Is It Okay if I Call You Mine? (formerly Complicated)

Cassie's POV

I am sitting on the shore once again, staring at the beach. It has been three weeks since I left Manila. Three long weeks without Blake, and I terribly missed him. I didn't know that losing someone you love can be this painful. Every day, I am afraid to wake up knowing that I'll just spend the day thinking of him. The more the days passed by without him, the harder I convinced myself that leaving him was the right thing to do.

And then memories of that night came back...

Blake took me home that night. I was about to go to bed when I heard a knock on my door. Expecting it to be Blake, I excitedly left my bedroom to open the door.

"And here I am thinking you don't want to spend the night..." I didn't continue what I was about to say. I was surprised to see her standing right at my doorstep.

"Aubrey?" I asked, sounding confused.

"Hi Cassie. May I come in?" she asked. I was not used to this kind of Aubrey. She looked sad and tired. Gone was the sparkle in her eyes, and the smile that made everyone in the room smile as well. I couldn't help but feel concerned.

"Sure." I opened the door wide open so she could come in. I led her to the living room and gestured on the sofa. "Have a seat." I offered her.

"Thank you." Aubrey said softly. She seated on the sofa, and I heard her sobbing.

"Aubrey, are you okay? What's wrong?" I touched her back to comfort her. Got a tissue from the side table and handed it to Aubrey.

She got the tissue, "No, I'm not. I need your help." and wiped her tears.

"Huh? What for? I'm confused. What's wrong? Are you in trouble with your dad again?"

"I will be if you don't help me with my problem."

"What is it, Aubrey? What does it have to do with me?"

Aubrey sniffed, "I'm pregnant, Cassie, and Blake is the father."

I didn't think I heard her right. "What?"

"You heard me right. I don't need to repeat what I said."

I didn't know what to say. To say I was shocked was an understatement, "Why? How?"

"You know how a boy got a girl pregnant. I'll spare you with the details.

"I mean, you broke up 2 months ago."

"I am 4 months pregnant. I thought I was just delayed. We never stopped having sex until we broke up. Do the Math Cassie. This baby is his."

"Does Blake know?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me. That's why I need your help."

"Do you want me to convince him to talk to you?"

"No. I want you to leave him."

"What??? I couldn't do that. I mean, it would be different with him being a father of your child, but I will never leave him. We will give you all your needs, we'll support you and give your baby's needs, but I am not going to leave him, Aubrey."

"Please, Cassie. I need Blake to marry me. This baby needs a father. I want to give this baby a family. I am begging you, Cassie."

"Aubrey, I love Blake. I promise I won't let your child feel deprived from his father, but I cannot give him up for you. Besides, I think you should ask him first. Maybe you should let him decide for himself. If he wants to marry you, I'll respect his decision."

"Do you think Blake will marry me now that you're here? Let's face it, Cassie. He loves you more than he ever loved me. He will not marry me knowing you are here. That's why I need you to leave him. That way, it would be easy for him to make a decision."

"I'm sorry, Aubrey, but I can't."

"You know what, Cassandra?! Never mind." Her tone changed. "I thought you're better than your mother. It turns out you're just the same."

"Don't go there, Aubrey."

"What? Does it hurt? Last time we've talked about her, you're mad as hell because of what she did to your best friend's mother... or should I say, your half-sister's mother!"

"You still don't have a right to drag her into this conversation. I think it's better if you leave now."

"I'm sorry to say those things to you, but Cassie, I need you to realize how much my baby needs a father. You wouldn't want him or her to end up like Bianca, would you?"

"Just go, Aubrey." I opened the door for her.

"Please, Cassie. Just at least think about it." she said before she walked out the door.

When she left, I went to the veranda and sat at one of the lounging chairs. The tears I restrained a while ago fell. What am I gonna do? I love Blake, but Aubrey was right, I wouldn't want their baby to end up like my half-sister Bianca. I don't know how long I stayed like that. I woke up at 5 in the morning, still sitting at the veranda. That day, I came up with a decision. Aubrey won. For the sake of their baby, I'll let go of Blake. But before I do that, I need Him to know how much I love him... I need to be with him for the last time. I texted Blake that morning, telling him I wanted to go to the beach.

The weekend we were in Subic, I once told him that I wanted that night to be his night, but I lied. That night... that weekend... It wasn't only for Blake. More than anything, I planned it for myself. I know losing Blake will not be easy. I wanted to have something to remember when I leave... I wanted to have something to smile about, especially at times like this.

For three weeks, I was here at the beach looking at the sunset, listening to the sound of waves. This is the only way for me to feel like Blake is still here with me. The beach reminded me of the last weekend we shared in Subic where all that matters was Blake and I.

I admit that during my first few days here, I was hoping he would follow me. But I know it would just be wishful thinking. Blake didn't know the real me. So I doubt if he can ever find me. Maybe at this time, they were already planning their wedding. Blake will have his own family... he will eventually forget me. As for me, I don't know if I can forget him... I know I have to move on... I just don't know how to start.

"Excuse me, Ma'am Cassie, your mom and dad are already waiting for you at the dining area." One of the resort's staff approached me, interrupting me from thinking of Blake again.

I stood from sitting on the shore and gazed at the sky. There were many stars in the sky, but one star stood out among the rest. I looked at that brightest star, and then I closed my eyes and whispered... "I love you, Blake. I'm still in love with you."

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