FNAF text messages (Fazbear and friends edition)

Freddy - So what exactly did you mean at the end of last episode?

Me - *tilting my head* Isn't that for the viewers to decide?

Bonnie - WHAT VIEWERS?!

Foxy - Lass, ye be driving us up the wall with ya nonsense

Me - Isn't this all scripted?

Chica - Someone needs to get her some mental help quickly

Uzi - *wielding a railgun* On it boss

Pomni - NOT THAT MENTAL HELP UZI

Caine - *producing a pencil and notepad* I will be your therapist today, along with assistant therapist Bubble!

Mike - NO

Caine - No?

Mike - JUST NO

Me - *writing in a notebook* Pizza shall rain from the sky in 5 seconds

SYSTEM ALERT - PIZZA IS RAINING FROM THE SKY

Ragatha - *glancing at the clock* That was exactly 5 seconds...

Zooble - *visibly confused* How were you able to predict that?

Me - *writing more stuff* Zooble's limbs shall straighten when Jax makes a bet

Jax - Let's test that, shall we?

Jax - 500,000 Faz coins says Zooble's limbs straighten when I finish this sentence

Zooble - *has straight limbs forever* There's something wrong with her

N - *peeking at the notebook and wishing he hadn't* Guys, everything that's happened...its all written here

N - It also says that in 10 seconds Astro will walk through the front door and Uzi will shoot him in the face with her railgun

Astro - Hey guys wanna learn about stars and co---

SYSTEM ALERT - UZI HAS KILLED ASTRO WITH ONE SHOT OF HER RAILGUN

Uzi - *looking at her railgun, immediately concerned* I wasn't planning that

Me - Too bad, the viewers decided it should happen

Freddy - WHO ARE THESE VIEWERS YOU KEEP BRINGING UP BUT NEVER EXPLAIN

Me - Freddy, you may want to rethink your words. Right now, the viewers are deciding whether you are canon or not

Freddy - OF COURSE I'M CANON THIS PLACE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER ME

SYSTEM ALERT - FREDDY IS NOW CONSIDERED NOT CANON. THE PIZZERIA NOW BELONGS TO UZI AND N

Uzi - Sweet, guess I better make some changes--

SYSTEM ALERT - THE PIZZERIA IS NOW A BLACK HOLE GENERATOR

Bubble - OKAY WHAT THE FLIP WAS THAT

Me - The viewers decided that the pizzeria shall be a black hole generator, so it is now

Chica - YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THE PIZZERIA

SYSTEM ALERT - THE PIZZERIA BEING A BLACK HOLE GENERATOR IS NOW CANON

Jax - I'm betting 10,000 Faz coins this somehow gets worse

SYSTEM ALERT - SOMEONE YEETED ZOOBLE AND GANGLE OUT OF EXISTENCE. THEY WILL FOREVER FLOAT SIDEWAYS THROUGH 18 DIMENSIONS

Freddy - WHY ARE YOU DECIDING EVERYTHING

Me - Its not up to me, Freddy. Its up to the viewers

Lababy - IMMA POUND SOMEONE'S FACE IN SOON

Bonnie - Great. Now not only the world is ending, Lababy is here to make it worse

Lababy - What do you mean the world is ending

Foxy - *pointing to me like I did something wrong* AYE, SHE BE ALTERING REALITY AND CLAIMING ITS THE FAULT OF YE VIEWERS LASS

Lababy - So?

Foxy - WHY  DON'T YE CARE LASS

Bonnie - *doesn't really care* I mean, you kinda had it coming for you. She ends the world everyday

Chica - Fair point

SYSTEM ALERT - MIKE SHALL FOREVER BE A SEAL. LONG LIVE MIKE THE SEAL

Mike - *flopping in anger* WHY DID YOU DEICIDE THIS

Me - *warping out of existence to go see the viewers* If you want, I could make it worse

Gangle - WHERE THE HELL DID SHE GO

Me - *warping back into existence* I went to see the viewers to consult something with them

Zooble - Lemme guess - Jax shall be praised as king or something?

Me - I don't understand how you predicted next episode, but no

SYSTEM ALERT - MIKE BEING A SEAL IS NOW CANON

Mike - I DON'T DESERVE TO BE TORTURED BEYOND MY WILL

Starshine - Too bad, you kinda signed up for it when you signed the contract to work here

SYSTEM ALERT - THE ETERNAL SEAL DANCE PARTY SHALL FOREVER BE CANON

Lababy - *visibly upset* All my hard work for nothing

SYSTEM ALERT - I HAVE ENDED THIS EPISODE BECAUSE WHY NOT. SEE YOU NEXT EPISODE

Mike - WE NEVER EVEN FOUND OUT WHO THE VIEWERS WERE

Me - *shrugging and walking away* Y'know, just some seals

Everyone screams loudly as I walk off with Lababy, discussing how she can blow up Mike's sanity next episode