FNAF text messages (Fazbear and friends edition)

Pomni - RAGATHA WHY IS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TOUCHED ON FIRE

SYSTEM ALERT - RAGATHA'S HAIR IS NOW FIRE. EVERYTHING SHE TOUCHES WILL SET ON FIRE

Ragatha - *poking Jax* Guess Jax is on fire now

SYSTEM ALERT - JAX DEFIES EVERY SENSE OF NORMALITY SO HE IS NOT ON FIRE

Jax - Guess the universe has me backed up

Universe - No

Caine - *twisting* No?

Universe - Just no, Caine

Caine - Hmph. I guess I'll just go annoy Bubble

SYSTEM ALERT - RAGATHA HAS DELETED POMNI AND BUBBLE

Caine - YOU DELETED MY PET ROCK

Ragatha - Umm...Bubble is a bubble, not a rock

Bubble - *from the void* I IDENTIFY AS A GRAVITY DEFYING ROCK

Universe - I refuse to let gravity defy you Bubble

Bubble - COME THE FLIP AT ME YOU AI REJECT

Pomni - OK LETS JUST EASE UP ON THIS FIGHTING GUYS

Freddy - *still a unicorn and trying hopelessly to call someone* CAN SOMEONE PUT IN THE PHONE NUMBER FOR MY THERAPIST? THESE HOOVES ARE REALLY ANNOYING

SYSTEM ALERT - FREDDY FAZBEARS PIZZA HAS BURNED TO THE GROUND

Lababy - Awww, thats my job!

Starshine - Ummm.....anyone want to throw someone under the bus?

Everyone points to Ragatha, whos dress is singed with burn marks

Ragatha - I didn't mean to! Lababy LITERALLY held a piece of my hair to the wall and set the wall alight with my hair!

Uzi - Aww, you stole my job!

Freddy - THE PIZZERIA WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BURN FOR ANOTHER WEEK

Lababy - So technically, I rescheduled the burning of the pizzeria with Ragatha

Ragatha - I AM NOT A OBJECT TO BE USED FOR DESTRUCTIVE PURPOSES

Me - *pointing to the contract and nodding* I mean, you kinda are. Its all outlined in the contract I have right here

Bubble - WHERE THE FLIP DID YOU PRODUCE A CONTRACT FROM

Me - My secret vault located in the floor, where d'ya think Pomni has been for the past few episodes?

Pomni - I REFUSE TO COME OUT UNTIL THE MADNESS IS OVER

Lababy - Darn. Guess you're gunna be in there for eternity Pomni

Pomni - *screaming* WHY DOES LIFE HATE ME SO MUCH