After All This Time// Sebastian Sallow x Reader Hogwarts Legacy Fanfiction

Chapter 79

"Like what?"

"Anything. I just want to know you more."

"Well," I started, thinking about what to say. "For one, I'm really bad at talking about myself when people ask me to. Maybe ask me something specific?"

"Hmm.. Well what's your favorite color?" 

"Green," I replied. 

"Favorite food?"

"Anything sweet, if that counts."

He continued to ask me little questions for a little while, before he asked me to show him another memory. 

"You were showing them to me in order, so maybe show me which one comes next?" he asked. 

I remembered that the one I was yet to show him- the one where we found the scriptorium. I was hesitant to say yes, but I decided that it wasn't my right to hold those memories from him, no matter how little I wanted him to see it. 

"Okay," I said. 

We stood up and packed up our book bags before heading over to the pensieve. After putting the memory in the bowl, we dove in. 

Sebastian and I watched as we found our way inside the entrance by lighting the pyres, then solving the snake dials. Then we were at the part where we were trapped inside that room, the one where he had cast crucio on me. 

I looked over to non-memory Sebastian, who was intently watching the interaction. 

"I remember some of this, but I don't remember this part," he said, as we watched ourselves debate who would have to cast crucio on one of the others. 

I hated this part. 

Back then, he didn't seem hesitant at all to perform the curse on me. I knew he had regretted it after everything, but back then, he would do almost anything to get his hands on practically anything that could possibly cure his sister. Of course that's why I didn't hold it against him; I knew that everything he was doing was for his sister. The Sebastian I knew would go to absolutely any length to save those he cared about. 

Watching him cast the curse, I remembered what that pain had felt like. It was absolutely excruciating, probably the worst physical pain I'd ever felt in my life. Part of me was thinking about the logistics of the curse- about how you have to mean it in order for it to work. I knew he was just doing it so we could get out of there and find the scriptorium for his sister, but still.. He had to intend to cause me harm. 

I cringed as I thought this, and tried to wipe the thought from my head. 

Once the memory was finished, we found ourselves back in the Undercroft again. I pulled my pocket watch from my pocket to check the time, making sure it wasn't getting too late. I still had to go to the forest tonight. Or at least, I still had to make that choice, but my time to do so was running short. 

Sebastian had a funny look on his face as he processed what we'd just seen. 

"I'm so sorry," he uttered under his breath, barely audible. "I knew I was desperate back then, but..." he trailed off. 

"It's okay, I've already forgiven you a few times for that," I said. "And there was no other way for us to get out of there."

"But in order to cast it..." I cut him off. 

"Sebastian, I already told you that I forgive you." I stepped closer to him and put my hands on his arms. 

"I have other pieces of some memories..." he started. "I've done worse things than that, and I'm sure you know about them, or were even there. So why do you still want to be around me after all of that?"

Because I love you. And I can't help who I love, I thought to myself. 

"I knew why you were doing it, and yes, you did some questionable things, but you never meant for things to turn out like they did." 

"But it's why my sister won't talk to me anymore," he said, his voice almost at a whisper. "I remember that. I remember trying to send her letters, all last year, and they never found their way to her. She still doesn't want to see me."

"It was harder on her than anyone else," I told him. "She may still come around, she just really needs some time."

"I miss her though," his voice cracked as he spoke, "It's all my fault, yet I still miss her."

"Sebastian..." I trailed off, not sure what to say. I quickly approached him and wrapped him in a hug. He snaked his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. 

"I never deserved you," he said. "I still don't. I don't understand why you're here."

"I'm equal parts as guilty, for not telling you to stop sooner," I whispered into his ear. 

He didn't respond, but instead buried his face in my neck. His hands desperately clung to the back of my robes as he took long breaths against the nape of my neck. I knew he was in pain, but there wasn't much I could do except be there for him while he reprocessed everything. I knew this process wasn't going to be easy, but I still hated seeing him like this. 

After a little while longer, we found ourselves walking back to the Slytherin common room. The walk was mostly in silence, until we reached the last stretch of hallway. 

"I really don't see why you choose to spend time with me," he said solemnly. 

"It's because I know you, Sebastian," I told him. "No matter what happens, or what you have or will do, I know the person you are on the inside and I will continue to stay by your side as long as you let me."