Party 'til you pass out / When the party's over

1.23

'I wouldn't survive if she gave up on me,' I whispered. 'Because everyone else already did. I can't do this on my own. When they pulled me out of my house to bring me here, I begged her not to let me drown. And she didn't. And now she is the only lifeline I have while floating in this troubled ocean without any land in sight, and I feel like I am holding on for dear life, trying not to let the waves wash over me and take me down. But the tides will always bring me back to her. All I see is her. And even if the life may leave my lungs, my heart will stay with her.' Dr. Baker stared at me and cocked her head a bit, taking off her glasses.

'Remember you just said you felt nothing when you looked at Alison?,' she asked. I frowned and came down from my daze. 'I don't think we can all blame that on the medication, Oliver. You just told me in the most poetic way how deep your love for Alison is. It's there, you're just scared to let it in.' We looked at each other for a while, the ticking of the clock on the wall being the only sound.

'Alright,' she then said. 'Our session has come to an end. Thank you for opening up to me.' I huffed and got up, walking to the door. 'Oh, and Oliver?'

'Oli...,' I muttered tiredly.

'Oli, then. I know what I am going to say isn't quite professional since it's not my business, neither a medically based advice but... 抖阴社区 some lyrics about what you just said, okay? You are so good with words, and what you said about Alison was beautiful.' I frowned a bit, but couldn't help to smile. I nodded.

'Maybe I will.'

*

As always, Alison had come to pick me up and take me home for the weekend. Dr. Baker's words lingered in my head while I watched Alison cook dinner for us. It's right there... Right there, you're just scared to let it in.

In an urge to feel it all, I jumped off the barstool and walked up to Alison, sliding my arms around her from behind and kissing her neck. She chuckled and pulled away a little, turning around in my arms while holding a spatula.

'What?,' she asked.

'What?,' I said back. She ran a hand through my hair and I leaned my forehead against hers.

'Why the sudden affection?'

I shrugged.

'I'm just happy to have you with me.' She smiled and kissed me.

'Me too.' Alison turned back to the stove and stirred in the pan with risotto. I put my chin on her shoulder and watched her cook, while she quietly laughed when I didn't let go of her as she did her thing.

'We're going out for lunch tomorrow,' she then said. I immediately let go of her.

'No,' I answered.

'Yes.'

'I don't want to.'

'You have to.' Alison put the spatula down and looked back at me.

'Why?,' I asked, suddenly agitated that this was decided for me, and not with me.

'Because it's time to meet up with the lads.' I felt my face drop at that.

'I'm not ready,' I muttered. 'I'm not - I can't.'

'You are, and so are they. Come on, Oli... They're your best friends, your band. It's time to come to terms with them.'

'They'll hate me.'

'They don't!'

'I'm still ashamed for my behaviour,' I threw back. Alison sighed deeply, put the stove off and was visibly contemplating what to say.