Party 'til you pass out / When the party's over

1.10

I had watched this scene multiple times before, but this morning Austin seemed off. He didn't smile as wide as he used to, he just kept staring at Alison and biting his lip while humming to her words.

When they reached the bus, I stretched and got up the steps inside, leaning against the cabinets next to the door to listen to their conversation.

'Thanks for breakfast,' Alison's voice said.

'You're welcome.' Some shuffling of feet, and Austin coughed. 'Hey eh, I need to go, I have sound check in an hour.'

'Alright...' I peeked around the corner and watched Alison get on her toes to hug him, while he hesitantly pulled her into him. He softly kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her skin and closing his eyes for a moment. Alison let him, and I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Or maybe jealousy?

'Aust?'

'Hmm?'

'Nobody needs to know about last night, okay?' He pulled away from her and looked down, shaking his head.

'No... I think it's better if not.'

'Alright... I'll catch you later today.' Alison waved and turned around, running up the few steps and walking straight into me. 'Woah... Sorry, Oliver.'

'Where have you been last night?,' I asked, pulling her back by her arm as she passed me. Her eyes met mine and I saw a quick flash of regret in her eyes. She pulled her arm free from my grip.

'With Austin,' she said, turning around again.

'Why?' I followed her through the bus until she came to a halt at her bunk, ignoring the loud sounds of the lads playing a video game in the back.

'Because I wanted to talk to him and eh... It got late so I stayed over.' Alison was avoiding my eyes and started rummaging through her stuff, getting ready to take a shower.

'OMAM's bus isn't that far from ours,' I said. 'You could've come home. We were worried.' Alison sighed and threw an annoyed look at me.

'Since when do you care where I am staying the night?'

'What happened last night?'

'What?' She looked a little on guard at my question, and I knew I was on to something.

'I heard you say to Austin that it was better if no one knew about last night. What happened?' Alison stared at me in shock, not breathing for a moment.

'Nothing,' she then answered, bringing her focus back on her clothes. She ignored me while gathering her stuff and locking herself in the shower cabin. I sighed and plopped down on my bunk, running my thoughts about last night. I had a feeling some shit went down, and I had an idea about what it could be.

The rest of the day the tension between me and Alison was so thick you could cut it with a knife. She seemed to avoid me while I wanted to find out what had happened between her and Austin. Not that I didn't have any idea about that...The thought of her sleeping with him made me furious, and the more I thought about it, the more agitated and anxious I grew. Austin and her had both told me multiple times that there was nothing going on between them - and yet she had spent the night with him, I was sure of it. I just wanted her to tell me.

The only moment I forgot about the whole thing was that thirty-five minutes I spent on stage that afternoon, but as soon as my eyes met hers backstage again, the feeling came back. I needed something to calm me down, but my stash was gone and the guy I used to buy from wasn't here either. When I was getting dressed after taking a shower, my eyes fell on Alison's backpack and I bit my lip in contemplation. Looking around if no one was near, I closed the door to the front lounge and quietly opened the side compartment of her bag that I knew she kept her alprazolam in. The pills were for anxiety, and that was not totally the thing I was suffering from now - maybe partially -, but at the moment I would take anything that could make me feel numb.