Some Things Are Better Left Alone (phan)

(song: Heartstrings - Because I Miss You)

Dan's words seemed to echo around the room and Phil was paralyzed, unable to look away.
"I still love you, Phil. I always have."
Phil found himself incapable of replying. His voice box refused to cooperate, his mind was swirling and he wasn't sure it was all from alcohol.
"I don't think I can ever stop loving you." Dan's voice sounded odd and Phil noticed tears running down his cheeks.
He impulsively reached up and ran a thumb across Dan's cheek, wiping a tear away. Their eyes met and neither of them were able to look away.
Before he could think, Dan was pressing his lips against Phil's again. He loved the way it felt, the way they fit together, the way his heart pounded in his chest and his stomach turned somersaults. He loved the nervous, excited feeling, the way his blood seemed to course through his veins at twice the speed. Did Phil feel the same way?
Dan remembered everything from all those years ago - The many several-hour long Skype calls, the first time they met, sleeping in Phil's room, his bed...
Phil had always made him feel accepted, safe, loved... even if he hadn't loved him the way Dan had wanted.
Maybe he did now. Maybe living together, becoming successful together, achieving their dreams together - maybe all of that could have changed Phil's feelings, maybe...
Phil gently pushed him back and Dan tried to ignore the crushing pain threatening to envelope his chest.
"Dan," Phil spoke softly, "I'm sorry. You know I don't-"
"Shh." Dan interrupted, not able to bear hearing Phil say the words, "Please, don't say it. Can't we just... Can't we pretend? Just for tonight. I just need one night."
There was something about Dan's tone and the sad, pleading look in his eyes that ripped at Phil's heart. He loved Dan, but he wasn't in love with him. He never had been and Dan knew it.
It had all started as harmless fun - a few flirty jokes, some playful banta, both on a mutual path of self-discovery. Neither of them had planned on falling in love.
"Please." Dan took a step closer to Phil, his face was centimeters away.
Phil could feel the heat from Dan's breath, he heard the desperation in his voice, he saw the need in his deep brown eyes. Phil's heart raced. He couldn't deny he had missed being with Dan. All those nights they'd slept with a wall between them had been so difficult.
Dan ran a hand down Phil's arm, electricity sparked and Phil was no longer able to hold back. His lips slammed against Dan's, parting them with his tongue. Their breath came hot and fast.
Phil unbuttoned the shirt Dan was wearing and ran his hands over Dan's torso. Dan moved his lips from Phil's mouth to his neck as Phil slowly undressed him, his entire body ignited at every touch. He had wanted to feel this way again for so long, he didn't care if Phil never fell in love with him, he just wanted to be close to him forever.
He pulled Phil closer to the bed and pushed him onto it. He lay next to him and their lips collided again as their hands explored once well-known territory. They moved in sync with each other without the need for words, like a well rehearsed dance.