Saving the Broken (Connor x Deviant!Reader)

Chapter 36

"Listen, we didn't come here to talk philosophy. The machines you created might be planning a revolution. Either you can tell us something that might be helpful, or we will be on our way." Hank said. Kamski turned to me.

"What about you, Connor?" He asked. I was confused for a moment. "Whose side are you on?" I was surprised by the question. I didn't really know how to answer that.

"I have no side." I replied, avoiding the question as best I could. "I was designed to stop deviants and that's what I intend to do." It was true. I was simply doing my job. That's all. There was nothing else to it. Right? I asked myself, not sure if everything was that simple after all. Kamski let out a small laugh of amusement.

"Well, that's what you're programmed to say, but you..." He began, taking a step closer. "what do you really want?" He asked. I took a short moment. I had n idea why, but my mind wandered to (Y/n). I remembered the kiss for a brief moment. I also remembered her anguish that had led to her fury toward me. I want... I stopped. No. No, no, no. I can't want that. That's not my purpose. That's not why I'm here. I need to stop. I HAVE to. 

"What I want is...not important." I said. As I said it I began to wonder about the words I had just had with myself. Is it okay to be sorry? Is it okay to want it to have ended differently? Should I have regrets? I didn't know what to tell myself anymore. Kamski brought me back out of my thoughts.

"Chloe?" He called to the android girl from before. She walked over. "I'm sure you're familiar with the Turing test. Mere formality, simple question of algorithms and computing capacity." He said. "What interests me is whether machines are capable of empathy. I call it 'the Kamski test', it's very simple, you'll see." He looked over Chloe. "Magnificent, isn't it? One of the first intelligent models designed by Cyberlife. Young...and beautiful forever. A flower that will never wither. But what is it really? Piece of plastic imitating a human? Or a living being...with a soul." Kamski said, retrieving a hand gun. Chloe knelt down in front of me. Seeing the gun and Chloe in front of me, I grew worried as I began to piece this test together. "It's up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor." He gave me the gun. He made me point the gun at her. "Destroy this machine, and I'll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it's alive, but you'll leave here without having learnt anything from me." Hank wasn't having it.

"Okay, I think we're done here." He said. My LED was flashing yellow very fast. I was nervous. What should I do? "Come on, Connor let's go. Sorry to get you out of your pool."

"What's more important to you, Connor? You're investigation, or the life of this android?" Kamski asked. "Decide who you are. An obedient machine, or a living being endowed with free will."

"That's enough! Connor, we're leaving." Hank said, turning to leave, but Kamski continued.

"Pull the trigger,"

"Connor! Don't." Hank said strongly

"and I'll tell you everything you wanna know." I debated on what to do. I looked Chloe in the eyes. Her eyes... I remembered the night (Y/n) and I had spent together. I remembered looking over and seeing her eyes. Her beautiful eyes and smile imprinted into my memory, for I could never forget that night and the moments that were shared on it. 

I then remembered shooting Oreon. I remembered his look of terror and seeing the light drain from his own eyes. I remembered watching his die in (Y/n)'s arm as she cried out for him, her best friend. I took that from her. I did this. The gun was in MY hand. I looked Chloe straight in the eye once again. I can't do this. 

I gave the gun back to Kamski, my heart pounding in my chest. I had never been so scared in my life. I didn't understand. I shouldn't have been feeling fear. Nothing was making sense. All I knew was that I was afraid and I just couldn't shoot. I had held guns too many times now. I never wanted to touch one again, but something told me that wouldn't be the last time I would have to debate on whether or not to pull a trigger. 

Kamski started to speak, once again pulling me back to reality. I almost dreaded coming back to reality. It was getting harder and harder to exist in this one by the minute. Still, I was pulled back into the world around me.

"Fascinating. Cyberlife's last chance to save humanity, is itself a deviant." My LED was still flashing yellow. I'm...no...no! It's not true! I'm not a deviant! I'M NOT BROKEN! The thought alone terrified me. If I was deviant they'd shut me down. They'd catch me and kill me. I would be destroyed without question or remorse.

"I'm...I'm not a deviant!" I insisted.

"You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission. You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy." He let Chloe go. "A war is coming, you'll have to chose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators? What could be worse than having to chose between two evils?" Hank grabbed my shoulder and turned me away from Kamski.

"Let's get outta here." He said. As we left, Kamski mentioned one last thing.

"By the way, I always leave an emergency exit in my programs. You never know." He said. I paused, thinking over what he was implying for a short moment, before continuing to follow after Hank.

"Why didn't you shoot?" Hank asked. I quickly became frustrated, not wanting to discuss why I couldn't shoot her.

"I just saw that girl's eyes and I couldn't, that's all." I said defensively.

"You're always saying you'd do anything to accomplish your mission. That was our chance to learn something and you let it go." Hank countered. He didn't seem upset. He seemed curious more than anything else, but his tone was the least of my concerns at the moment for I was still frustrated.

"Yeah, I know what I should've done! I told you, I couldn't! I'm sorry, okay?" I said. Hank smiled a little.

"Maybe you did the right thing." He said. He walked past me, heading toward the car. I was stunned. The...right thing? I...I did? I was so confused. I had so many questions. It was the same as before. With every question answered, two more took it's place. I no longer knew what was going to happen, but I had a feeling deep down the Kamski was right on one thing. It was going to be my choice in the end.