Freddy - There's no way chat
Starshine - I would very kindly like to know WHO THE FLIP BELIEVES IN UNICORNS
Bonnie - *pointing to a group of little girls* Them apparently
Shelly - Can I just tell them?
Chica - Ummm....that doesn't sound very irrational Shelly
Little Girl #1 - I LOVE UNICORNS
Little Girl #4 - I WANT FREDDY TO BE A UNICORN
Freddy - Now now, you can't just decide my fate kids, I'm destined to be the biggest brand in showbiz history
Me - *glaring at Freddy while scribbling furiously in my notebook* Don't worry girls, I'll make it happen!
Little Girls - OH MY GOD FREDDY'S GUNNA BE A PRETTY PINK UNICORN WITH SPARKLES EVERYWHERE, A SILVER HORN AND SILVER HOOVES
Ragatha - Y'know, this just sounds like Thelma the Unicorn
Freddy - *death staring Ragatha* Don't go giving 'em ideas Ragatha, otherwise I'll kick you out of this series forever
Bonnie - And he also means you won't be in the sequel either
SYSTEM ALERT - BY THE DECISION OF THE LITTLE GIRLS, FREDDY SHALL BE THELMA THE UNICORN. AND IT SHALL REMAIN CANON FOREVER
Jax - *laughing and flipping a Faz coin* Okay, this is comedy GOLD. Who wants to bet Freddy will never recover from this?
Universe - I'll bet 100 million Faz coins
Foxy - AYE, WHY THE FLIP BE THE UNIVERSE SPEAKING LASS
Universe - I exist. I made this reality. Freddy shall be a unicorn to serve his time for crimes against the universe
Freddy - *lifting his wings* I mean, at least I can fly I guess
Uzi - LET ME GET RID OF THOSE REAL QUICK
SYSTEM ALERT - UZI HAS SHOT OFF FREDDY'S WINGS MID FLIGHT. FREDDY HAS FACE PLANTED INTO THE FLOOR
Freddy - UZI WHY THE FLIP WOULD YOU DO THAT
Chica - Ummm.....guys? Lababy's destroying the world again, and we've got company. They look like your ancestors or something Freddy because they're all unicorns
Lababy: standing atop a crumbling skyscraper, laughing wildly I AM NOW THE ARCHITECT OF DESTRUCTION!
Twilight Sparkle: screaming WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
Rainbow Dash: dodging debris DOES IT MATTER?! THIS PLACE IS COLLAPSING!
Universe: Reality stability at -12%.
Bubble: spinning out of control HOW DO WE HAVE NEGATIVE STABILITY?!
Freddy: facepalming You know what? Fine. This is fine.
Jax: laughing hysterically while throwing Faz coins into the void AHHHH, I'M ALL IN—BETTING ON TOTAL REALITY FAILURE!
Foxy: gripping onto collapsing rubble AYE, BE THIS THE END?!
Caine: grinning HOHOHO, IF IT IS—I'M GONNA ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT!
Pinkie Pie: bouncing through flaming debris WOW, THIS IS LIKE A PARTY BUT WITH WAY MORE EXPLOSIONS!
Applejack: horrified THIS AIN'T A PARTY—THIS IS A DISASTER!
Twilight Sparkle: trying to cast a spell I CAN **FIX THIS—**WAIT, WHY IS MY MAGIC TURNS INTO CONFETTI?!
Universe: Your powers mean nothing in my domain.
Fluttershy: crying WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE ENJOY WATCHING US SUFFER?!
You: calmly sipping a drink Regular Tuesday.
Ragatha: pointing aggressively at the sky OKAY, I'M DONE—UNIVERSE, WE NEED ANSWERS!
Universe: No.
Rarity: collapsing dramatically I—I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE!
Freddy: casually adjusting his silver hooves If you think this is bad, try waking up as a literal unicorn one day and see how you feel.
Lababy: actively punching reality WHO CARES—LET'S MAKE IT WORSE!
SYSTEM ALERT: LABABY HAS BROKEN TIME ITSELF. PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE ARE NOW ALL HAPPENING AT ONCE.
Twilight Sparkle: watching multiple versions of herself appear OH NO, NO NO NO—WHY ARE THERE TWELVE OF ME?!
Bonnie: panicked OKAY, MAYBE WE SHOULD ACTUALLY STOP THIS?!
Chica: running from a floating refrigerator that shouldn't exist WHO CARES ABOUT REALITY—WHY IS THAT FRIDGE CHASING ME?!
Universe: Final stability report: nonexistent.
You: calmly watching the madness unfold Just another Tuesday.
YOU ARE READING
FNAF text messages (Fazbear and friends edition)
FanfictionWelcome, one and all, to FREDDY FAZBEAR'S PIZZA! WHERE THE WORLD ENDS EVERYDAY! Yes, you heard that right. The world ends everyday. Its kinda a normal thing for my crew, so take it up with them if you can't handle it. They instigated and started the...
