i trusted you and you ...

*** Clarke

When I woke up again, I was feeling much better. But now, the thoughts and events came rushing back, which honestly, I would have preferred to avoid. With a sigh, I pushed myself up and leaned my back against the wall.

"Well, look who's awake. Snow White has risen." I spun around quickly and nearly fell off the bed.

Seeing Raven sitting on the chair at the foot of the bed reignited my anger.

"Let me speak first, then you can slap me if you want," she said, rising from the chair and sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

"I feel like hitting you right now, if that's okay," I replied, turning away so she couldn't see my face and I couldn't see hers.

"Fair point. But please, listen to me. I won't say I'm sorry because I don't think you want to hear that," she said, sighing as I confirmed her statement.

"I don't know why I did what I did. I really don't. Maybe it seemed like it was the right thing to do at the time. But even if it was, I shouldn't have just left like that. I should have been there for you. I shouldn't have done what I did." I just stared at her, feeling my anger rise even more.

"You know what? I've decided to slap you right now," I said, and with those words, I swung, and a moment later, a slap echoed in the room.

She looked at me in disbelief, holding her cheek. I could only smile because it felt surprisingly good. But when she suddenly lunged at me, my smile vanished.

I should have known. After all, we're talking about Raven here. And so it happened that we wrestled to see who would end up on the floor or the bed first.

We didn't punch or kick each other; we just tried to hold each other down and gain the upper hand. As we rolled back and forth on the bed, it felt like old times when we used to do this when she was all wound up, and just like before, I ended up on the bottom.

But this position we found ourselves in brought back other memories, and I tried not to have another relapse.

As if she sensed something had changed, she looked at me with concern.

"Raven, please slowly release my hands, but don't get off me," I said slowly. She gently let go of my wrists and placed them beside me. "Is that okay?" Her voice was calm, and I let that calmness wash over me. It helped me start breathing regularly again.

"Yeah, I'm okay now."

But neither of us moved.

"It looks like I'm still the better one after all," she said, and that's when I broke down. Tears streamed down my cheeks, absorbed by the pillow beneath my head. When I felt a drop fall from above, I looked up and saw Raven with tears in her eyes too.

"I'm so, so sorry," she said, sinking down onto me and enveloping my body with her arms. My arms found their way around her too, and we both cried, and it felt really good.

"I missed you so much," I sobbed quietly.

"I missed you too, Clarkypu."