Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Connor's POV

It had been a few days and (Y/n) had been forced to call in sick. She'd been having bad reactions to certain foods and we didn't want to chance it happening at work. I had been staying at home too. I wanted to be there in case she needed me. (Y/n)'s emotional levels had been wavering too. I was really starting to get concerned about her well-being.

She'd been asking for some different foods as well. I wondered if she was branching out so that way she still had options since some foods weren't working anymore, but I didn't question her about it. She'd been tense lately too. 

I didn't want to risk her stress levels going any higher than they already were. Most days it was in the low forties but some days it had been in the sixties. Her normal levels were usually in the mid-twenties to the low thirties. I was running out of ideas on how to help her.

(Y/n) had slept in today. I felt bad thinking about it. She couldn't even get out of bed at a normal time? I was only getting more and more concerned. What could possibly be wrong with her? Perhaps it WOULD be best to schedule a visit to a doctor. I wondered. No, I'd have to talk to her. I suppose I could try to convince her. I decided I would ask again once she was awake.

I fed the cats and I decided to do some cleaning. There wasn't much else to do. As I was cleaning, I wondered if (Y/n) would like some soup. After all, it was good for humans during illnesses. I just hope she can keep it down. 

I began to make her some soup. If she wasn't up by the time it was finished, I would give it to her in bed. She needed to eat something after all. I hummed to myself as I made it for her. (Y/n) had told me that she liked my voice so I had been practicing in small ways.

"It's so cute when you do that." I turned as I saw her standing in the entryway of the kitchen. She looked tired and she was leaning against the wall slightly, but the contented smile on her face was enough to tell me that she was alright for the most part. I smiled softly at her. 

"I was just making you something soothing to have this morning. I hope that's alright." 

"Connor, you don't have to ask if it's alright." Her arms slipped around me from behind and she nuzzled her face into the back of my shirt. "Thank you." Her muffled murmur was hard to make out, but I smiled over my shoulder at her.

"Anything for you, love." I saw her blush, but she didn't react beyond that. Her eyes looked dim even though her face was bright pink. I could tell she was still exhausted. 

I soon finished making her soup and she let go of me as I set it down on the dining table. She gave me a thankful smile. I went to go watch TV as she ate. I noticed how slowly she blew on it. She seemed...distracted. I predicted it to be her exhaustion. I was glad that she didn't instantly gag at it though. It seemed that she wanted to savor it. I didn't mind.

I watched TV as the cats all happily took their places all around me, happily watching and listening with me. Lucifer seemed determined to climb over his blind brother to take his spot next to me. Zayree mewled as his brother tumbled over him, but they both cuddled up together after Lucifer had gotten comfortable. 

Soon enough, (Y/n) was done with her food. She sat down on my other side and leaned against me. I smiled, wrapping an arm around her to hold her closer. She relaxed, happy to be next to me. I was happy to be next to her as well.

"Connor?"

"Hm?" I looked at her as she spoke up. Her eyes glimmered as she looked into mine. It seemed as if she wanted to tell me something important. I was confused, but she spoke again before I could question her about it.

"Y-you know I love you, right?" I smiled.

"Yes, of course I do. You've been concerned with this a lot lately. Is something bothering you? Did I do something?" I asked.

"N-no, you...y-you didn't do anything." She replied. I made her meet my gaze again.

"Are you worried that something like what happened with Shane will happen?" I asked. Her eyes widened and I saw the fear in them return at full force. Tears were in her eyes in seconds. I was a bit startled by this, but I pulled her into a hug, comforting her as best I could. "Shh...it's alright. (Y/n), you know I would never hurt you like that. I'm not going to leave you. I love you. He wasn't meant for you and he wasn't good enough for you. I still don't think I'm the perfect partner, but I will never do what he did. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." 

She cried as she hugged back, gripping the back of my shirt as if when she let go I would disappear. I sighed and just let her get it out. I rubbed her back gently, doing what I could to calm her. She gets sick and she starts to worry about stuff like this? Maybe this illness is stress-related. We don't have any data on how illness works in her body, after all. She's unique. I wonder if the Nickle family has ever had problems like this. I wish I knew where they were. 

I noticed (Y/n)'s cries had faded and I slowly pulled back. She still didn't look into my eyes, but I cupped her cheek and raised her head so I could kiss her. It was calm and gentle, but I knew that was what she needed. I pulled back, brushing her hair out of her eyes. She finally looked at me and I wiped the rest of her tears away. "Please, don't cry anymore, my love. I hate seeing you like this. I want you to smile. Can you smile for me?" I asked, giving her a smile myself. Her lips quivered as if she wanted to, but she'd forgotten how. I frowned as she shut her eyes again, unable to meet my request.

"I-I'm sorry!" The tears returned and I held her again as the droplets fell onto my shirt. I didn't even notice it. 

"Shh...I'm here," I told her. "I'm here."

Your POV

I can't keep this locked inside me anymore! I have to talk to somebody. I need to tell Gavin the truth. I can't do this on my own! I...I have to tell all of them the truth. I-I no longer have any other choice. C-Connor...f-forgive me...please, please, please forgive me. I don't want to lose you. I-I...I can't lose anybody else again and...I don't know how I would ever survive this without you.