After All This Time// Sebastian Sallow x Reader Hogwarts Legacy Fanfiction

It was completely dark outside now, but I still hadn't moved from my spot. I knew how dangerous this was, but I didn't care about that. The only thing I could think about is how humiliating this is for me. I know my friends will be concerned and want to help, but that's not what I need right now. 

I'm not even sure what I need. 

Being out in the Forbidden Forest awake at night feels better to me than being asleep and in my dreams right now. I don't panic whenever I'm out here. It doesn't phase me. It's odd, since I haven't been able to stop having nightmares about it all; whenever I'm in the moment, it doesn't feel like it'll affect me at all. 

I thought spiders never scared me, or ashwinders, or even inferi- but apparently it did bother me to some degree, since my mind couldn't stop thinking about it. 

I get obsessive, intrusive thoughts all the time about it. Just about the blood and the gore of it all, or I'll just see flashes of memories where I'm looking out across the bodies of all the 'bad' people I've murdered. 

It doesn't matter who it is, or who you are. Killing is killing, and it leaves a stain on your soul. 

As I sat out in the forest, I just thought about all of the things that have been bothering me. Out here in the quiet, there was nothing to stop the onslaught of memories and thoughts- it paralyzes me. 

Sebastian's POV//

I don't know why, but the poem made me angry. After coming back to the castle, I went to the library and tried to read, but I couldn't focus on anything.

The only way I see it, is that she must've cut me off and started to date someone else. That's the only reason, if you factor in that stupid poem. 

So who is it? What other fucking guy is so amazing that she didn't even want to be friends with me anymore? Who is she writing these poems for?

I couldn't picture her with anybody else. I don't know what it is about this, but it's making me question everything. 

What is it that I feel for her? 

Why does knowing she doesn't want me around make me feel like this? To cut me off so suddenly- 

Oh. 

...Is this how she felt after our fifth year when I stopped talking to her?

My thoughts were running crazy and reading was impossible with all of this going through my mind, so I headed for the commons. When I came down the stairs into the common room, Imelda was pacing back and forth but stopped to glare at me when I came into her view. 

"Ugh," she grunted, rolling her eyes. "I really don't want to be talking to you, but have you seen y/n?"

I didn't really want to be talking to you either, but at least I wasn't an ass about it. "I saw her head off into the forest," I informed her. "She hasn't come back yet?" I looked down at my watch and it was well past midnight, and it had been hours since I saw her go into the Forbidden Forest. 

"What the hell is she doing in the forest?" She yelled at me. 

"How would I know? She doesn't want to talk to me anymore," I rolled my eyes. Not my circus anymore, and y/n certainly was not my monkey. 

Imelda sighed, and started off for the stairs. 

"Wait- you're not going after her, are you? By yourself?" I asked. She scoffed at my words. 

"Well someone has to," she barked. "Don't you forget for one second that this is all your fault." 

With that she headed off up the stairs. What did she even mean by saying this was 'my fault'? Y/n was the one who wanted to cut things off in the first place. 

With a heavy sigh, I shot up the stairs to catch up with her. I knew that y/n could probably hold her own in the forest, but I wasn't so sure about Imelda. She's good on her broom, but that's all I know about her, really. 

When I exited the dorm and saw her running down the hall and I caught up with her. 

"You can't come," she said. 

"Well you're going to die if you go alone," I pointed out. 

"I can handle myself, thank you," she barked back. "She doesn't want to see you, so you definitely can't come."

"I don't care, I'm coming whether you like it or not," I told her. 

We headed out of the castle and down the path towards Hogsmeade, but made a turn into the forest where I'd seen y/n go. After walking for a while, Imelda started to get restless. 

"Are you sure this is the way she went?" she grumbled. 

"Yes, I'm sure," I replied. "But she could be anywhere in the forest by now."

"We'll just have to keep going, then," she stated. 

I had my wand out, leading us through the woods with 'lumos' to light the path ahead. I hoped she hadn't gone running into any spider nests by herself. Most of the poachers moved out of the area, so the only real worries were now inferi, spiders, and those annoying dugbogs. Imelda held her wand at the ready as well, trekking forward with caution. 

We eventually came out at the lake, but she was still nowhere to be seen. We looked around, but couldn't find any signs of y/n.

"Wait, what's this?" said Imelda. "Sebastian, come look." She was holding a piece of paper. "She was here, so that means we're at least on the right track."

"How do you know? What is it?" 

"Just something she wrote, that's not what's important. But it at least tells us she was here at one point or another tonight." She pushed the paper into her pocket.

We kept going further into the forest, looking for any more signs of where she might've gone off to. 

I hated that I was so worried about her right now. Even though I knew she could handle herself, I still wanted to make sure she came back to the castle in one piece.