Party 'til you pass out / When the party's over

Alison

I nearly tripped over one of the steps to the front door, carrying two bags of groceries and holding my phone between my ear and shoulder.

'Just come over for dinner or something, Oli would love to see you again,' I told Nicholls. 'And bring Chloe.' As I put the bags down and pulled my key out to open the door we came to a date and I smiled at the prospect of finally having people over again – quarantine had been long enough for everyone at this point.

'Alright, I'm home. I'll go see how Oliver is doing. I'll talk to you later, Mat.' We hung up and I looked around, closing the front door with my foot while dragging the bags inside. Oliver would always chuckle at me trying to carry everything in in just one attempt, but I always told him it was much more practical to be done sooner. I didn't like walking to the car two or three times when it could be done once. Luna and Oskar circled around my feet, both whining a bit.

'Yeah, I know you need to go out,' I told them. 'Oli?,' I called. It was quiet in the house – maybe he was asleep. I pulled the bags to the kitchen and started unpacking them, checking my phone when Tom texted me. Then I picked up a mango, peeled it and cut it in pieces, putting it in a bowl before picking up a fork and heading to the bedroom. Oskar was running after me and disappeared into the bedroom while Luna stayed with me, nudging me with her head against my leg.

My eyes fell on Oliver's shirt lying on the ground next to the door to his home studio. I frowned, picked it up and opened the door, walking in. Luna let out a soft bark, making me hush her. I heard her tipple off through the hallway, whining now.

'Oli?' There were papers on the floor everywhere. I stared at them for a moment, then picked up his notepad and let my eyes scan the words and sentences scribbled on it.

'You know that I'd die for, I'd cry for
You know that I'd die for you
You know that I'd breathe for, I'd bleed for
You know that I'd breathe for you
Let me see my halo, even though it's painful
I'm prepared to lose
You know that I'd die for, I'd cry for
You know that I'd die for you

This isn't love, this is a car crash
This isn't love, this is a bloodbath
This isn't love, this is a sentence
It's a bullet in the head
This isn't love, this is a car crash
This isn't love, this is a bloodbath
This isn't love, this is a sentence
It's a bullet in the head
So pull the trigger –'

I stopped reading, trying to comprehend what it meant, then my eyes fell on a small plastic bag on the floor.

'What the...' I threw the notepad back on the desk and put the bowl of mango on it, bending down to pick up the bag. I knew what it was, I just didn't want to believe it. My heart started hammering when I confirmed that it was indeed an empty ketamine bag. 'Oh no...' I dropped the bag and his shirt, turned around and rushed out of the studio, pushing open the door the bedroom.

'Oli, are you –' My voice got stuck in my throat when I saw him lying on the floor, both dogs lying next to him, softly whining. Then I let out a bloodcurling scream. 'Oliver! No, no, no. Oliver!' I fell to my knees next to him on the ground and turned him around a bit. He was pale and unconscious. 'No, don't do this to me. Not again. Please.' I started crying and turned him around with difficulty. Then I pulled his head in my arms, cradling him and checking his pulse in his neck. It was faint, just like his breathing. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed 999 with trembling hands, my frantic eyes staring at Oliver while my tears spilled on his face.

'999, what's your emergency?'

'I found my husband on the floor,' I cried. 'I need help.'

'Is your husband still breathing, m'am?'