Scripted Relationship

Chapter 33

"Tatawagin ko lang po si Madame," Yaya Lita told me as she went upstairs.

After some moments of gazing at the portrait, Yaya Lita returned.

"Pumunta daw po muna kayo sa kuwarto niyo, master. May kausap lang po si Madame sa telepono."

I thanked Yaya Lita with a smile and went up to my old room. I entered my room and found that it was still the same, only neat and tidy. I remember the last time I was here, this was a complete mess. Well, I destroyed a jar or two in this room because of what happened to Dad. But to my surprise, the picture of Andrea and I was still there. They didn't throw this out? I wondered. Maybe, they just wanted to keep my room in the same state as left it a long time ago.

"What brings you here, anak?" Mom asked me. I turned my back and saw her standing on the door.

"I wanted to visit our house," I replied to her as I put back the picture of Andrea and I.

"You haven't told me about what happened in New York," Mom said. "How did it go?"

I changed the topic. I needed some explanations from my Mom. "Why didn't you tell me that Andrea will be our new endorser?"

Mom did not reply immediately. She fell aghast. She walked into my room, took a chair from my table and sat in front of me. I, on the other hand, went to my bed and laid myself down. Mom let out a sigh before talking.

"Anak, I was afraid that you won't go to New York because of Andrea. I knew how she hurt you before. But I couldn't risk the ire of your grandmother if you did not go there." Mom explained.

"At least, you could have told me about it so that I was able to prepare myself," I said to her. "Because right now, I feel I am not making the right choices in my life."

I closed my eyes with my hands. I couldn't bear Mom seeing me cry. I didn't want her to see me as a weakling. Suddenly, Mom sat beside me and touched my head for comfort. I removed my hands which was already wet of tears and looked at her.

"I'm sorry, anak," Mom said to me apologetically.

"Actually, it's not even the reason why I am frustrated right now," I explained to her as look up the ceiling. Mom was caressing my head like a child. Moments after, I looked at her in the eye.

"Mom, paano ka naka-move on kay Dad?"

Mom looked away for a while and then, she smiled and looked back at me again.

"Hindi naman ako talaga naka-move on sa Daddy. How can I move on with the man I loved?"

I was puzzled by her answer. "Really? Until now?"

"Alam mo, anak. Moving on is just a figure of speech. It is a well-settled decision to continue with your life. But it does not make you forget the person you love."

"How did you live without him?"

"I chose to be brave. Brave enough to accept that he's already gone. That he already left us so that he can go back to his Creator."

Mom stopped for a bit and then continued.

"After your Dad died, I felt that I no longer have any purpose in living because God already took away the reason I live. But I realized na hindi lang ang Dad mo ang tanging taong binigay sa akin para mapagkunan ko ng lakas at saya upang mabuhay; to forget all the pain I felt when your Dad left us."

"Huh? Who's new guy? You're not even telling me that." Will everything be concealed to me by Mom? To my surprise, she simply chuckled upon hearing what I said.

"No, silly. I don't need another man to be happy," Mom said. "I have you."

I looked at her curiously. "Me?"

"Yes, you. Because you are my son. You are the greatest gift of our love. Why would I go looking for another man if I already have you?"

I looked at Mom then I got up. I tried to control my tears from flowing from my eyes, but to no avail. Tears started rolling from my eyes as I looked at my smiling Mom in front of me.

"You made me be strong, Erik. You are the reason I live," Mom said to me.

Out of the blue, I moved myself to hug Mom. At that moment, I let out all the pain and regret I had in my heart to my Mom. Mom hugged me back and caressed on my back.

"Iiyak mo lang, anak. Nandito lang ako."

It made me cry harder. Of all the people, I never thought my Mom would give me this kind of comfort. The comfort I needed to at least lessen the heavy burden in my heart. After a while, I let go of the embrace and looked at Mom.

"I hurt Rose, Mom," I said to her, stuttering like a child. "I hurt her because I cannot move on with Andrea. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do."

Mom straightened herself and faced me while holding both of my shoulders like a little boy.

"Anak, let me ask you one thing," Mom said to me. I looked at her intently, listened closely to what she will ask. "But you need to inhale and exhale three times. Can you do that?"

I nodded and inhaled and exhaled three times. I felt a little better like there was enough air in my head.

"Okay. Now close your eyes and listen to my voice carefully," Mom instructed me. I complied.

"Who was there when you were at your lowest? Who was brave enough to bring you up when you fell? Who made you become a better person than you were before? Who was there when you felt you're the most perfect imperfect person in the world?"

The first person who came to my mind was Rose. Images of Rose came into mind. When she smiles, when she laughs, when she smirks, when she pouts, when she show a blank face, and when she kissed me. She was there when I broke down after I told her that Andrea hurt me. She was there when I was sick, and even took care of me. She showed me that simple things in life matter more than what I aleady have. She tolerated me with my selfish and even misunderstood antics. Unexpectedly, she helped me veer away from the pain of the past. She loved me for who I was not. She made me love her for who she was.

"Don't tell me your answer," Mom explained. "Because whoever it is, that person gave you the strength you needed to move on. That is the person you really love. And it did not confuse you for sure."