Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

You laid down on your bed and plugged in your music. You listened to it as you thought. Music calmed you. It was one of your old passions, after all. Hank was right. You'd loved to sing before. So much had happened before... 

You stayed in your room for a good hour. You couldn't sleep anymore. You wondered what Connor was even doing. It's not like he had much to do in your house. He's probably petting the cats or something.

You got up and headed out of your room. You saw him sitting on the couch. His eyes were closed and you wondered what he was doing. You saw that his LED was yellow. Was he thinking? You weren't sure. You walked over to him and stood there for a moment. You were about to get his attention, but...you couldn't. 

Instead, you grabbed a sticky note. You quickly scribbled something down on it and you set it on the table in front of him before heading back to your room. You closed the door and you made sure that it made noise. You knew Connor would hear it and he'd respond. You only hoped he'd notice your note.

Connor's POV

I had tried to go into sleep mode, but instead, I was back in the Zen Garden. I assumed Amanda wanted to speak with me. I found her in the center of the garden. It was night time and the lights were what illuminated the area.

"Connor, I've been expecting you."

"Hello, Amanda. Is there a reason you wished to see me?"

"I was curious why you went to see Ms. (L/n)." She said.

"I do not have anything to look into at the moment. I thought it would be beneficial if I went to check on her. It's clear she has been in emotional stress as of recent events."

"I see. And why did you tell her that you needed her?" I paused. I knew the reason, but I was nervous about what Amanda would say. I quickly came up with another logical explanation.

"I had to say something or she would have been very difficult to work with as time went on and the investigation continued. Also, it was not a lie. I do need both of them in order to solve the investigation. I would never be allowed to do it without human supervision." I told her. She looked at me for a moment.

"Very well. What do you think about her reactions?" 

"I believe that she is neutral with me, but I cannot be sure. She seems...distant. Conflicted. I cannot say for certain." I explained.

"Connor, you and Lieutenant (L/n)'s relations will matter not when the investigation is over. You must focus on only one thing. Solve this case, and let (L/n) be. There is nothing you can do for her now. She's chosen her path and you must follow your mission. That's all the matters." She told me. I nodded, but something inside of me wasn't sitting right with what she had said. 

"I will solve this case, Amanda," I told her. She nodded and left. I left the garden and I was about to put myself into sleep mode, but I heard a door shut. I opened my eyes and I looked around. Everything looked the same in the household, but then I spotted something new on the coffee table in front of me. A little blue sticky note. I picked it up and read it. 

'Hey, Cyberlife must be a boring place to go to at night, so...I guess you can stay with me. It's not much, but it's home. 

Goodnight, Connor. - (Y/n)'

I was stunned. I looked up at her door and then...there was something warm in my chest. It was strange but powerful and...even nice. I couldn't help smiling a little. I...I wanted to smile. She really wasn't like other humans. She was different. She was special. I CAN help her. I know I can. I know I should focus, but she can help me and so can Lieutenant Anderson. I DO need them. I looked at the note again. I set it down and I laid down on the couch to go into sleep mode. I closed my eyes and I got ready to 'rest'. As well as an android could, at least.

I thought about her and I just couldn't get the tiny smile off my face. I looked over toward her door again. 

"Goodnight, (Y/n)," I said. I went into sleep mode. As I did, I found myself somewhere else. I looked at the sunset before me. It was a view humans would call 'breathtaking'. I didn't need to breath, so I would just have to stick with beautiful. It was nice. It was calm. I wondered if (Y/n) would like the view. I then realized that I was enjoying the sunset. I shook my head to clear it. No. I'm an android. A machine. Machines don't feel. Machines aren't meant to feel. This is all nothing. Just a small bug. I can handle it. I can fix it even! 

I told myself. I opened my eyes and looked back at the view. I tried to convince myself it was just the sun and colors. That's it. It didn't matter. Why should it matter to me? It had nothing to do with my investigation. It didn't matter. Yet, I couldn't look away. I was stuck in place and seemingly in time. I had no idea why I couldn't look away. I just...couldn't. It was like it was impossible. Like I had no control over my actions.

Maybe there was a reason for that though. At the time, I didn't know what it was. I couldn't understand it. No matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, things were changing. Everything was changing. I had no idea how much of it was up to me. I didn't know where it all would go. I wanted to be prepared for it and I thought I was, but that wasn't true either. All I could do was make my choices. What they were going to be...not even I knew anymore. 

I pushed it all aside. I breathed in and out to calm myself, something I never did. I opened my eyes again and they widened. It was like the sunset was even more astonishing. I knew I should care, but I wanted to appreciate it. So, I let it slide. I let myself forget what my supposed to's where and I smiled a little again.

"It really is a nice sunset."