If only

Alyssa Pov

It's Halloween! For Halloween I'm just as a witch. I usually don't dress up for Halloween but for Christopher I do! This year Christopher wanted to be wolverine!

I had Carla come over to help with Halloween but also she's a part of the family and I think she would like spending Halloween with us. She also doesn't mind spending it with us and I asked her if she wanted to she can spend it with her family, but she said she doesn't mind spending it with us. She said she wants to do Halloween.

"Ta da" I say twirling showing her my costume! My costume is a black dress that ends right below my kneecaps and and it has lace sleeves! I also have a pair of black boots to go with the costume that are very comfy!

"You look pretty" Carla says and I smile but she can tell it's not a real smile

"And why is that smile not real" she ask

"I told Christopher's father about Christopher. Everything was fine until at the very end we got into a little argument, and I left. so now I don't know if our agreement will work!" I say and she nods

"Ok, if he wants to be in Christopher's life, he will do it. But what agreement did you guys make?" She asks

"for him to do the interview, he wants Christopher to know about him and he wants to see Christopher whenever he wants" I say and she nods

"Ok those are understandable agreements. That tells you that the father wants to be in the kids life. And every kid needs their father." She says and she is 100% right

"I'm just scared that he's gonna grow close to Christopher and want to be in Christopher's life every day which means I'm scared that he might file for custody. And I can't lose that kid! I kept that kid from his father for seven years. What will the court do? The punishment for that probably. I can't lose that kid! He is my life" I say and she nods

"Well what's one thing that might make him win for custody" she asks

"Main reason he's married" I says and she nods

"Ok that's a big reason, do they have any kids together?" She asks and I nod no

"The wife can't carry kids" I say and she nods

"So two big reasons. we just gotta hope that he doesn't file for it because right now the chances of him getting it are really high" she says and I nod

"I just wish he never hurt me back then, if he didn't, then none of this would be a problem right now" I say and she nods

"Hey, everything will be ok! At least he knows now, and he's not finding out later later in life. And besides, when was the last time, Christopher asked you about his father" she asks me

"two months ago but before then it was a very long time" I say

"Ok but that's good. At least he's asking, it shows that maybe he wants to know his father" she says and I nod

"He told me he wants to meet his father but also he wants his father around because he knows it's one thing that could possibly make me feel better about the whole situation" I say

"How much does he know about you and your ex relationship?" She asks

"Not much, all he knows is that long time ago his father did some thing that really broke my heart. Christopher thinks if his father were to come into the picture, me and his father could forgive each other and make up and then everything will be perfect again. he told me that he needs his father. He wants the three of us to be a family. How do I tell him that's not gonna happen? My ex is literally married" I say