If only

Alyssa Pov

Another Beautiful day in LA! Another day to have a great day!

"Mommy" My son yells from his room

"Coming" I say as I make my way to his room. I just finish making breakfast for me and him.

"You ok buddy" I ask once I get into his room

"I don't know what to wear" he says

"Here I'll help" I say and pick a shirt and pants from his closet

"Prefect" he says with a smile. God I love my kid, I'm so grateful for him!

Hi I'm Alyssa Marie Nash, I'm 26 years old and I live in LA with my son Christopher Nash! I was born and raised in Minnesota until a incident happen which made me lose my mother and two younger siblings. I miss them everyday.

After the incident my father moved to LA and I moved to Texas to live with my moms sister and her daughter. I wanted to be closer to mom family. So I moved in with my aunt and cousin, I attended the rest of my freshman year and high school years in Texas. During the time I met my ex and father to my son. I don't say his name he broke my heart.

He broke up with me for another girl! I found out a week after we broke up, that they started dating. That hurt the most! I feel bad for my son that he won't have a dad maybe one day I'll tell him about him but for now I won't. He never asks me about his father because he knows the topic hurts me.

My son is my world! I love him so much! Christopher Nash, 7 years old! He reminds me of my ex a lot but I try to not think about that. He make me smile and giggle. He a great kid and funny. I thank god for him every day! Without him I don't know who or where I would be! I love my son and he prefect just the way he is! Some people don't think he's prefect!

My son was born with cerebral palsy but I think he prefect just the way he is. I try to treat him like he a normal kid but there times were I have to help him or tell him he can't do a certain thing. People look at him with disgust but I think he prefect just the way he is!!

My sons last name is not Nash, it is Diaz but I kept it Nash because the father is out of the picture. I just don't want it to be my ex last name!

Two weeks after we broke up I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked but also sad, my ex is the father and I started panicking. But I did what I though best, I left Texas and move to LA where my dad is. Needed a fresh start but also want to raise this kid. I decided not to tell the father, he broke up with me for another girl! Why should I tell him? Well I did leave a envelope in his mailbox with a ultrasound picture and a letter but I guess he didn't care.

Fresh start was what I needed! My dad is the only one who knows about my son! I haven't told anyone else about him. I don't want to be known as the girl who is a single mom. My dad think I should tell the team since we're like a family. But I feel like I'm not close with a lot of them except 3 of them are siblings to me and the rest are just someone I work with.

Buck, Hen, Chimney! We act like siblings! Buck feels like a brother to me, I joined a couple of weeks before he did. Hen is like a sister to me, me and her are very close. Probably because we're the only two female in the house. Then there chimney, don't know why we call him that, no has ever told me or ever will. Chimney is like a brother to me also. I feel like me, Hen and Chimney are like a little friend group. We're like that friend group that will never die, probably because we're the paramedics on the team. The three of us spend a lot of time together. I can't wait to see them!

Today is the day I return to work! I been out for a couple of weeks! Me and Christopher went to Minnesota to visit friends and family but to also visit my mom and siblings graves. I tell my son stories about them, he also says he wishes he could meet them. They would have loved him and he would have loved them.