Party 'til you pass out / When the party's over

8.37pm, June 12, 2012

Hyde Park, London

Alison

Brian had called our family and friends together to throw me a picnic party at Hyde Park as a goodbye before I would leave for Warped tomorrow. The past two weeks he had been sulking and bickering at my decision, but since a day or three he had started to accept it, maybe only because he knew that his behaviour wouldn't change my mind. In fact, it only ensured me more that I had made the right choice.

He had been really dedicated to me in the past few days, maybe clingy even. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but also a bit sad to be leaving tomorrow. I would definitely miss him; he had been one of my best friends for a long time, not to mention my boyfriend for over two years, and we had never been separated for that long. I was touched that he had put so much effort in my goodbye, and when everyone had left, the two of us and Lilian kept lingering around on our plaid in the park, eating the left overs.

'Do you think you're ready to see him again?,' Lilian softly asked when Brian was throwing some things away a few meters ahead of us.

'See who?,' I asked, not really paying attention.

'Oliver, of course.' The name hit my brain like Lilian slapped me in the face. I had enjoyed tonight so much, that I hadn't even thought of him anymore.

'Well, I've seen him before. It's not like I am meeting him for the first time since then, am I?,' I answered hesitantly. I knew she was far from agreeing on me going, but I also knew she didn't really want to tell me and hold me back. Lilian shrugged.

'Guess you're right... But still. You're taking such a risk.'

'Wouldn't feel alive if I didn't,' I muttered. I knew Lilian was just as worried as Brian was about my wellbeing while being on tour with the lad who had almost cost me my education and my sanity. She wouldn't have been my best friend if she hadn't been there for me in that dark period of my life. Lilian would always be serious and respectful about it, but sometimes, when we'd have had too much wine and we were in a funny mood, she would say that she was glad I had saved her from that certain fate and we would laugh about it. After all this time, I actually could laugh about it sometimes. Everything that had happened, had found peace in my mind and I could let it go.

I was lucky to have Lilian; ever since day one of sharing a dorm room together, we had been best friends. We just clicked in a way I'd never had with anyone else before and we had shared a lot of adventures and experiences since then.

When we graduated, she quickly married Josh, and the two were still together, despite their explosive relationship. One moment Lilian could call me and rant furiously about Josh for over half an hour, the other moment she'd post pictures on Facebook of them being the perfect couple. They were, though. Josh and Lilian were a perfect match.

'Well, babe, I gotta go. I'm gonna miss you so much!' Lilian pulled me into a tight hug. 'Please take care of yourself. Don't let him drive you crazy,' she added, whispering in my ear.

'I won't, Lil.'

'You'd better.' She sighed and pulled away. 'I'm so proud of you.'

'Oh, hush...' I felt my cheeks turn pink and I smiled while looking at the ground.

'I'm serious Al, I am proud of you. You're never letting something get the best of you, and this only proves it once again.' Lilian grabbed my hands. 'I hope you have fun in America.'

'I will.'

'Good. I love you, doll face.'

'I love you too, hun.' We hugged again and I watched her walk away, her blonde ponytail sweeping on her back. Brian took my hand and pulled me down on our plaid. I kissed him and turned my face towards the setting sun. The light was warm and the park was buzzing with life; Hyde Park being the biggest park in London also meant being the busiest outside place in the huge city London was. People were hanging around, enjoying the start of summer.