged me into the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed, two people held me tight, each on one hand and pressed me against the wall.

Not again, and I already felt a fist in my stomach. The air was pressed out of my lungs, and a pain shock went through my body.

I don't fight back anymore, I gave that up long ago. Why bother? Everyone doesn't care about me anyway.

A few punches here, a few kicks there, and then my head in the toilet - and it's all over.

With the words "Do you still think you're better than us?" they just left me there.

I sat there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths. No point in crying, it's not worth it.

The door opened, and Roan stood before me. As always, he took a cloth, wetted it, and sat down opposite me.

"You're in the girls' bathroom," I said. A faint smile played on my lips, but only briefly. He cleaned my face and set the cloth aside.

He lifted my head with his hand so he could look me in the eyes.

"We'll be out of here soon, and then we can leave this shit behind," he said.

With those words, he helped me up and took me home.

"At least it was flushed beforehand," he couldn't hold back his laughter, and so we walked home.

Yes, this is my day, repeating like a loop.