Lost Loving Souls (Connor x Reader)

Chapter 87

"Detective?" WHAT THE HELL!? My luck hated me if that wasn't obvious already. I looked over at him.

"What?" He looked a little surprised, but then he looked away again. 

"Nevermind. It was nothing." I was honestly relieved that had worked. After that, I stood up. I grabbed my stuff and turned my back to him. 

"I'm going home." He looked up at me, still sitting down. 

"Alright. I'll be here in the morning." He said. I walked away without a word, but I heard him mutter something as I left. "Goodnight, Detective." I felt another jab in my chest, but I forced it down and kept walking. I don't think he actually meant for me to hear that, but the station was so quiet, it was almost hard not to.

I got to my car and quickly locked myself inside. My hands gripped the wheel so tight as tried to contain myself. 

"Fuck it! What the hell is wrong with me!?" I felt anger at first, but then it numbed into guilt. "Why the hell do I feel so bad about this? I...I shouldn't feel bad about this." After taking a moment to calm down, I sighed and started my car before heading home. 

Once I was there, I went inside and I noticed that I wasn't greeted by Cheezy. I looked around for him. I couldn't find him anywhere. "Cheezy? Cheezy! Here, kitty!" I called. I grabbed some food for him. "I got dinner! Come on, boy!" I knew he had been acting weird lately, but I thought it was because of Collin. I thought he was sad that I didn't let him come over anymore. I had been very wrong. 

I kept looking an I found him on my bed. I walked over to him. "There you are, you lazy cat. Come on, I have food in the kitchen for you. Wake up, you big spoiled ball of fur." I pet him, shaking him slightly, but I got no response. I frowned. "Cheezy?" I saw his ears move, so that relieved me. "Heh, don't scare me like that, buddy." He looked at me and I saw how unhappy he looked. I frowned. "What's wrong?" He got up and I followed him to the door. I let him outside and I kept following him. I let him out a few times, but he was mostly an indoor cat.

I followed him and I was shocked when I saw another cat laying beside my backyard fence. I knelt down and picked it up. It was smaller than Cheezy, but it was still alive. I took it inside and I began to clean it up. I could soon make out that it was a Siamese. Cheezy just laid on the floor with his ears back. "It'll be alright, buddy. We'll fix your friend up. I promise." He lifted his head and looked at me. I smiled a bit. 

I kept cleaning the cat and I soon found it was a girl. She let out a tiny meow and I just felt my heart melt. I saw that she had a collar on, but it was slightly torn where the tag was supposed to be. "Don't worry, we'll find your home." She opened her eyes and I saw how bright her blue eyes were. They reminded me of... I shook my head. No! Snap out of it! I scolded myself. 

I soon finished cleaning her and I set her down. Cheezy instantly started licking her. I chuckled. "Don't get too attached, pal. She's gonna have to go home eventually." His ears flattened from a moment, but they went up again as he kept licking her, smoothing out her fur. She was very cute if I was being honest.

Then, the doorbell rang. I looked at the time. It was 10:47 at night. Who the hell would be here at this time? I walked over and opened the door. I was stunned. "What the fuck are you doin' here, tin can?" I growled.

"I wanted to speak with you." He said. I eyed him for a moment before sighing and letting him in. He spotted the cats and looked interested. 

"Just found her outside. Cheezy was acting strange so I followed him to her. I'm gonna try to find her home."

"She doesn't have a home." I looked at him, confused.

"She has a collar." 

"She's been living outside for two months. I don't know the cause, but she was abandoned." He explained. I was surprised. I looked at her. 

"Guess I'm keeping her after all."

"Satin." I raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Her name. I like Satin."

"Who said you could name her?" I retorted. His eyes widened, but he looked away, saying nothing. I frowned again. I sighed. "Fine. Satin it is. I'm fuckin' horrible at naming things anyway." I thought I saw him smile a bit, but I ignored it. "So? What did you even want to say to me?" He frowned.

"I wanted to say...I'm sorry." I paused. "I...I didn't mean to lose my temper. I was upset because of the comment you made when (Y/n) arrived. I know it was foolish to get like that over something so small. I'm sorry that I did that to you." I looked at him, stunned and at a loss for words.

"Since when does somebody ever say they're sorry to me?" I didn't mean to say that out loud, but too late now. Collin looked at me.

"Nobody ever feels bad if they mistreat you?" 

"What? Of course not! I'm the prick! I'm the guy that everybody stays away from! You haven't figured that out yet?

"Can I be honest, Detective?"

"About what?" I asked.

"I don't mind being your partner." I was shocked.

"Liar. Everybody hates being my partner. It's why I never have one for more than what...a week and a half I think is the record?" Collin sighed.

"There's a reason why I'm like this, Gavin." I looked at him.

"What?"

"Why I don't have many emotional responses to things. Why I always keep a straight face. It's because...I don't have memories to shape me. I don't really know who I am. I don't know how to act. I have a slight resemblance to Connor's personality, but...I was originally made to be a killing machine. When I was first being worked on, I was built to be ruthless. To make sure that deviants would never exist again. Now that my objective has changed...I don't really know...I don't know what to do." I was stunned.

"I...I never...I never thought of that." I admitted.

"I know. How could you if I never said anything?" He asked. I looked away, scratching my neck awkwardly. "But that's why I can go through with being your partner. I was made to be assertive and stronger, so I can handle the insults. I can handle the orders and threats. I'm not afraid of that, but...then I started to get to know you. I believe the only reason for that is because you were still open since you were grieving. The night we both talked...I actually felt something. I hadn't felt anything toward you before a few days prior to that night. I thought...I thought I had a friend. Not a colleague, but a friend. It was something I never thought I'd have and I...honestly didn't want. I didn't need someone to be my friend, but once I felt I had something like that...I didn't want to let go of it. So...when you said that...I felt...betrayed in a sense, I suppose. I'm so new to all of this. I...I never meant to hurt you. So...I'm sorry." My heart was pounding. Nobody had ever treated me like this before. Not even (Y/n) went to this extent. I never really let her. I never let her see my vulnerable side. I only told her about it. Sometimes it slipped through, but hardly ever. I had never felt this before. 

"I...why the hell are you being so nice to me? Nobody...ever treats me...like this." Collin grabbed me out of nowhere and pulled me toward him. 

"I think you know why, Gavin. I know you're feeling it too. Your heart rate is elevated and your face is red." I blushed even harder.

"G-get the fuck away from me, tin can." Collin chuckled. 

"Your body contradicts your words, Detective." I glared at him slightly, but I couldn't hide it that well.

"I-if you think I'm feeling any of that shit, you're-MHP!" He kissed me. My heart was racing. I had never actually had a real kiss. I had kissed a few girls, but...none of them ever felt like this. None of the felt...so right. I let my guard fall and kissed back. After a moment, he pulled away, leaving me breathless with my face brighter and hotter than ever. He chuckled.

"You're cute when your flustered, Detective." I looked away.

"S-shut up and kiss me again, you idiot." He grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as he could before his lips met mine again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and that was the end of it. My choice had been made and there was no going back. I'm in love with an android. I mentally laughed at myself. I'm such a fuckin' hypocrite.