Rita: You know, my psychic told me I'd be going somewhere bad on Wednesday. I just thought she meant Baltimore,...
A/N: (Sci-)Owen Baltimore: (3:54)
Rita: ...I didn't think it was... (Slams the box) HELL!
Obadiah: Well~ Tell me what brings you here~
Rita: Okayyy! From the top. I went for my usual tarot reading last week, and-
Loona: No, no. Fast forward to who killed you
Rita: Ohhh, m'okay. Yesterday I was killed by the evil ghost haunting a spooky hotel
Millie, Obie, and Loona:...
Millie: Um. Ma'am. I don't know how to tell you this, but when humans die they either end up here...or up there.
Rita: Ohhhh, okay. (inclined her head) I don't understand.
Loona: She's saying ghosts aren't real, lady!
Alarm:
Blitzo then bursted out.
Blitzo: Ghost!? I heard ghost. Where's the ghost I can fuck- er, hunt?
Millie: Blitzo, calm down! Someone killed this lady but it wasn't-
Blitzo: Millie! Let me have this.
Millie: But-
Blitzo: (Holds out "Unconditional Support")
Loona: I don't know if this is a good idea
Millie: He'll be fine. We'll check the place out, see what passes on Earth for creepy, and Blitzo will get all this out of his system. You just need to keep an eye on Moxxie, he's a little-
Moxxie: (Banging head against cracking glass) BANKRUPTCY, BANKRUPTCY, BANKRUPTCY! (Rips shirt)
A/N: Blind Wave Calvin: Jeez!!!
Millie: Upsetti
Loona: I don't take orders from you, grandma
Obadiah: DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOM LIKE THAT!!!
Obadiah: What the Luigi's Mansion is that! 😠
Blitzo: You like it? It's Bethany Ghost-Fucker's Ghost Sucker 9000. Sure to get you a ghost after a ghost gets you...off. Only set me back a couple thousand!
Millie: A couple what?! You haven't paid me in a month!
Obadiah: YOU DIDN'T PAY ME AT ALL
He threw his switchblade at Blitzo, who just sucks it up with his vacuum.
Blitzo: Uh oh! Looks like it sucked (Playfully sucks on Obie's cheek with vacuum) all the fun outta you. Now hurry up and put this on, those ghosts aren't gonna fuck themselves
He walks off as Obie angrily cracks his neck left and right before following. Millie was mad as her Son is.
Millie: He needs this. He needs this. (Strained) He needs this
YOU ARE READING
Hazbin A Helluva Life: Work-in-Progress Edition
Fanfiction(7-19-2024) It's always hazbin about a someone(s) having one helluva life, holy or not...Vivziepop, don't sue
Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostf**kers!!! (Idiot!)
Start from the beginning
