If only

A/N: OMG TYSM FOR 1k reads!!!! It means a lot to me! I hope you guys are enjoying my book! Here is chapter 10!!

Alyssa Pov

And as my life couldn't get any better, I ended up coming down with the flu and Christopher also has it. Why does all the horrible stuff happen to me. As my dad knows I hate getting sick. I've always been a pain when I'm sick. My parents have always had a difficult time taking care of me when I'm sick because I'm not the easiest to take care of when I'm sick! But I also feel bad for Christopher because he also has the flu. He got it two days after I got it.

Carla hasn't been over since two days before I got it. I might've got it the day after she stopped coming because I started not feeling the greatest that day but it wasn't anything severe yet but I told her not to come since if I was getting some I didn't want to get her sick. She wants to come so badly to help out but I told her I don't wanna get her sick because right now she's feeling completely fine.

I've been sick for almost a week now and Christopher's been sick for three days. During the past couple of days, my dad has come to visit to make sure I was ok. He made me homemade chicken noodle soup and he brought me some medicine. he also went to the doctor for me to get medicine for Christopher so he will start feeling better. We're both starting to do a little bit better but we're still feeling it.

I was feeling a little bit better so I decided to clean the house since it's covered in germs. And it's good to clean your house after you start feeling a little bit better because you don't want the germs to come back. And I can't be sick anytime soon. In a week and a half. I have the interview with Christopher's possibly new school.

The interview is about me and Christopher's life to see if he's a perfect fit for the school. I really hope we pass. I think this school is perfect for him! There is an interview, then I get a tour of the school! and I hope I passed the interview and they let him go because I think this is what Christopher needs and Carla agrees. Their programs are perfect for him. And they came recommended from another mother, who has a child with the same disability as mine.

I start cleaning around the house, spraying it down with cleaning spray and wiping stuff down. Christopher is currently taking a nap, and I gave him his medicine a little while ago, the same time when I took mine.

I'm interrupted from my cleaning when I hear or knock at the door. Who's at my door? my dad said he wasn't coming until tomorrow and everyone else should be at work. And Carla is not supposed to be here. I look out the window and I see Eddie at my door. What is he doing here? I go to my door and I open it.

"Hi" I ask confused but also a couple feet away from him as I don't want to get him sick. Thankfully Christopher is sleeping!!

"Hey, I came to check on you and see how you were and how Christopher was" he says there's not 100% of truth in his voice that that's really why he's here

"I'm doing better, so is Christopher. He's sleeping right now." I say

"That's good, that's really good" he says a little bit happy and I can see he's nervous

"Why are you really here Diaz come here to break my heart again?" I say sounding a little bit rude, but I'm really not in the mood to talk to him right now. I never talk Eddie only, I only talk to him when friends are around!

"Um is he mine" he asks

"Why ask me now when I'm not feeling well" I ask him

"I just wanna know Alyssa, it's killing me not knowing if he's mine or not. I've been think back to time and it lines up to the time when we were still together" he says, I tell him or do I not. Part of me it's not want to tell him and part of me feels like I should tell him because he has the right to no. Right now I'm not in the mood to talk about it at all.

"He's not yours" I say you can see all of the hope and his face wash away

"So you cheated on me then" he says

"You should always know I would never cheat on you" I say and looks at me knowing I'm right. He knew when he dated me that I would never cheat on him because I'm not that type of person, but I also hate cheaters.

"Sorry, you met someone after we broke up" he asks and I nod. I can see tears building in his eyes.

"You ok" I ask him and he nods I can tell he's not.

"Eddie talk to me, we're not together anymore, but we're still friends and we work together. What's going on?" I ask him

"I was hoping he was my son. A year after me and Shannon got married, we found out that Shannon can't have kids. I always wanted a kid and when I heard you had Christopher, I put the timing together and I was hoping he was mine" he says and even though I'm sick, I give him a hug and I feel his tears dripping onto my shirt

"I'm so sorry" I say, I feel bad for lying to him but I'm really not in the mood to talk about Christopher with him because I know if I tell him the truth he'll be at my ass right now

"It's ok, I should probably get going. Let you rest." He says and I nod

He leaves I feel horrible for lying, but he hurt me back then so much I'm just not ready to tell him. If he didn't leave me for he probably would've still been together today. Maybe when the time comes I will but right now I just wanna keep it a secret from him. I do feel bad for him and Shannon though. when I was with Eddie one day we talked about our future together. And he mentioned how he really wants to have kids. His dream wants to be a father. It was something he always wanted. That day we talked about a wedding, getting a house together and having kids I miss that time, though, that was before he met Shannon. We both knew from the start that we were going to be together forever but I guess it wasn't true.

One thing that throws me off is when I'm around Eddie, he looks nervous. I noticed him constantly staring at me sometimes when we're on calls or in the house from afar. Sometimes I wonder does he miss me?

But he shouldn't though! He left me! I shake the thought out of my head and finish cleaning the house!

Eddie Pov

I was stupid for going over there, he's not my son, and that makes me even more sad than I am originally. Every day I'm hating myself. 

I should've never left Alyssa, if I didn't that kid in that house could've been mine, but she found someone else.

Every day I hate myself, because I realize I made a mistake. Shannon was really not the one I wanted to be with. It was Alyssa but I noticed she was keeping her distance from me before we broke up.  That made me think she cheating on me?

Shannon told me that she possibly could be so I spent more time with Shannon to try to see who I really wanted to be with. I was starting to get feelings for Shannon back then but I realized after Alyssa left and we started dating that they were more of a brother and sister lover.

They were nothing like how I felt with Alyssa. Alyssa was my everything and I wish I married her!

But one thing that's got me thinking maybe he is my son and she's not saying anything. what if she's lying? I know Alyssa well, and she has a hard time making friends. I know her better than anyone else in that house besides her father.

The main reason why I came today was because it's hard finding a time to talk to Alyssa alone about it because she wants no one to know about our past. No one in the house knows about our relationship probably except her father. And I have a feeling she doesn't want to tell anyone in the house about our past together

I really wish I married Alyssa and not Shannon! I regret my decision every day!

A/N: oh Eddie's Pov surprise!

She lied!! Will the truth come out soon? And Eddie is regretting marrying Shannon?

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!!